i guess my blog is a.......

.........twitter today.
this is my 3rd post today.

because i'm at work, sittin in my new office.
yep. i said NEW
i moved into a new room this week!

im SOOOOOOOO pumped to have a LARGE office next year.

now i will have tons of room for small groups next year!!!
and have tons of room for play therapy supplies!!!!!!!!!!!

anyways.
im all moved in and its thundering and raining
and its soothing.
so.
i guess i will write another blog.
because the teachers are gone
and
i already spoke with my sister and both mom(s).

so hello again.

i've been going through some old drawers at school today.
and found this cd.
oh my oh my oh my

it brought back the BEST MEMORIES of my first year of teaching.

me and the kids' favorite one was "three little birds"

and so i put it on my playlist.

listen to it! its number 1 on the list.

and then imagine how much fun we had dancing around the room together!!!!!!!!!!

(also, wen mr leif and i were in jamaica for our honeymoon, their motto was totally 'evryting iz gonna be alright mon'. which is totally the lyrics to this song. so every time i heard this song i thought of our honeymoon and how it was truly the best EVER. and i would laugh at how many cocktails mr leif and i consumed while laying on the beach and partying it up like it was 1969.......and then i would get all giddy and goosebumpy and really go crazy with the kids! they probably thought i was a nut....... oh well. we had fun)

children are beautiful people.

when things are going good.....

.........it's easy to put things on the back burner.

for instance. prayer
for instance. time spent in the bible
for instance. being real with the Lord
for instance. seeking His will

that's where i am today. well, mostly these last couple weeks.

things are going well. so good, in fact.
my husband is home.
the scale has stopped jumping numbers upon numbers.
i feel better.
i got a new bra... fist pump!?!?
i had marvelous time spent with my inlaws
we find out if the babe is boy or girl FRIDAY!!!!
i get to see my family for four days.
i get to eat cheese balls at sweet treat in just 2 days.

so i've stopped doing the things that kept me going this past year.

i think it's quite typical for this to happen.
when we need help we get it.
i prayed, i read, i meditated on things above

and now.

now, my cup feels so full.
but i know its full of things that can fail me in an instant.
things that can swipe my feet right from under me.

a few weeks ago the children's message at church was about building your house upon a rock.
not on the sand.
mr. leif seems like my rock.
he's been it since i was 16.

i learned this past year i can't only lean on him.
but rather my relationship with the Lord must be my foundation.
our foundation.

however, now that he's home, he's become my only rock again.
and it works.
but there are so many things that could fail me, and my foundation isn't strong right now.
i need to get back to that place.

there are lots of decisions to be made when preparing for a babe.
names.
jobs.
finances.
goals.
dreams.
and they all need to be sought after while seeking God's will.

i have a habbit of trying to figure out life for myself.
get that degree, get that job, get that paint color on my wall :)
but its time to surrender, even the little things, over to Him.

pray for me as i seek to seek His will.
and not my own.

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.
John 15:4

to heck with a jogging stroller.......

.......why not get a scooter stroller.

perfect for 'moms on the go'

muahahahahahahhahahha

ahhhhhhhhh

hahahahahahhahahah

i LOVE to laugh.........................

let the summer........

.........begin!

mr. leif's fam came down this weekend.
we had THE best time!

........we tailgated
.......and rocked out at the royals game
.......we enjoyed dinner out on the town

and because my mind is mumbo jumbo today,
this is more like a facebook update......
a bunch of snaps from the weeknd!

and sunday after they left..... (sad face. i have THE BEST inlaws EVER)

.......we had more guests

nick, heather and grant came over for a bbq.we love the sutkos!

today was the last...

...day of school, i mean half day!

well.....
for the students it was.
i go back all next week for meetings and to move my office into a bigger room!
yay!!
i am super excited to have a bigger room next year!
my couch practically takes up half of my office this year!

and then i am on to teaching summer school (just in june, and just til 1:00 each day!)
and then i am off to the pool as much as i can!
and decorating, and crafting, and figuring out my sewing machine, and family, and traveling, and cooking for mr leif, and begging mr. leif to meet me for lunch at the park, and getting the nursery ready, and getting fatter and fatter - well, my belly, that is!
and then back to school on july 27th!
i know it will fly by :) ........... actually more like this face :(

so back to today........

mr. leif had this random idea to capture my morning 'getting ready for the last day of school'

he ran into the bathroom with the camera.
and snapped some shots.
then he looked at them and said, "whoa, you look kinda scary in some of these"
so he deleted the bad ones :)
here is what remained when i looked at the camera after he left for work..............



hahahahaha............

he threw up his hood, and snuck in the photo.
then he started singing 'slim shady'
.....like he was eminem or something.
but i liked it.
it make me laugh, and smear my mascara.

and.
he made me blueberry pancakes!

thanks mr. leif :)

i'm glad your home. i missed having breakfast made this year!

and, peace out 09-10 school year, you were wonderful to me.

it was a great first year as counselor: ...................i learned, i grew, i stretched (both mind and tummy!), i laughed, i loved, i learned some more, i cried a few times, i loved and loved, i hugged, and i played.

ps........thanks katie for the black little sweater thingy. (she was going to sell it on our garage sale, but i really fell in love with it, and she let me have it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eeeeeeeek!!!!!!!!!!!!)

dear wittle weif,

so, hello! its your momma here......
and i have a few things to tell you.

first of all a confession.
you see, normally, i am quite the detailed/organized/planner crazy woman.
but
since you've been hangin out in my tummy,
(that's wear you are, right? in my tummy?)
i've lacked in that area!

before i was pregnant, i always predicted i would journal about everything while pregnant.
i would take measurements, record my symptoms, record my weight, etc......
well. i've done none of that.

so. i am going to begin documenting a few things i never want to forget.

today, i wanna write about mr. leif, he's your dad.

1. so while you are in my belly, we talk about how old you are in weeks. last friday you turned 18 weeks. its been tradition with your dad and i that sometime over the weekend while i am in the shower, he reads the next chapter in our book. we have a book about the details of a growing baby. i think its so cute of him. normally he isn't a big reader, but he thrives on reading about you! we learn about how big you are and how unhealthy i am acting, whoops. but don't worry, with these eating habbits, you and i will totally share the same sweet tooth! just think...we can sneak chocolate into our rooms at night, we can share rootbeer floats, and beg your dad to make us brownies - together!!! cheers to junk food :)

2. lots of time people take pictures of pregnant ladies. well, your dad has totally been all over this one. every sunday night (except for a few we forgot) he has me line up in the kitchen for a body shot, to see how much i've grown - well really, its seeing how much you've grown - inside my belly! your dad is quite persistent about this. especially when he was gone in st. louis. on those sunday nights he was home, we just HAD to get that photo taken!

3. last week we toured a hospital. you see, we have to pick between two different ones because my doctor delivers at either place. this summer we will take some classes to learn about how scary this whole havin a baby thing is, and we need to know where to sign up for them! you dad scheduled the tour. and he was TAKING NOTES the whole time (and we were with a group)! he was listing the positives and the negatives! at first i was kind of embarassed, and as many woman are, i was tempted to have him stop or even make fun of him. but then, i realized i need to embrace the amazing father he is already trying to be! i smiled. i was so proud of my note taking husband, aka your daddy! we get to visit the 2nd hospital next monday, i'm sure he will bring his handy dandy little notebook :)

ok, so long for now :)

ps. will you start kicking a little harder? i haven't felt you yet and i would like to soon!

the cup slap club...

...gots talent.

so earlier this year, i took some 5th and 6th grade girls to a leadership conference.
we learned a sweet cup slap routine thingy.
and we had lots of fun.
welllllll at the WASH (nickname for my school, washington) we had a talent show!

so.
our 'club' performed.
and we rocked it!

i was helping out distributing cups so i couldnt' take a photo until the last cup was beginning to be passed down, and likewise, i could only video the tail end of our performance.
slap those cups girls!

i lied at church yesterday...

...when someone asked me if i was ready for the school year to be over.

i said "yes, Oh yes."
and then a thought popped into my mind....'wait, that's not true'

see, its like the thing to say. when someone asks a teacher or for me, a counselor, if you are ready for summer.

DUH! of course you say yes! its only natural.

i mean come on.
imagine your day with 25 kids in your face-all day.
trying to teach them, trying to be their friend.
who wouldn't need a break. teachers are my heros.

but im not a teacher anymore.
as a counselor, my job is totally different.

yes. there are days when i need to probably pull my hair out.
because the other option i think of is not very 'legal'.

but. as a counselor........i get to help kids with life.
how to deal, how to cope, how to calm, and how to plan.

so. this whole counseling gig, for ME, is much better then teaching.
and the truth is. i'm not counting down til summer.

actually this is our last week of school and i could totally go like 4 more weeks.
but. july 27th will come soon enough and i know that i will be sad to kiss my summer away.
so.
i am embracing this last week.
i am not counting down, but celebrating such a successful year.

and how can i not celebrate,
two 5th grade girls came to visit me the other morning, with this.......

after i read the card,
i told them i love them.
is that inappropriate?
probably.
oh well.

i got bangs.....

........up in my hair. yo.

last night i did.
and then we ate mexicano with colette and quinn.
and then i did a 3 minute photo shoot in my bathroom, while mr. leif was yelling at me to come hang out with him.

it was nice.
ya know, not to be in class on a wednesday night. ahhhhh..........

on saturday we got...

.....funnel cakes.
they were yummy.

we walked to the festival a few blocks away.

and devoured the greasy goodness.

and then we went out to get a cocktail.
well. mr. leif did, i had sprite.
he wouldn't be seen with this picture below, he thought it looked like a girly drink.

thou shalt not covet...

...a swimsuit model's bod.

ok people.

it's voting time.

well........its pretend voting time.

• mr. leif will choke when he sees the prices of these suckers
• so i doubt i will actually buy one
• but maybe....maybe i can convince him
• (wanna know my tactic? put on a current suit and watch his eyes pop in 'holy cow, that thing will never work' amazement, as he sees my volumptuousness jump out from ever angle.
• so vote anyways :)

HERE THEY ARE:

1. ALOHA!!!!

the Maternal America Palm Josie Halter Tankini -- $94.00

pro - holy cleavage! - mr. leif won't know what hit him!

con - holy cleavage! - i don't need other men staring there too....

other pro - top goes down and will hide any love handle-ish flab trying to peek out and say hi to the sun.

2. SUMMA SIZLIN!

the Maternal America Jenni Tankini -- $98.00

pros - sweet pattern, sweet colors, should hide the hooters

con - weird tan on the chest from the halter

3. SIMPLY PINK!

the Maternal America 1 Piece Keyhole Swimsuit -- $69.00

pros - simple, should promote good tan lines, should hide the hooters fairly well

cons - seems a bit high cut around the thighs.......my thighs are not my selling point these days- especially in the back :)

4. SHOW THAT BELLY GIRL!

the Maternal America Jill Boy Bikini -- $84.00

pros - cute pattern, provides for a tan belly, shorts will help hold the butt cheeks in

cons - my belly will be exposed.....weird for others maybe, but i don't think i will care??

other con - maybe not the most slenderizing suit - hhahahaha but who can find anything slenderizing when you are growin a babe inside!??!?

PS.

i think i wanna get bangs.

just like model above.

she's cute.

if any of my prego friends that read this wanna know how to get these suits,

click here!

k. now vote!

and then come to the pool with me this summer!

eeeeeeeek!

SUMMMER IS SO CLOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love me some sun.

the whopper.....

........am i ready for it?

when you're pregnant, there are the very obvious physical symptoms.
most of them you hear about years before you are even ready to be a mom.

but. you rarely hear about the emotional and psychological symptoms.
and i think those might have just as much, if not more, of an affect.

maybe becoming a counselor has caused me to over-analyze, over-think, and look deeply into most day to day situations. maybe that's whats going on.
whatever it is, i've been hit by the emotional/psychological pregnancy symptom truck.
its a big truck. and smack. it just t-boned me.

these aren't like mean wife/mean friend/mean coworker emotions.
no,
they are more like.......a sadness. a sadness that most people wouldn't see by looking at me.
i'm quite smiley and energetic these days, specially since my sickiness is gonzo :)

its inside, and its deep down.

i feel like i am mourning the end to the relationship that exists between mr leif and i.
i feel like what we have now, is going to be gone.
and it will come back.......when we are like 50, but it will be different. way different then now.

when you are with someone. just the two of you, for a long period of time, things get comfortable. and you begin to take that comfortableness for granted.

when we are lazy.

when we fall on the floor from laughter.

when we drive around for 30 minutes cuz we are bored and want to go scope out mansions that we will never own while stuffing our faces with ice cream.

when we watch naughty shows (ex:cougar town and kendra) and dont have to worry about little ears in the other room ;)

when we make fruit pizzas and eat them out of the pan.

heck, when we make any sort of dessert, and eat it straight out the pan. not even cutting rows.

when we make a list of the 39 things we need to do on a saturday, but then say 'screw it' and take naps and watch movies. even if the weather is nice for yard work. even if the house is a pit and screaming to be cleaned.

i just don't know if i am ready to say goodbye to those things.
i know. i know. all you amazing mothers out there are going to now think, and then say,
"oh, but when the baby comes you wouldn't have it any other way, its the most amazing feeling ever!!!"
and i know it will be. i don't doubt that one bit.
in fact, i am super de duper excited for it!!!!
but.
i haven't experienced it yet.
and because of this missing experience, im sad about losing what we have.

life is so weird, huh?
we go through stage after stage.
we think we are truly in the thick of it at 16 years old trying to study for a chemistry exam (oh wait, i didn't really do homework in high school, whoops) or at 18 when cramming for your first college final. or when you are trying to plan a wedding, or when you are going to interview for your first job. but those are all just practice for the big whoppers.
the big whoppers that come with being a mom.

my family is easy right now. its just mr. leif. and me.
in fact, its the easiest thing i do.
its not hard like school, not busy like work, not annoying like the guilt i feel when i don't work out.
to live as husband and wife is blissfully simple.
until the kid(s) come.

am i ready to experience minimal date nights?
hardly any time to talk, just me and him?
the simple ways of living on the fly, cuz there's no 'little life' that we are fully committed to?
stopping by tjmaxx for 10 minutes, but end up staying there for over an hour??

humph. i know its coming. and soon.

i'm trying to mentally and spiritually prepare.

its gonna be a whopper of change.

its gonna be the biggest whopper i've experience so far.

but.
until i am smacked in the face with the new life of a being a mom.
i'll soak up the fun stuff.
and i'll prepare for october.
and i'll pray.
that always helps too ;)

so i got this sewing machine for christmas.

on tuesday night, as i finished editing my last assignment of the semester, i decided to OPEN my sewing machine for the first time.

then, i drove, really fast, to hobby lobby.
cuz it was 8:43pm and they close at 9.

i was fortunate to receive some fabulous advice and suggestions from the lady in the fabric section.
she told me about the iron on stuff to make your fabric stiff.
so i bought some of that.
and now, check out these fabric beauties i bought too. fun summer colors, ey?!
then. by 9:15pm i set to work trying to figure out my sewing machine and trying to load up some thread.
confession: i've never threaded a needle.
confession: i've never used a sewing machine.
confession: i didn't know what a bobbin was until mr. leif explained it to me.

k. so this was tuesday night.
i have this amazing idea in my mind about these little purse/wallet/makeup bag thingies i wanna make.
and i wanted to send them out for mother's day gifts. by wed....or thurs at the latest.

now it is 9:36pm and i somehow got the metal thingy jammed down, the thing that makes the needle go up and down. (i need to learn my terms, yeah yeah yeah)

now it is 9:43pm i shrugg off mr leif's hand as he tries to rub my back, realizing how frustrated i'm getting with my singer SIMPLE.

now its 9:48pm i pout and throw a fit and go into the living room to watch tv and surf the web.

now its 10:something...and mr leif is at the table with the machine.
he has my metal thing unjammed, but now he too has run stuck with a thread issue.

by 10:40 we both say no more. done. we quit. {for now}

anyways.................my singer SIMPLE is still on my table, staring at me.
actually its probably laughing at me.

and i really just wanna drop kick it over my deck and into the river.

but.
i won't.

i'll figure it out.
and then i'll be makin my wallet/purse/makeup bag idea thingy like crazy.
i'll make millions.
and sell them.
and become rich.
and then i will stay at home with my babe.

.................i love dreams.