on saturday we got...

.....funnel cakes.
they were yummy.

we walked to the festival a few blocks away.

and devoured the greasy goodness.

and then we went out to get a cocktail.
well. mr. leif did, i had sprite.
he wouldn't be seen with this picture below, he thought it looked like a girly drink.

thou shalt not covet...

...a swimsuit model's bod.

ok people.

it's voting time.

well........its pretend voting time.

• mr. leif will choke when he sees the prices of these suckers
• so i doubt i will actually buy one
• but maybe....maybe i can convince him
• (wanna know my tactic? put on a current suit and watch his eyes pop in 'holy cow, that thing will never work' amazement, as he sees my volumptuousness jump out from ever angle.
• so vote anyways :)

HERE THEY ARE:

1. ALOHA!!!!

the Maternal America Palm Josie Halter Tankini -- $94.00

pro - holy cleavage! - mr. leif won't know what hit him!

con - holy cleavage! - i don't need other men staring there too....

other pro - top goes down and will hide any love handle-ish flab trying to peek out and say hi to the sun.

2. SUMMA SIZLIN!

the Maternal America Jenni Tankini -- $98.00

pros - sweet pattern, sweet colors, should hide the hooters

con - weird tan on the chest from the halter

3. SIMPLY PINK!

the Maternal America 1 Piece Keyhole Swimsuit -- $69.00

pros - simple, should promote good tan lines, should hide the hooters fairly well

cons - seems a bit high cut around the thighs.......my thighs are not my selling point these days- especially in the back :)

4. SHOW THAT BELLY GIRL!

the Maternal America Jill Boy Bikini -- $84.00

pros - cute pattern, provides for a tan belly, shorts will help hold the butt cheeks in

cons - my belly will be exposed.....weird for others maybe, but i don't think i will care??

other con - maybe not the most slenderizing suit - hhahahaha but who can find anything slenderizing when you are growin a babe inside!??!?

PS.

i think i wanna get bangs.

just like model above.

she's cute.

if any of my prego friends that read this wanna know how to get these suits,

click here!

k. now vote!

and then come to the pool with me this summer!

eeeeeeeek!

SUMMMER IS SO CLOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love me some sun.

the whopper.....

........am i ready for it?

when you're pregnant, there are the very obvious physical symptoms.
most of them you hear about years before you are even ready to be a mom.

but. you rarely hear about the emotional and psychological symptoms.
and i think those might have just as much, if not more, of an affect.

maybe becoming a counselor has caused me to over-analyze, over-think, and look deeply into most day to day situations. maybe that's whats going on.
whatever it is, i've been hit by the emotional/psychological pregnancy symptom truck.
its a big truck. and smack. it just t-boned me.

these aren't like mean wife/mean friend/mean coworker emotions.
no,
they are more like.......a sadness. a sadness that most people wouldn't see by looking at me.
i'm quite smiley and energetic these days, specially since my sickiness is gonzo :)

its inside, and its deep down.

i feel like i am mourning the end to the relationship that exists between mr leif and i.
i feel like what we have now, is going to be gone.
and it will come back.......when we are like 50, but it will be different. way different then now.

when you are with someone. just the two of you, for a long period of time, things get comfortable. and you begin to take that comfortableness for granted.

when we are lazy.

when we fall on the floor from laughter.

when we drive around for 30 minutes cuz we are bored and want to go scope out mansions that we will never own while stuffing our faces with ice cream.

when we watch naughty shows (ex:cougar town and kendra) and dont have to worry about little ears in the other room ;)

when we make fruit pizzas and eat them out of the pan.

heck, when we make any sort of dessert, and eat it straight out the pan. not even cutting rows.

when we make a list of the 39 things we need to do on a saturday, but then say 'screw it' and take naps and watch movies. even if the weather is nice for yard work. even if the house is a pit and screaming to be cleaned.

i just don't know if i am ready to say goodbye to those things.
i know. i know. all you amazing mothers out there are going to now think, and then say,
"oh, but when the baby comes you wouldn't have it any other way, its the most amazing feeling ever!!!"
and i know it will be. i don't doubt that one bit.
in fact, i am super de duper excited for it!!!!
but.
i haven't experienced it yet.
and because of this missing experience, im sad about losing what we have.

life is so weird, huh?
we go through stage after stage.
we think we are truly in the thick of it at 16 years old trying to study for a chemistry exam (oh wait, i didn't really do homework in high school, whoops) or at 18 when cramming for your first college final. or when you are trying to plan a wedding, or when you are going to interview for your first job. but those are all just practice for the big whoppers.
the big whoppers that come with being a mom.

my family is easy right now. its just mr. leif. and me.
in fact, its the easiest thing i do.
its not hard like school, not busy like work, not annoying like the guilt i feel when i don't work out.
to live as husband and wife is blissfully simple.
until the kid(s) come.

am i ready to experience minimal date nights?
hardly any time to talk, just me and him?
the simple ways of living on the fly, cuz there's no 'little life' that we are fully committed to?
stopping by tjmaxx for 10 minutes, but end up staying there for over an hour??

humph. i know its coming. and soon.

i'm trying to mentally and spiritually prepare.

its gonna be a whopper of change.

its gonna be the biggest whopper i've experience so far.

but.
until i am smacked in the face with the new life of a being a mom.
i'll soak up the fun stuff.
and i'll prepare for october.
and i'll pray.
that always helps too ;)

so i got this sewing machine for christmas.

on tuesday night, as i finished editing my last assignment of the semester, i decided to OPEN my sewing machine for the first time.

then, i drove, really fast, to hobby lobby.
cuz it was 8:43pm and they close at 9.

i was fortunate to receive some fabulous advice and suggestions from the lady in the fabric section.
she told me about the iron on stuff to make your fabric stiff.
so i bought some of that.
and now, check out these fabric beauties i bought too. fun summer colors, ey?!
then. by 9:15pm i set to work trying to figure out my sewing machine and trying to load up some thread.
confession: i've never threaded a needle.
confession: i've never used a sewing machine.
confession: i didn't know what a bobbin was until mr. leif explained it to me.

k. so this was tuesday night.
i have this amazing idea in my mind about these little purse/wallet/makeup bag thingies i wanna make.
and i wanted to send them out for mother's day gifts. by wed....or thurs at the latest.

now it is 9:36pm and i somehow got the metal thingy jammed down, the thing that makes the needle go up and down. (i need to learn my terms, yeah yeah yeah)

now it is 9:43pm i shrugg off mr leif's hand as he tries to rub my back, realizing how frustrated i'm getting with my singer SIMPLE.

now its 9:48pm i pout and throw a fit and go into the living room to watch tv and surf the web.

now its 10:something...and mr leif is at the table with the machine.
he has my metal thing unjammed, but now he too has run stuck with a thread issue.

by 10:40 we both say no more. done. we quit. {for now}

anyways.................my singer SIMPLE is still on my table, staring at me.
actually its probably laughing at me.

and i really just wanna drop kick it over my deck and into the river.

but.
i won't.

i'll figure it out.
and then i'll be makin my wallet/purse/makeup bag idea thingy like crazy.
i'll make millions.
and sell them.
and become rich.
and then i will stay at home with my babe.

.................i love dreams.

it's like i can breathe again.

almost as if i've been holding my breath for 10 months

almost as if i've been hiding under my blankets this whole time (well, i have been sometiems.... when there are weird noises from squirrels throwing nuts at each other on my roof)

my husband is home. i can breathe. and i can come out from under my blankets :) (duhhhh cuz now he will scare off those squirrels who are pretending to be bad guys on my roof)

i know i said i would blog over the weekend about this, my BIG 100th POST, but i've been soakin up the married life again.

as i look back on the year, i can see so much growth - for both of us.

but i can also see that God has clearly made each of us for the other.

he's my other half, and i need him around, and he's home :)

........and he brought me blueberry pancakes in bed today.

........and today we had a dr. appointment and the heartbeat is rompin!

here are some random shots from our friday night.

mr. leif got home really late and i felt super icky again.

but we went down to the plaza and hit up noodles n' co.

sorry bout the crappy celly pics. but look, we are right across from 'heaven on earth' ....anthro. just looking through their windows makes me smile.

snap! sorry mr. leif. you weren't really lookin ;)

these noodles were delish. and so was my izze drink. being it in a bottle and all, it kinda felt like a brewsky. ahhhhhhh. nice.

and then we went to hy-vee for some carbinated water for my tummy.

and mr. leif parked in this spot.

and i was embarassed.

so i pretended to waddle and i stuck out my stomache. jk.

...

wednesday is my last class. my semester will be over. i've thought a lot about this semester. it truly has been the hardest 4 months of my life so far. and i know there are so many more busy and hard times to come....

but, im so glad my 1st trimester is over, my 3 classes are over, my mr. is home, and there are only 13 more days left of my first year in being a school counselor.

ya know whats kinda cool?

i've been going to see my childhood friend luke for some chiropractic help. but its crazy. for the last 3 days i haven't had an ounce of pain. the pain that has been with me ever.single.day since november. the pain that has kept me up at night. the pain that has made me wanna bathe in icy hot for 3 hours a day. its GONE.

hmmmmm.........think i was just carrying some stress there in my upper right shoulder area? um yeah. i think so.

alright, i will quit rambling.....

but really, celebrate with me.

he's home. from his year away, he's home. praise GOD.

16 weeks.

i'm 16 weeks today. yay :)

last night i ran a 5K.......

..........in my dream.

no, seriously. like start to finish.

i even remember thinking,
"man i'm tired, but my butt is burning, and maybe its getting firmer, so i am going to push through it til the end"

at one time, i was running next to a girl i know (who's an avid exerciser) and i thought
"oh, im not gonna let her beat me" - so i kicked it in high gear.

when i was finished, i thought
"wow! this wasn't that bad, the whole running while pregnant thing, i need to do it more!"

then i woke up.
and realized, i didn't actually run.

hmmmmmmmm, was this crazy dream because my butt has grown just as much as my stomache? and it buggs me?
probably so.

seriously, i will never need a booty pop. mine is and always has been poppin. and i would like to give some of it away to help others pop theirs.

rather, i need this, well not right now cuz my belly is not gonna fit, but later, after im done with preg, when i still have my booty. POP!

and because i really need a laugh today, its only thursday, and i need it to be friday.......

should i get one of these for the babe and i??

i think mr. leif could totally sport it too?!?!

ps.

click here to view my school, washington elementary getting a visit from the KC Chief's D-Line.

if you watch closely, around minute 2:00, you can see me (aqua sweater and navy skirt), behind the kid who's jumproping, in the upper right corner of the video.

you can only see me for a brief moment but you will know its me cuz i start doin some gangsta dance while rappin to ludacris. cuz i wanted da brothas from da chiefs to know that mrs. leif knows whats up. that im all fly n stuff. yo yo yo........wussssssssup!!!!!!?

and mr. pence, our amazing pe teacher, and a fellow believer (its great to work with christians!!!) gets to speak on the video! go matt!!! (ps, i may or may not be trying to hook mr. leif and mr. pence up as friends, i think they would totally hit it off, and they've hung out a couple times so far, yayayay!!! - and mr. pence's fiancee is this cute little blonde that is fun, and is also a believer, and she likes wine. HELLO!!!! we totally need to be friends)

we've actually been in the news alot. for our annual Science Night and cuz we be sendin kids to Space Camp !!! its great to be workin at 'the WASH'...........but it does require lots of energy, whoooooooofta!

all of the sudden.......

.........it feels real.

today, when i got home there was a big envelope stuffed in my mailbox.....baby leif's first gift. rockn'roll!!!!!!!!!

it was from my bestie boo sam. i love her.

and i think she is just as excited about baby leif as i am, and as care is :)

anyways......

this semester has been crazy busy, and i live alone, and haven't seen my friends too much lately, so baby leif doesn't really get any attention - therefore - unless mr. leif is home sometimes it doesn't feel like there is really a baby coming!!!!!!!!!

that might sound weird, but im just really being honest.

my tum is totally showing, so its not that i dont look down and realize im preg.

ive felt so crappy, so its not like i dont feel preg.

but, it just hasn't hit me, until now.

until tonight.

when i opened this package.

eeeeeeeeek. baby leif's first outfit, and its so tiny!!!!!

i think i took a million pictures of it, because i was hopping around the house and squealling all alone.

with no one to share in my joy, i texted a bunch of pics to mr. leif.......

and then thought

"hmmm, i'll share it with my blog world" (whoever it is that reads this crazy thing!)

so.

here it is

i already have it planned out, if its a........

girl - she totally can wear some red or black leggings with it, or a skirt?

boy - he could sport a red beanie, and how bout some sweat bands?!? haaadee ha ha

well........i guess that it wasn't technically the babe's first gift. my momma did bring down this wittle wabbit for the babe's easter gift ;) awwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!

ok. thanks for helping me be excited :)

and thanks sammy, for being my dose of grace today. i needed it. i love you.

and thanks momma, for the wabbit. i love you too.

ewe's not fat.........

......ewe's fluffy.

on the first day of school, about 5 years ago, she wore a shirt.

it had a big fluffy lamb on the front.

it said, "ewe's not fat, ewe's fluffy"

and i laughed. and i loved. and she made my heart glad.

oh i missssssssss her!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ive got some massive heartburn, so i cant sleep, so im going through old pictures from my college days, and i found this of merriam

she was my FAVE. i was in her classroom during my junior year.

i wished it was longer.
teachers shouldn't have faves, but i did with her.

merry (i gave her that nickname) wore fancy church shoes to school and they would click down the hallway as she walked. her shoes didn't fit her very well, nor did they match her worn and sometimes dirty clothing, but she always fancied herself in cute shoes.

i miss merry.

i wish i could give her a squeeze. she loved to be hugged.

its what the french call.........

........a fry.

and i spotted it, shriveled up in my cup holder this morning on my way to work.
goodness, did i really order a large order of fries the other day.
yep.

glancing to the right i notice a noodles n co bag.
goodness, did i eat there again!?!?
double yep.

glancing even more to the right, i see 3 hotties joggin with their pony tail's floppin, and their toned legs movin. of course they also were sportin some cute pink shorts and a nice little workout top.
goodness, am i really feeling jealousy?
tripple yep.

i hate jealousy.
and when your pregnant its easy to be jealous, or at least it is for me.
im surrounded by tan little beauties, rockin some sweet summer swag. (i dont even know if that is the proper use of swag, but i had to use it, and in this instance, swag means clothes)

but never fear............because..........
"I lift up my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." Ps.121:1-2

and when jealousy strikes, i know that.........
"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." - Proverbs 14:30

interesting how each day is a struggle, huh!?
its ok though, each day is a new day, and remember.......today's struggles are for today. tomorrow's struggles will come tomorrow. and our Father gives us grace for each day.

good thing today's dosage of grace came through mr. leif.
he brought me lunch. hes home in KC today and tomorrow.
this week is not his last week away..............so next week will hopefully be, but his whole 'last week away' is ever-changing these days, ohhhh......the joys of his job (sarcasm) :)

heck,
at least its really challenging my patience,
and for the most part. im rockin' it. the whole being patient thing. BOOOOOOOOO-YAH.
and also.
i will totally take a 3 day week away over a 5 day week.

and
you wanna know what? (your supposed to say what). for lunch he brought me houlihans.
they made me a grilled cheese (cuz its the only thing that sounded edible),
and
you wann know what?
grilled cheeses aren't even on their menu. they just whipped it up in their kitchen for me.
so, that was totally a second shot of grace.
thanks God :)