a trip back home

home, home on the range.

where the deer and the toddler boys play.

literally.

 [roman and my cousin katie's son hudson]

we love going back home to nebraska.

i know i say it all the time, but we have beautiful, huge, amazing families.

they love us and support us and when we are back home it just feels so GOOD!

we love kansas city, but there's something about having your family love on your children.

it's bliss.

my mom and her sisters all live in the same little town of 1200 people.

so when we go back, we get to see so many aunties and cousins :)

i'm so happy that roman is starting to develop relationships with them.  

i have countless memories growing up with my cousins, i so badly desire that for him!

archer was the star of the show.

here he is just chillaxin on gma while we sip some wine :)

we had a bbq at my mom's house one night, and i dont think i saw the kid once.

he just got passed from one beautiful cousin to the next :)

 

roman didn't get left out either, i mean, the dude has his gma's wrapped around his finger.

every day he would wait by gma linda's window to see if his uncle cam would walk over after school!

it was the cutest little site to see.

he even got to help gpa kurt plant some corn

and sweet aunty cousin Vanessa chased him around for hours

i didn't really want to leave nebraska.

 i didn't want to come home to my strange new house.

i didn't want to be alone with my little boys.

i didn't think i could do it.

it was so easy to be back "home".

archer loved it......

romy loved it...

and i loved it.

and while we were there, this little dude turned one month! 

but, alas, home to KC we had to go.

and let me tell ya. it was quite the drive.

archer screamed a lot, 

so then roman screamed, "get me outta here!!!"  and "mom!! otcha's cryin!!!"

yikes.

it was a doozy.

but soon enough we were back home.

ready to take on a new month, welcome MAY!

and welcome foot massages.

so, what's up with romes?

well hi guys! so glad you asked....
mom's just uploaded a bunch of pictures from her cell phone, for your viewing pleasure, hehe :)

i like my slippers, yep i do. sometimes i wear them to take my naps in......and when mom comes to get me, she finds that one or both have fallen off during my nap, so she laughs and kisses my piggies!!

i still get swaddled for ever nap or sleeptime. i liked being wrapped up tight. but.......if i'm not wrapped tight enough, then......

walaaaa........i'm bustin' out yo! when i break out of my blanky, mom sings, "i want to break free'eee......i want to break free....." to me. then i giggle.

a couple nights ago i wiggled all the way over to my puppy.

mom saw me in action because her and dad were peeking on me for about 10 minutes watching me giggle at the animals in my bed!

oh. this hat? mom always puts it on me, and then takes a bajillion pictures.

i don't mind it.....i like me some fluffies :)

ahhhhh, yes. the hat. again. while i'm getting my diaper changed? come on mom!

yep, it's no lie. i'm a giggle monster. especially when i make eye contact with mom.......or whenever she makes her silly noises. i giggle at dad too, he likes to talk to me in a high pitched voice. hehehe

diaper head.

bath time? gettin' fresh for the babes, what's not to love?

ok.

happy monday.

i'm hoping this week flies by, i miss my mom when she's at work. is it summer break yet?

his baby book is empty...

yep. it is. and you know what? i don't know if it will ever get written in.

why is it that i hold myself to such a high standard?
why do i set the bar at an unreachable level?
why am i constently comparing myself to others?
why do i use the phrase "you should" when engaging in self-talk?

the baby book falls into this category.
from day one, actually before day one, i should have been filling it out...
writing down roman's firsts, the facts, all that good stuff.
but the truth? i haven't even opened it up, let alone documented any of his life inside it.

days have gone by, weeks, months actually. it's still blank. and i still tell myself i should have been writing in it, and i need to get it started.

ok... ok... then i started thinking.....
clearly, i'm not passionate about this babybook.
if i was, i totally would have been nose deep in it, updating the pages with every passing day of roman's existence....but i'm not. i haven't.
so why am i trying to get myself to do something that i obviously don't want to do?

if i'm not passionate about the baby book - why am i feeling so guilty for leaving it blank?

heck, i don't even know if i have a baby book (hi mom! do i have one?)

and since i like to self disclose practically anything about myself......i'll let you in on another 'downfall' i've recently realized.

back when i contemplated even getting a baby book, i thought, "oh i'll just update weekly on my blog" you know - roman updates.
that way, if/when i printed out my blog into a book or something of that sort, then i could have all of romy's little life documented.

welp. that's another big fat fail.
i can't keep up.
and i'm going to stop holding myself to the standard of where i think i should be.

instead?
instead, i'm going to soak up roman in the best form there is.

with snuggles, and hugs, and kisses, and of course some pictures here and there.......
because,
clearly, i don't have the desire, time, passion for baby books. (i mean he's almost 3 months already and i haven't had the drive to start it!!) OR to update his life via blog on a regular basis.
and that's OK.

i have it all in my mind.
all in my heart.
i won't forget any of his little new beginnings.

no, i may not have the exact date and time of his first coo. or his first smile. or his first blow out. or his first spit up. or the first time he peed on me. or the first time he pooped on mr leif. but i dont need to know the exacts. i just know they happened, and that's good enough for me.

so here's to releasing myself from the guilt.
here's to being OK with not saving hair from his first haircut.
and here's to that empty baby book.
heck, maybe i'll just regift it?!

"seriously, mom..."

"...enough with the camera." - littleRome

"but roman, i just want to capture every funny face you make" - me

"but, mom, seriously, it's killin me."

"...and, you're still snapping.

awesome."

"....yes, roman, i'm still snapping.

even if you stick your tongue out.

i'm gonna snap.

matter of fact, the sillier you get, the more i snap.

k? k."

"alright, fine, here's a little more normal pose, now will you stop?"

"oh what da heck, i'll even give you a smile."

"yep, i can get cheesy too."

"ahhhh MOM!!!!!!!!

stop the madness. seriously mom!!!

i mean, are you going to do this when i go to prom too?

please..........say no........"

"prom???? what!?!?!?"

"oh, i'm kidding mom, i love you the most, don't worry, i won't ever go to prom........or get a girlfriend.......or get married.

i'm yours forever."

"whewwwww, roman, good. that's more like it."

what do you mean, straight jacket?

oh, you don't know?

well.......little roman falls into the category of

FLAILING BABY.

it's not a bad thing, well kinda, but not really.

you see, his arms and legs are almost constantly moving around, and most of the time it's really out of his control.

he isn't intending to fling his limbs around like a crazy dude, he just does it. we used to think he didn't like to be swaddled, because he would break out of it.

nahhh. he was just wiggling underneath the swaddle, and our swaddle blankets were no match for this tough one.

so.

what do we do?

well, first i talk about my flailing baby with lots of moms, telling them that he wakes himself up all the time and i don't know what to do because he doesn't really mesh well with the basic swaddle........

then, i find one mom who has the secret, ah it's a miracle, literally. and she gave me her secret. its called a miracle blankie. aka - straight jacket.

now, poor roman, we borrowed this miracle blankie from a little girl, so he gets to wear PINK when he sleeps.

but just at night time.

because, as i mentioned in the post prior, his naps can often be swaddle free.......

alright. enough of all that blab.

here's the good stuff.

step one, trap his arms.

yep, each flap goes over his arms and then under his torso, making it only possible to break free if his body is lifted off the flaps. his own weight is trapping him in. sounds freaky?? sounds like something that you wouldN'T want to sleep in??

well, our romedog doesn't mind. infact, as soon as he's all trapped in his miracle blankie, he smiles and is usually pretty relaxed.

it truly is a miracle people.

and in a matter of minutes (most of the time)

he's ready to snooze.

you have a baby?!............

.........in a brewery??!!

yes. well, a matter-of-fact, we did.

pardon my double chin...it seems as if i've truly plateaud with this whole 'losing the baby weight....' where's that treadmill i need to buy?? must. workout. and. sooooon.

don't worry, romes wasn't the only one.

colette brought her babIES. (yep, she's packin two)

although, hers are still nestled in her warm belly :)

and......he slept. the entire time!

which was good.

i didn't need my 7 week old trying to sneak his first brewsky.

and thanks to my friend amy, she's borrowed out her bjorn.

it's been the perfect replacement, because i left my stroller in nebraska at thanksgiving.

bummmmmmer, dude.

our little family. i love it.

cheers to free beer on a saturday afternoon!

so happy our hubbies had such a great time......i mean, we did too, but there's just something about seeing your husband smile. i love it.

eeeeeeeeek!!!! seriously. her little boys could arrive any day now......

aren't day da cutest!?!

yep.

still sleepin.

and now........today, december 7, 2010, i'm grateful for:

1. colette and quinn. they're always up for a good time......even IF she's totally about to pop :)

2. the children in my neighborhood. they play in my backyard. even on our deck......and ya know, it's fun to have them roamin' around!

3. mr leif. he fixed our only cd player. yep, turns out i just switched the cords to the speakers. silly me.

snuggles...

...in my fluffly blankets.

when we were home for thanksgiving, i told my mom and sis that roman loves fluffy stuff. and i'm not sure they believed me, at first. however, as the days progressed....they began to see his relationship with fluffy blankets bloom, just as i pronounced to them. as strange as it sounds, this kid is in love. anything fluffly he snuggles way in and nestles his cheeks right up to.

i can give you an example.

just this morning, he was laying on this blanky after his playtime. i left to start unpacking, and just moments later walked back by him....

waaaa laahhh! he is all snuggled up. burrowed in like a little hibernating bunny. (do bunnies hibernate?)

goodness, roman! one must not stuff their face into the blanket! so i made a little clearing for him to breathe...

this one's a cutie. he's a loveable squishable nummy num num.