lately.

morning you tube videos of dump trucks // scaredy faces in the car wash // momma and baby giggles

cute little lunches with our new blue tray // finally making a basket // watchin dad dig

almost getting a new jeep at a garage sale, but then realizing it was 60 bucks, so we settled for a 50 cent airplane // stuffing our mouths with spaghetti // and more cute lunches with our blue tray.

deck days.

we are loving our deck these days :)

spending mornings, afternoons, and evenings in the great outdoors.

 hearing airplanes and helicopters, stopping to point at them in amazement.

{and trying to make an airplane sound with an incredibly cute lisp}

 sporting a shrek hairstyle after a nap, 

and pouting because he realized he threw most of his toys over the deck railing.

and quite frankly, he wants them back in his hands. NOW.

and watching a "mooowee" {movie}  which means lion king.

we watch about 5 minutes of lion king each day.

the previews, and then the very beginning of the movie.

and then he's done, onto something else.

probably throwing more stuff off the deck.

it's a rough life. HA!

oh these days are so good.

so sweet. i want to bottle them up so i can sip from them someday....

someday when my children are grown and out hanging with their friends.

it's then that i'll want reminisce of these days, and then that i'll want them to know how much we used to snuggle, build tents, and give kisses \

{and eat fingerfuls of whip cream.....because we can}

sometimes everything seems peachy.

something that the Lord has put on my heart this past year is transparency.

and, with blogging, and really, any social media, that can be difficult.
it's easy to hide behind the screens.  keep your life, or at least the ugly parts of your life, a secret.
only declare the good, right?
hmmm.

while blogging can have so many different purposes for each writer, for me it's a story of our life, mostly through my eyes, because i have declared myself the "matriarch of {family} memories".
but in leu of the transparency i mentioned a moment ago, i realize, how easy it is to get caught up in hiding the ugly.  trying to cover it up.  and, just portraying the good.

and, well,
if there's anything i want to promote about the life a believer, it would be that we struggle.
as christians, each day is a battle.  we get sucked in with temptations.
we think we want the american dream, too......or so it seems.
oh, beating heart.  be humbled.
less of me.
more of him.

....

tonight mr leif and i had one of those deep conversations.
the one where my words get going so quick with excitement, but just as soon as they race off in conversation they are haulted with thought.  we pondered on the calling, the life of a true believer.

what drives us?
is it the momentary happiness from new things, accomplishments, or recognition?
or is it proclaiming Christ, and living each day with joy, and with gratitude: knowing we can't make it on our own, but with the Grace our Father gives us.....to cover all the missing gaps.  {you know, the ones a house, or a car, a nap, a new pair of shoes, or the comfort of a 401K just can't fill....}
to raise our children, to know the Lord, and to know how badly they need his mercy and grace....
to give of our time, our money.  to walk with our friends through the dark times, bearing burdens as we are so lovingly called to do.  and to rejoice with them in their celebration.
it's finding the beauty amongst the ugly, and knowing, our treasures are in heaven.
it's recognizing that to be last, is first.

....

so then i come, again, to this halting point with blogging.
do i post pictures, and ramble on about our little life?
do i make it look so peachy perfect?
do i want my children to page back through, and think we had it "all together"?
no,
not really.
not at all.

i want them to see i struggled.  that momma didn't have it all together.
she tried, but in the end, there were always gaps.  gaps to be filled by jesus and his grace.
i want my children to know of his amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me,

i want you to see that i struggle.  that our home isn't always filled with laughter, hugs, sparkles, and glitter.  i want you to know things like, when i plugged this computer in tonight to blog, i shocked my finger and said a not very nice word.
we try hard, and we fail hard.
and we keep trying.
and if i can reveal to you anything, i hope....with my whole heart, it's that you need jesus to fulfill the longing that nothing else can, to calm your heart, to balm your soul.

....

and because, remember? i AM the matriarch of memories for my family, i'll end with a recap of photos.
asking you to see beyond them and know that it's not always peachy in our home,
but at the end of the day, we come before king........so grateful for another start tomorrow.

oh, and one more thing.  did you know that snuggling with your children is next to indescribable?
so is smooching, tickling, and seeing their face light up when they get a $2 bus from a garage sale.
i LOVE being a mommy :)

the little things.

things are heating back up in the midwest again :)

but i can't complain. 

for some reason.... i'm like a moth to the streetlight when it comes to being in the sun.

my mom is in town this week :)

isn't it awesome how the Lord totally knows what you need, when you need it?

she is a blessing tenfold when she comes to visit.

let me explain,

this morning i was out the door by 8:50, WITHOUT MY CHILD.....

i spent the first 13 blocks of the drive listening to zacchaeus was a wee little man,

but by block 14?  i was jamming out to jj heller.  WITH a smile on my face.

the times that i get to attend bible study, meetings, etc...without romes in tow or going through the {strangely annoying process} of finding a babysitter.....are close to nonexistent.

but today?  

when i backed out of the driveway, realizing i didn't have to leave 38 posty notes with instructions on how to keep my child alive, because my mom just knows what to do with him and when?

it was glorious.

so i was off,

me and my rickety old toms.

"it's the little things" 

it's just so true.

it's the little glimpses of grace that get us through our day.

we simply can not get enough of "utssssside"

romy begs for it 48 times a day, and i typically oblige.

i mean why not? mr leif trapped both exits of the deck, so roman can't escape.

this way, i can actually wash a dish or too with him busy and not playing koala bear on my leg.

so as any other afternoon would have it,

we spent it outside, with grammy :)

and, i'm a bit of a happy girl.

because tonight my love and i slipped away {for like 20 minutes} on a date.

i mean it was quite romantic.

we stopped by three rock/stone places.

we're totes gonna bust out a sweet backyard.

we'll be roastin mellows in no time.

oh it's the little things, like dates to rock stores, that keep your marriage hoppin.

a weekend.

home depot. deck time. bbqs with friends. it was one of those really good weekends. {with a side of screaming kid, unexplainably, multiple times} ............but there's no need to dwell on the negative :)

family trips to home depot + dreaming about new deck furniture. water table + working in the yard with dad. snuggling with mom + {after crying for over an hour causing us to miss church}. romy sharing his special little people with sam, bram, and asher + pinterest strawberry recipe to share with friends.