cheap love

yeah i know, risky title.

but let me explain...

a few years ago, mr leif and i spent time hoppin around from places like chicago, to florida, to jamaica, to puerto rico.
we'd fancy ourselves with fun happy hours down on the plaza quite frequently.
we'd join sand volleyball leagues, and we were over at the siner's {hi colette!} at least once a week for a dinner and some wine.
things were fun.  things were easy.  things were good.

[fyi, obvi it wasn't all perfect.  i mean, throw in both of us working long hours, me going back to grad school, and him working in st louis for almost a year.   and, also the fact that life isn't perfect.  never ever.   it's not easy.  sin always finds a way to creep in.  

even then in our easy days, there was jealousy, exhaustion, boredom, discontentment.  and i could go on.]

but i'm learning the secret to happiness. to contentment. {less of me, and more of HIM}

where was Jesus in all of that.  where was the gospel.  and what of all that was for his glory?

yes.  the trips were fun.  [MAN were they FUN!!!] 

and yes.  we had a great time together going out, playing on teams, hanging with friends.

but, social life can be a black hole for me.  always sucking me in further.

i always want more.  

more trips. more friends. more events. 

and,

none of them, if they aren't centered around His truths, fulfill me.

{less of me, more of HIM}

there are still times now, in our new life as parents, that we crave the old days.

as our anniversary comes up in a couple weeks, once upon a time we had planned to go to the dominican, next.  or maybe back to chicago.  maybe a roadtrip to the coast?

and, theres a ginormous part of us that wishes we could just hop on a plane and go.  like we once did.

and as easy as i tell myself those things won't fulfill me.  or us. or our marriage, i can easily tell myself they will.  i go back and forth.  i try to keep focused.  but i'm so easily swayed.

i'm so thankful.  so grateful for the Lord's grace.

it fills the gaps of discontentment.  it fills the gaps of jealousy.  and it fills the gaps of wanting more.

the gospel of grace is enough.  more than enough.

it overflows me.

and i'm thankful for our community here in kansas city.  our friends and our church.
they fill our gaps too.

...

i've been joining in with this amazing movement [just.one.more.awesome.interweb.idea]:

and, our passage for this morning was perfect.  just what i needed.

which doesn't surprise.  the Lord always knows what we need from His word.  and he takes us there:

“But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.” I Timothy 6:11

...

but back to my title.

cheap love.

mr leif and i are having fun substituting our international vaca's and weeknight hotspots for a new kind of fun.  and it's JUST as good.  trust.

...

sometimes, it's just in the form of little lovetankfillers.  

donuts, for one, is a cheap way to my heart.

it's convo and coffee, by the firepit.

and it's impromptu lunch dates at home, in the backyard, a walkin through the creek. 

it's quick makeup applications, so he continues to fall in love with those ruby lips,

and it's sippin on a brewsky together.  [we have a hankering for mexi beers :)]

......HA!
a couple years ago, i would have said BORING to all of those things.
but it's so beautiful, how the Lord works in your heart.
He helps you learn how to be still.  slow down.  and appreciate what He's given you.
and it's right there in front of you.

yes.  we still dream to someday pick up traveling again.
we have hopes to go to europe, wine country, nyc, and the dominican.
but it may never happen and that's ok.
there's a glorious final destination waiting and i can't imagine anywhere more beautiful to explore.

...

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

it's summer.

what is it about summer?  it makes me all giddy.
to me, if summer had a synonym, it would be fun.

as a little girl, summer meant duty lists from my momma {which i completed in record time so i could go play, play, play!} and hours outside with the neighbors.
it meant trips into town to swim, and sleepovers with the cousins.
it meant bible school and manna camp.  it meant softball and swim lessons.

and, then i started growing up.  and it transformed into summer jobs, sports camps, bonfires and church camp. and it meant lazy days sleeping in, and late nights out with friends.

and then, i became an adult.  and got married and got a real job.
but, i had summer off.  so, it meant teaching summer school in the mornings and afternoons by the pool.
trips to see my sis, and visits back home to nebraska.
it meant bbqs with friends. and romantic gettaways for mr leif and i.

and now.  now?
well. it's evolved again.
here's a little taste :)

we wash the car. like, almost every day.

and we get to be lazy bums, just chillin on moms.

 

 and it means we walk to the fire station.  and look at the trucks.  

and we roman sits outside, naked, and pees on mom's chair. 

 it means daytime baths, and then we put on our jammies for naptime, and read truck books too.

and once in a while, we take naps without clothes on because, well, it's hot.

 and sometimes romes gets to pick out his clothes 

{backhoe shirt, swimtrunks, boots and his papa....papa means hat, his papas wear hats, and he has rad association skills}

and other times? he's just plain ole nakey.

[dang, he's nakes a lot]

 it's pancakes in the backyard.

and salad's in da kitchen.

and it means we go on lots and lots of walks.

so, obvi, lots and lots of popsicles.

ahhhh, summer.  you so goooooooood.

thebabyfever.

romes has been totin around the "baby"

all. day. long.

it's sooooooooooo cute.

 and, well,

 how can i NOT have baby fever?

oh romesters, praying the Lord would bless us with lots and lots more babies.

[in his time!]

memorial weeeeeeekend.

since i'm blowin up y'alls instagram feeds, i feel the need to use those cute little squared photos as good juju for the blog.
{sidenote: i don't believe in magic, i just like the word juju}
i mean, why haul around the big ole camera when you can just slip out the phone that's totes in your back pocket, already?
easypeasy? yes.
so, little square photos it is.  instgramforlife.

why don't people take more staycations? having mr leif around for the extra day was amazeness.

one family trip to the crown center, and it was like we renewed our vows. [not really, but kinda]

sometimes, the business of life starts to unravel what was once bound together so tightly.

it's so good when a little extra time together as a family, can intertwine you back up.  all snug again.

 it was also nummy for our tummies [greasycheeseburgerlunch]

and sufficient for our vitamin D levels [lots of sunshine on the skin].

little romes and mrleif were scopin out their plan of attack.

which went something like this:

daddy: romy, run fast into the water.  and do what the big kids are doing.

romes: ok dadda, ok.

and, that's just what he did.

the crown center fountains = romes' itty piece of heaven

{dad only had to rescue him once from the middle of the fountains, where romes was 'lost'}

and, we also had a wedding :)

my two high school besties came to stay with us for the wedding.  

our forth amigo got married.

and, there are really no words.

cutest wedding ever.

just look at this little snippet of their background:

totes adorbs. alldaway.

just in case you wanna know.

sometimes my hair gets caught stuck sandwiched in my armpit.  i know.  gross. 

its at that length....that when i wear tank tops [all.the.time.in.this.hot.weather] it just gets caught. 

but really, i go to move my head in a particular direction, and my hair gets yanked.  

yes, i know. it IS gross.  but what do i do? wear pigtails every day?

sometimes i like to let romes air out.  you know [go diaper-less].

the other day he went both number one, and number two. right on our new flagstone pathway.

marking his territory?

sometimes i'm not too *awesome* in the homemaker department.

not only has mr leif been helping out with the meal planning,

but he even whips up most a few of the dinners.

and subsequently, i continue to fall madly in love with him.

sometimes, my child loves to choose the most awesomest places to go to the bathroom.

why oh why did the payless shoe sales lady try and sell me colorful shoe laces?

when clearly, we needed to make a fast exit after buying romes his fake crocs.  

no, no sparkly laces ma'am. 

my child needs a fresh dipe.  we gotta go. pronto. 

sometimes i stink at planning out our errands. 

the other morning we arrived at costco 30 minutes before they opened.  

party in the backseat!? yes. most def.

[molly, don't even go to the carwash story.  don't do it] {smooch?!}

but really.  we had movies, trucks, truck books, and goldfish.

hotdang. what more could a toddler boy need?

sometimes, i'm really lazy in the mornings and don't even feel like making breakfast.

then we walk to hyvee and get a $1.69 pancake, with a  <$1 egg and a <$1 sausage.  

diggitydog.  now that's some cheap "homecookin"

if i do say so myself.

plus, there's all sorts of nice elderly folks there.  and they love on roman.

[who often times is still in his pjs]

[and i might still be in my pjs too]

actually, yes, most likely, we are both still in our pjs.

oh dear.  and i guess sometimes we go to mcdonals to get their oatmeal.

not as often as hyvee.

but still once in a while.

what the what?  i know, i know.  

i should be making nice little breakfasts at home.

but sometimes there's days weeks that just need a little boost.

but really, life is good. isn't it?  God is so faithful.  even during the long weeks.

He's there.  ready to rescue with grace.  

grace. sometimes it's in the form of hyvee pancakes.

and sometimes? in the form of my little love, handing me a rock, saying "here momma"

a continual prayer of mine is that i might learn to "be still".....it sort of goes against my internal grain.

it seems that when we're still, when we slow down, things click.  

it's then that we can truly seek His will, and see His will revealed.  

and, it's beautiful.

19 months old [he's closer to 2 than 1; hold me]

lately, my eyes are so hungry for the sight of my little boy.

it's like bottomless mac and cheese.  i can't get enough.

literally, i could stare at him all day.  

i watch him, his movements, his hands, the way he plays, how he walks, runs and hops

 i listen to his noises, his fascination in mimicking everything he hears in the great outdoors.

 i giggle at his words. so precious, so ripe.  he will try to say anything i ask him to, and he does it with confidence.

 i'm in awe at his abilities.  the natural way his little body grows, stretches, bends, and moves.  

he constantly reminds me of the wonder of our Creator, the Lord created this!  my child! and look, isn't he adorable?  the way his fingers curl up into fists, and his little feet that point inward!  the way his eyes light up at the sight of any truck, and his mouth says "oh!" when he hears an airplane.  the way he scrunches his face when he smiles, and how he laughs when he toots. 

 it's all so good. so very very good.

thank you Jesus, for giving us the gift of children.  they're a wonderment to my imagination.  

  oh romes, you've become my little best friend.  we spend every waking moment together, i know your every move.
the signs that tell me you're sleepy, and when you need a snack.  

or how your cheeks get rosy when you're hot. 

 i know every momma says it, and i'll say it too.

i wish i could freeze time.

right here.

little boys have this zest for life

no wonder Jesus said, let the little children come to ME.....
He too could see their excitement, their energy, their eagerness.

 i study you up and down, i know how you intensely search for your owies on your knee,
just so you can point and say "owie, owie".  

and your obsession with dumptrucks "dumper".... cement trucks "men mut"..... and back hoes "bab bee"

 your infatuation with trains "choo choo"...... and sticks "thick" ......and shoes "sooooz"

the way you examine my face, saying eyes, and nose, and mouth "mous"

 these days are so good. they are a blessing over and over again.

 oh my child, sometimes i don't think being your mother could get any better, and then, tomorrow comes, and it does.

...

O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

i praise YOU because i am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
i know them full well!

good stuff.

sometimes there's those moments, those hours, and sometimes even whole days, where everything goes quite smooth.
when that happens.  it's a bit blissful.

saturday morning, bright and early, we were off on a little walk.

daddy said, "donuts", so romes and i sprinted out of the house like the jamaican rockstar, bolt.

we never pass on opportunities for a donut breakfast.  even if it's only 7am.

...

a quick change of clothes, and it was go time.

the little guy thinks he needs to work on the fire pit every. single. day.

obvi he knows his dad is quite the stud, and wants to be just like him.  i'll encourage it.

so, each morning when he bangs on the door saying "utttside uttttside"

i open up the patio door, and little bolt heads out do to work.

he gets his shovel and starts scooping up little bits of dirt, sand, and rocks.

and then, for some reason, he carries them over to us, and dumps them on our feet.

and laughs.

he's pretty awesome like that.

...

the pit needed some seating and i like colorful things, so we found some bright blue chairs.

perfect for lounging, or a perfect place for roman to dump his dirt piles.  it's a win/win.

and you wouldn't believe it, as we were in the check out line, the little master mind himself pulled a fast one on us.

i happened to glance over at the candy shelves {who doesn't?} and noticed a pacifier sitting in the m&m slot.  so naturally, i walked over, and investigated.  sure enough, it belonged to romy.

i turned around to see roman up with dad at the counter, trying to open a bag of m&m's.

the kid's a genius.  it was a logical trade for him: i give you my paci, i get the chocolate.

...

if i was given thirty six thousand cans of spray paint, i still wouldn't run out of things to paint.

spraypainting stuff, for me, is as good as a whole tub of dolce de leche haagen dazs.

not sure how long these flowers will hold up without any holes in the bottom of the jars.

but i'm givin' it a whirl.

for now, they're stayin strong, and lookin gooooooooood.

...

 and mr leif?  he's got a soft spot for spray paint too.

we were sprayin things left and right on saturday morning.

old nasty plastic flower pot, bam!

grungy rusty plant stand, wam!

ugly beige outdoor table, zam!

complete bliss......... complete donut/colorfulchair/flowery/spraypaintin bliss.