our home.

our house is for sale.

actually, it's been for sale since october.  for 4 months.

we're staying in kansas city.  we're just praying and pursuing a different home.  

one with more room to expand our family.  and one that is a tad closer to our church family.

yes, we're the geniuses that put our house on the market right when winter strikes and the house-sale market slows way down.  but we're also the proud parents bringing in a wee little baby in march, and thought, we better try now, before things get cray cray up in herrrrrrrr.  and before we try and stuff the two kids into the same room :)  sleeping nightmare?  could be.  but hey, it could also totally work!

...

i wasn't going to write about it on here, and maybe just announce it later when we ended up moving.

but you know what? this has been such a process for my heart, for my contentment in the unknown, for releasing control, and....i want to document this part of our life

i want to look back and read about this season, and remember.

i want to remember the hard days of having a messy house, a fussy toddler, and a being sick or tired pregnant mom rushing around trying to pick up so someone can come look at the house.  sometimes happening three times a week. 

i want to remember the process of working on our budget as we look to our next potential home, whatever the size, wherever the location, as a gift from the Lord, and not as something we're entitled to because we live in America, and because we work, and because we think we deserve a nice home.

i want to remember how the Lord has humbled me as i fed myself lies, telling myself, i need more closet space so that mr leif doesn't have to hang his clothes in the living room, or a another bathroom, or a place for our guests to sleep other than the couch, 

when really, we have all we need.

He always supplies, ALL that we need.

so i'm going to write about it today, while we're smack in the middle, while we don't know the outcome.  we'll look back in a year, and see where the Lord has taken our family.  we know it could mean a different home.  or, we know it could mean being right where he already has us.  He is good, and He is the mastermind behind our little life, we are trusting in his timing.

...

so. you can't tell from this picture below, because i hid the sign, but this beautiful little home went on the market last fall.  we've had over 30 showings, sometimes 3 a week,  and still, the Lord has not provided a buyer.  and that is ok.

deep down, we don't really want to leave our home.

we've spent almost 5 years here.

so much love and hard work has been poured into this little house, to make it our home...

mr leif has spent countless hours building things, remodeling things, and keeping up with all the maintanence that a home built in 1949 requires.

and, even more dear to our hearts, it's where lots, and lots, and lots of memories have been made here.

it's where we started our family and it's where i braved the scary first years of becoming a momma :) 

it's within these walls, that our marriage has grown, we've taken our bff status to a whole new level.

and, it's where we've had longggg discussions, on how we will possibly make ends meet this month, just to follow them up with prayers of thanksgiving the following month, as we've seen the Lord meet our needs so faithfully.

it's where we've taken on big projects, and squeezed them into our budget, and it's where a daddy and son relationship has bloomed into a beautiful gift :)

it's where we've celebrated life, and it's where prayers have been answered :)

and, it's where we've been blessed to be surrounded with creation :)

but, we're open to moving.  we're praying.  and pursuing.

we live about 30 minutes from the majority of our church family.

 and as our family expands, i've realized how much i am leaning on them for support, for friendship, for my social life, for fellowship :)  we don't have any family around, so they are IT, they are our family.  and we long to be closer. hauling two little kids around the city isn't always the most convenient, or gas-friendly!  living near them would be a gift.

and yes. some more space would be nice.  not necessary, but nice. more space would be a gift.

could we make it work here in this little home forever? yes!

can we continue to fill this home with children and love and good times?  you betcha!

i think about all those apartment dwellers in NYC, they squeeze their little fams right in!

we're trying to take things one day at a time, but sometimes, this house on the market thing is just plain exhausting!  

especially with a wild, messy, toddler and a preggo momma, and NO family around to lean on.

on any given moment of the day, my house looks like this in almost every room:

and then, we get a phone call and are notified of a showing at such and such a time.  so then, i race around cleaning up, and roman races around tearing things apart.  we do a quick wipe down, lay out fresh towels, vacuum up a bit, and rush out in the nick of time.  sometimes, the showings are during meal time.  this isn't too budget friendly, because most of the time we've ended up needing to eat out.

romy doesn't mind though :)

but sometimes?  sometimes the showing is smack dab in the middle of his naptime.  actually a lot of the time.  so then i have pick up the house with a cranky kid, and then drive around while he sleeps, and pray that i can transfer him in to continue his nap after the hour has passed and we return home.

and then i realize... 

those are SO first world "problems."

it's a heart check, every single day.

am i pursuing control, or contentment.

and pretty soon, we'll have a baby.  so who knows, maybe we'll just stay here for a while longer.

maybe we'll be moving right when the baby comes. HA!  maybe we'll move this summer? maybe we'll wait a couple more years?   maybe maybe, baby.  it's limbo.

and it's trying to drive me crazy, but i'm not letting it.

paul tells us in philippians 4.7 that the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds...and then in verse 8, he tells us to meditate on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.
no where does it say to worry.

i repeat to myself, all day long,
"fix my eyes on things above, look to the heavens, where my heart is-there will be my treasure also"
over and over.

i want to share with you a quote that is helping me work through this season and my battle to want control ALL.OF.THE.THINGS. on my own:

‎"When a woman has a kingdom heart, she has an active understanding of what matters most to the heart of God. She lives in the balance of passion and contentment. She learns to love well, give without regard to self, and forgive without hesitation. The woman with a kingdom heart may have a duffel bag full of possessions or enough treasures to fill a mansion, but she has learned to hold them with an open hand. Hold everything with open hands. I don't think we are ever allowed to grab hold of anything or anyone as though they matter more than the kingdom of heaven. When you hold your dreams with open hands, you get to watch God resurrect what seemed dead and multiply what seemed small." 
- - - from the book "A Beautiful Offering", by Angela Thomas {an awesome book!}

love well.
give without regards to self.
forgive without hesitation.
hold whatever possessions i have with an open hand.
pursue a kingdom heart.
amen.

hang that rack.

so, about 5 years ago, we lived in an apartment.

sometimes i dumpster dived found awesome treasures in the apartment's parking lot.

this, was one of those awesome treasures.

it was a plain ole wine rack.  just dying to be filled up with bottles of grapey goodness.

and begging to whitewashed, errrr covered slopily with white paint.

but. as any homekeeper would have it, the less one has to clean around/under the better.

so.  cute little wine rack, perched in the corner was

a) collecting way too many dust bunnies in between its rungs

and b) annoying to move so it typically sat there and didn't get cleaned under/around.

and thus, i said, "mr leif. hang that sucker!"

and he did.

[i heart him a ton]

so now, i give you, the hanging wine rack.

with sadly, only 4 bottles of wine.  

i must get to trader joes and buy more cheap wine.

...

now, onto more crafty goodness:

who doesn't like a fresh pallet, just waiting to be attacked with my diy hands.

i do! i do!  gimme some of dat.

[i'm sure i'll post a picture of my wood pallet creation....in like 4 months when i actually complete it]

good stuff.

sometimes there's those moments, those hours, and sometimes even whole days, where everything goes quite smooth.
when that happens.  it's a bit blissful.

saturday morning, bright and early, we were off on a little walk.

daddy said, "donuts", so romes and i sprinted out of the house like the jamaican rockstar, bolt.

we never pass on opportunities for a donut breakfast.  even if it's only 7am.

...

a quick change of clothes, and it was go time.

the little guy thinks he needs to work on the fire pit every. single. day.

obvi he knows his dad is quite the stud, and wants to be just like him.  i'll encourage it.

so, each morning when he bangs on the door saying "utttside uttttside"

i open up the patio door, and little bolt heads out do to work.

he gets his shovel and starts scooping up little bits of dirt, sand, and rocks.

and then, for some reason, he carries them over to us, and dumps them on our feet.

and laughs.

he's pretty awesome like that.

...

the pit needed some seating and i like colorful things, so we found some bright blue chairs.

perfect for lounging, or a perfect place for roman to dump his dirt piles.  it's a win/win.

and you wouldn't believe it, as we were in the check out line, the little master mind himself pulled a fast one on us.

i happened to glance over at the candy shelves {who doesn't?} and noticed a pacifier sitting in the m&m slot.  so naturally, i walked over, and investigated.  sure enough, it belonged to romy.

i turned around to see roman up with dad at the counter, trying to open a bag of m&m's.

the kid's a genius.  it was a logical trade for him: i give you my paci, i get the chocolate.

...

if i was given thirty six thousand cans of spray paint, i still wouldn't run out of things to paint.

spraypainting stuff, for me, is as good as a whole tub of dolce de leche haagen dazs.

not sure how long these flowers will hold up without any holes in the bottom of the jars.

but i'm givin' it a whirl.

for now, they're stayin strong, and lookin gooooooooood.

...

 and mr leif?  he's got a soft spot for spray paint too.

we were sprayin things left and right on saturday morning.

old nasty plastic flower pot, bam!

grungy rusty plant stand, wam!

ugly beige outdoor table, zam!

complete bliss......... complete donut/colorfulchair/flowery/spraypaintin bliss.

fire in the pit.

we're ALMOST finished with our backyard "project"

i like to think up projects, i've mentioned this before.

this has seriously taken some teamwork.

from day one.

teamwork:

while the two of them say, "it's go time"?

one momma says, "start diggin boys!"

teamwork:

one works, one looks on with approval

teamwork:
while one sleeps?

two enjoy the fire :)

teamwork:

while one momma sunbathes?

one little boy stops to check progress.

teamwork:
while one little boy eats sand?

one momma takes photos of him.

teamwork:
while one little boy digs just like "dada"?

one momma sunbathes, again.

and, more teamwork:

while one little boy jumps from rock to rock?

one momma winces with each hop, thinking he'll surely get hurt.

{nope, he's a tough dude}

well, there you have it.

progress is happenin so fast it's like roastin a marshmellow.

one moment your sittin there all nice a cozy roasting your mellow,

and the next moment its on flames, done. done. done.

yep. by tomorrow {mr leif says} this bad boy will be complete.

and tomorrow, i'll post a FINISHED photo :)
i might even have mr leif pose with a shovel.
because that's probs the cool thing to do.
and, well, we're cool.

he says he's gonna put an add on craigslist "you can have this done to your backyard for $4,000"
any takers?  come on!  help support our travel to europe fund!
or is it our buy a new truck for mr leif fund?!
or maybe it's just our let's just meet our needs fund.
yep, i think it's the last one.
#contentmentisabeautifulthing.
{but we can dream, right?}

...

UPDATE!

and, i just fell in love with mr leif all over again :)

boy stuff: you know..... dirt, rocks, & buildin stuff.

hi guys.

so, i've been busy this week.

you know,yard stuff.

diggin, waterin, plantin, building stuff.

guy stuff.

i got a little sweaty {and just a tad dirty},

but like any man would do, i just cooled off with the hose.

no bath needed for me, ok mom?

just a man and his hose.

while i was busy diggin, waterin, and building stuff {aka:throwing rocks off the deck} my dad was workin too.

he's makin a fire pit and supposedly we're gonna roast marshmellows and stuff.

but we'll see.

i think mom and dad just wanna put me to bed and stare romantically into each other's eyes next to a fire......

you know, mushy stuff.

oh and guess what?  today, mom got pretty mad when she was working outside.

she tried filling the wheel barrel up with way toooo much dirt, and then it fell over.

and then she had to pick it all back up with a shovel.

i didn't see it happen though, i was with grammy at hobby lobby gettin some stuff.

but she told us when we got back.

jus doin work

:)

sunday. hallelujah.

roman is nose deep with a stuffy stuffy cold. so he and dad stayed home from church. it's weird to drive without roman. i usually make it about halfway to my destination listening to kiddie tunes before i realize it. ... i usually go first to teach sunday school, and then my boys meet me for church :) but today, i sat alone. and it was weird. and it was good. i was able to give full attention. normally, i'm wrangling my toddler to sit still or normally, i'm wondering how he is doing in the nursery. but today? full focus. what is it about being recharged for the week? it's so good to get fueled up again. ... i remember when i was little my mom used to say, if she missed church it was like something in her week was missing. i didn't get it. i could have easily skipped right over the church part and got straight to the "hang out at my grandmas with all my cousins" like we did every sunday after church as a child. but now? i get it. thank you HolySpirit for working in me. ... but as it goes, on my way home, a few ideas such as: "i should go get lunch in peace!" or "i should browse the mall!" or "maybe i should walk around homegoods now that romy isn't with me for once!" sparked into my mind. they came bursting forth like little kernels of popcorn. but they weren't carried out into action. something is so weird about this motherhood gig. even though it was just 9:15-12:15, even though it was just three hours. i was dying to get home to see my boys. spending time with them just means more to me these days, than drooling at anthropologie. yeah, i know. it's crazy. but its good crazy. ... besides, i came home to little snotty nose {literally} and his dad, both in good moods, and ready to plan our backyard firepit project. it's what we do, mr leif and i. we dream up projects. we {he} map them out. we {he} draw up plans. and then usually only carry about 50% of them out. but this one? it's happenin. {maybe} no, for real, it is. {i think} we like to dream. it's fun, you should try it :)

working on our guest room...

i've been trying to transform what is an over packed, awkwardly shaped storage room/guest room/office.........into a more organized and logical, quaint storage room/guest room/office.

here's a peek, for now.

and, remember this table that was redone a couple weeks ago?

it's in there too :)

i suppose i will post the finished room, once it's complete........ and, well.....that could be a while :)

how did i not know we had an electric sander?

i'm a sucker for garage sales.

when thursday roles around during summer, street corners are filled with garage sale signs.

but, you've got to be picky.

so, i typically hit up the nice neighborhoods.

those are the houses that buy way too many clothes for their kids, thus resulting in none of them being very worn out, thus resulting in me buying them for romes.

babygap galore. because babygap is like the walmart for rich people when it comes to buying their kids' clothes. and it also happens to be my favorite style of boys clothes out there :)

(other than mini boden....but when i walk by that at nordstroms, my wallet instantly puts a padlock around itself, mr leif's orders)

however.

when you are looking for a fun furniture project?

don't go to them.

go the opposite direction.

you want something sort of old-looking, and you want to spend notverymuch money on it.

i bring you this end table.

it was being sold for $20, I got it for $10 :)

solid, not a scratch on it, sturdy, drawer works great!
but, it's been in my garage for a month now, because i've been dreading the sanding process.

so this weekend, on saturday,

i finally went out and bought some sort of spraypaint that claims there is no sanding or priming needed.

i get home, all pumped to attack this table......

and mr leif proudly declares, "we have an electric sander you could just use. it will only take a couple minutes to get the top layer off"

well heck, yah, mr leif!

i'm in.

turns out, i took out any frustrations of the day, errrrr, week on the sanding portion of the project and just sanded the crap outta this thing.

no top layer only for this girl.

i was sanding for a good 20 minutes or so :)

next up, i went to town with the spray paint.

i could have just painted it with regular paint and a brush, i suppose.

but....i already had bought the spray paint.

so that was step one on saturday.

sand, and wipe off = 30 minutes

paint = 15 minutes

...

sunday afternoon came.

and i was very pleased with how things were rolling along.

however, we were not pleased with our current drainage issue in the kitchen sink.

so, i was off to home depot to kill two birds, with one stone...how cliche, i know.

cute knobs, that mr leif said home depot sells, and drain stuff.

i wanted something colorful, but not too bright.

something that was in the blues/greens/yellows....

for the knobs.

drain stuff? check!

knobs? no. nothing other than plain nasty silver, gold, metallic, chromish ones at the depot.

hmmmph.

so.....it just happens to be that anthro is less then 10 minutes from my house.

needless to say, i took the "long way" home and quickly stopped there to pick up these cute knobbies :)

and.........wallah!

here it is!!

and last night, while i was rearranging our guest room, i came across this cute little guy that came with an etsy purchase i made almost two years ago.

so now our guests will have a nifty little table with a sweet little quote on top.

now.....don't all jump at once, but WHO WANTS TO COME VISIT, AND STAY IN OUR GUEST ROOM?!?!

this weekend is booked already :)

yep.

she's comin to town :)