seriously...

...thankyou.

ya know, i used to watch the notebook, just so i could cry. i like to cry. it makes me feel good. of course, i was envisioning me as ally and mr. leif as noah and that we would die together in the same bed when we are like 90. so it was happy cries. but really. i do like to cry. i feel better after a good cry.
ok.
enough about crying....
well, just one more thing.

you guys kinda stepped in as my new 'notebook' this week
wanna know why?

well. after my sad post earlier this week. ive checked and i received 7 comments. eeeeeeek thats the most i have ever received. and every time i read your comments, i cry. but its a good cry, it makes me feel good afterwards. you see, i treat this blog as a journal. because if i don't write....i will start talking to my laundry. yep i did that about a month into mr. leif's project. i talked to the laundry and then to the fridge. but now i journal. and sometimes the journal writes back (that would be you) and that is so lovely. so thank you for the amazing support. God is SO good. and he knows exactly what we need. so thank you for letting Him use you, to help me.

some people say that conversing through email, blogs, etc. isn't healthy for relationships. and that you should really keep things verbal, so you can hear each other and truly listen. nope. not this time. your comments to me were like medicine for my heart :)

so thank you for being such supportive readers.
time to dominate tomorrow. and then friday is here.

its weird. i have had this battle going on in my mind all week, its gone something like this:

• one moment i am sad and pouting and mad and confused and hurt.
• and then the next moment i am like, 'ok, be strong, stop thinking about it, focus on something else'.
• and then the next moment i am like 'no, don't focus on something else, you have every right to cry and dread this long week and wish mr. leif was home'
• and then the next moment i am like 'but that won't get you anywhere. so suck it up and be strong'
• and then i cry and then...........

iiiiiiiiiick its a vicious battle. and its in my head.

ok so this post has turned into something completely random. i intended to make it a simple thank you.........but im not really a simple type of person. i am more of a mess....a hot mess....remember, i add the hot on there for mr. leif ;)

i'll be back..........friday. the big day.

and thank you. from the bottom of my heart.

ps. my sissy is coming to see me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!