Monday, February 28, 2011

weird dreams.

so, my fever's back.
yes, i've had a fever for 3 days in a row. i didn't even know they lasted that long.
although, after tylenol, it breaks to 99 for a few hours before goin right back up again.........
and i'm still swallowing daggers.

methinks i have strep, because i don't have any other symptoms other than fever and throat full of nails. but i'm going into the doc to confirm.

when you're sick you have weird dreams, or at least i do.

weird dream number one.
my mom and i were sitting in my front yard and a snake slithered up and hissed at her and tried to crawl on her. she freaked out a bit, but did a rather nice job of keeping her cool. then a GIANT boa constrictor attacked ME. and i freaked out. and tried to get the snake off of me, but i couldn't. .................and then i woke up and my bed was soaked with sweat. yuck, seriously. i was a sweaty betty.

weird dream number two.
i was back at my national indoor finals track meet (i ran for a year in college) and it was time for my hurdle race. like literally the girls were all getting into their blocks. i hadn't even taken off my warm ups OR stretched OR did any run-throughs. and my muscles were so tigh t, so i freaked out and ran over to my lane, trying to strip off my warm ups as fast as i could, to get into my blocks before the gun.........and then i woke up. and my legs, scratch that, my whole body, was aching like crazy.

crap. i don't even wanna know what's going to creep into my mind tonight. trying to train my mind for my dreams here folks) ...........cute dress from shoes...........princesses.............cotton candy..............funnel cakes................anthro

not really a post.

but rather a few ramblings sparked by this post.

i loved it because

a) it made me want to spray paint the crap outta my house and everything in it
b) she's promoting STELLA and DOT!!!!!!!!
c) i need some warm weather, and a tan. like, NEED

wanna get yourself some jewels?
lemmie know.

alright, i'm coming out of my cocoon.
i've been sick and in bed for 2.5 days.
like fever, swallowing swords, body aches so bad i feel like i was beat up and left in an alley.......then ran over 2 times by a giant bus feelings.
my throat still feels like it's full of daggers, but the fever is gone.
my curtains are open.
the sun is shining in.
i've counted how many days until i'm officially on summer break and able to play with romes ANY TIME I WANT TO.
how many days?
well, it's about 84.
oh heck, after typing that number it seems like forever away.........

the ole' switcheroo. (a part of my postpartum series)

mini sidenote. i've been super sick this weekend and won't be working today......just in bed
trying to recover, pausing to care for romes :) i didn't feel like writing anything, so i dug this out of my 'posts that never got published' pile....

did i ever tell you that i switched doctors mid-preggo?
i can't remember, but, regardless, i did.
i switched, at 28 weeks.
here i am at 26 weeks, just two weeks before i switched.
so clearly you can see i was well into being preg.

don't stare at my butt. it's still deflating, btw.

why is this part of my little postpartum series?
well, it's a warning. and a little piece of advice.

and i should probably let you know, i'm in a bit of a sarcastic/rowdy/goofy/silly/crazy mood. SO.....this post might sound a bit attitude-ish. but know, it's out of love. from me, to you. SMOOCH!
oh yeah, and it's also based on my experience. my one experience. others may have different ones, but this was mine.
SMOOCH, again!

let's dig in, shall we?

when you first find out you are pregnant, you have this crazy/excited/i wanna shout it from the rooftops feeling................. but you can't, because it's too early to 'share' with others. for multiple reasons.
so, your first real 'attention' in pregnancy is the first doctor visit.
the one where you do a blood test, and pee test, and well, i can't remember what else.
but it's the one that confirms your pregnancy and gives you your DUE date, you know, the date that is now stamped into the backside of your eyelids. you can see it and think of it every time you blink. literally.
you march right into the doctor's office, (thinking that you already might be showing, because you are THAT excited about being pregnant) and it happens.
what happens?
you wait forever in the waiting room, then you do all sorts of routine tests, and you find out you're preggs, and you look radiantly happy, and you expect everyone you pass by in the clinic to notice you and congratulate you and tell you your baby is going to be adorable, and you are going to be the most bestest momma. and the nurses? they will be so excited for you that they almost pee their pants.
but nope.
it doesn't happen.
i mean, you get a few congrats, some smiles, your doc might even hug you, but you are definitely not the 'talk of the town'.
and, that makes sense. because they DO see like 2,000 preggo girls a day, so you ARE just another one of them.
but, for a first time mom, you are a bit let down.
you thought the doc office staff would all do cartwheels and jazz hands as you exited the office to send you on your way out into the world as a declared new momma.
but they don't.

so, you go back to your next appointment A WHOLE MONTH LATER.
yeah, seriously.
you wonder if everything is ok with the baby for that WHOLE month.
with every symptom you have, or lack of symptom you thought you'd have, you wonder.
is the baby ok?
is it growing?
is the heart beating?
am i squishing it?
am i doing everything right?
etc. etc. etc.
and your hormones are raging, so that just makes everything even more peachy.

then FINALLY your next appointment comes,
and you go, you wait in the waiting room for an hour, you enter the patient room, you sit and wait for the doc another 20 minutes, then she comes, you pee in a cup, you chat a bit about your questions, and the doc says "alright, anything else?" and you can't really think about anything else at the moment, and then BAM! your appointment is over. and you realize it took about 5 minutes.
so, WHAT???? you wait a WHOLE month for a tiny, itty, bitty 5 minutes with your doc?
and then it's off to waiting again. for another. whole. month.

well, sometime, somewhere your appointments should.............(and here's what DIDN'T HAPPEN TO ME)
  • last longer than 5 minutes. mine never did.
  • and when you tummy begins to bulge out and you are showing, you get measured to see if you are growing appropriately. at 28 weeks, and VERY much showing, i still wasn't measured, (although this one might not be a biggie to others, it was to me)
  • you may discuss your weight gain, but if you've gained 15 pounds in the first 3 months, you really shouldn't be warned about future weight gain. i was already having body image issues. this was hard to hear!
  • you shouldn't be told by your tiny, cute, little doc that she jogged up until 32 weeks, when your boobs are way to big to even think about anything close to a brisk walk. again, cue major self consciousness here.
  • if you puke your guts out for more than 24 hours and can't even drink a sip of water.........than your call to the on call doc that evening should be met with understanding, compassion, and tips on what to do next. my phone convo (while i was in NE visiting fam) was rude and all they said was, "well, you might need to go to the ER if you are still puking tomorrow." and that's all. nothing else, just a blunt statement. then a goodbye.
  • if you have a high fever, accompanying the puke flu, and your body is aching so bad, you really think you might die, and this was all made note of in your file..........then at your next appointment, your doc shouldn't say, "and you are still feeling fine? no morning sickness or other issues? nothing else we need to talk about?" clearly, my doc wasn't reviewing my file. and clearly she didn't know that i was drinking carbonated water by the hour to calm my tummy, and that the isles of the grocery store felt like a haunted house i was SO SO SO nauseous.
  • and when you tell your doc that NO you aren't feeling fine! she should ask if you want any meds for nausea. not just ignore your cry for help.
  • and when you have an irregular scan, and your baby has multiple soft indicators for downs, and you are a scared new should receive a kind, thorough review of the high level scan you were asked to have done. when i went in for my appointment after that scan, she skimmed the perinatologist's report of my scan and didn't really answer questions we had.
(ok. remember i am in a sarcasting mood and i'm not usually so negative sounding, k? k. k!)

so, i shared all of this to my sweet book club. and an OUTPOURING of help was received. "switch! it's not to late! you need to switch!" so i did.

i wanted a doc that would listen to me.
i wanted a doc that would chat during our appointments.
i wanted a doc that would make me feel special because i am PREGNANT!
i wanted a doc who would not talk so fast and use such big words that made me feel so so small and dumb.
i wanted a friend.

so i switched. docs. and clinics. and the whole shabang. i even needed to fill out all new hospital paperwork and tour a different hospital because my new doc would deliver me at a whole new place.........

and guess (oh the power of prayer, oh how my GOD works wonders) who called me on that next SUNDAY night from HOME to chat about my file that was placed on her desk earlier that week!?!??! yep. you guessed it. my new doctor. she called me from HOME! we chatted about her recent beach vaca she just got home from. we chatted about my bad experience thus far. she validated my feelings. she reassured me things would be different.
and they were.

it was love at first visit. my new doc. my new clinic. the rest of my pregnancy.

moral of the story my preggo and future preggo friends?
love your doctor.
feel validated.
feel special.
feel listened to.
feel understood.

and if you don't? then switch. it's never too late. and it's worth it.

and, ps.
did you know during my week of pukecrazyness, that i was in NE and mom had to pull the car over and i puked on some random person's yard in lincoln? and it was total daylight, like 2pm. and my sissy rushed out to hold my hair. and it was like a college party gone bad. but not. because i was preggo. and people were driving by. and i made my mark in someone's front yard.

Friday, February 25, 2011

romedog, you're 4 months dude!

yep. it's true.
4 months already :)
and well, i'm quite in love with you.

a little stats?
ok. you weigh 17 pounds, you'z a big baby romes.
you are in the 90th percentile for weight, and 95th for height.
you are large, and in charge.
actually.......not really in charge, because really? you are so TOTALLY laid back. yep.
rome you are quite the cool cat. just chill.
and you are OH my goodness, HAPPY.

yes, you are an insta-smile.
as soon as i look you in the eye. your smile is so big it looks as if it would almost be painful. to make your cheeks stretch that far.

you pretty much let me do whatever i want to you. we even play dress up.
you really rocked the scarf that your grammy knitted for you.
dang rome. you got swag.

and ya know what? your hair. that's what.
it's still growin like a weed, up top.
you are ready for your third haircut already.
and, i'm lovin your hair, because you still have cradle cap. so it's a nice little natural hat.
we comb it into a hawk after bathtime, so're usually looking pretty and your mohawk.

you are ticklish.
REALLY ticklish. and you giggle.
and it's the best sound EVER.
you da cute baby roman joe.
and you are a mini mr leif, the other day i saw you in our bed, and it was like i was looking at your guys are like twinsies.

you are wearing 9-12 month clothes. at 4 months.
yeah, that rolling stones shirt you've got on here? well, its an 18 month'er.
although it WAS thrifted, so i'm sure it's been washed lots and lots.
but still.
you're big.
and i love you.

we STILL swaddle you like a little burrito.
we use the miracle blanket, aka straight jacket, AND the valcro swaddle.
yep, double you up. nice and tight.
just the way you like it. sleep from about 8 or 9 pm until about 5 or 6 am. rock on rome. rock on.

romyroo. you are grabbing at toys left and right.
loving to stick your whole hand in your mouth.....gnawing away - you'z a slobber monster. so, you must be teething :)
romes, you wiggle all over when you are on the floor, kicking like there's no tomorrow.......
but when we hold you, you are so content to just sit and be chill.
no rolling over yet. but that's ok.
i'd rather you not be on the go yet.
i'd rather you stay a baby forever.
this size, in fact.
my perfect little sidekick doll.
who laughs at all the crazy things i do and say.

roman joe, you have done big things to me in the last 4 months.
made me smile, made me cry
made me worry, made me proud
made me sleepy, made me excited
made me miss you, made me rush home to see you
made me wonder, made me trust

this motherhood deal is quite the gig.
sometimes i just want a timeout.
some time to freeze everything around me so that i can do my crafts, clean the house, run errands, and get my new business rollin.........
sometimes i wonder if i'll ever feel like i'm caught up or ahead of the game.............
sometimes i don't think i will ever get through this semester............
all the time, yes ALL THE TIME, i'm madly in love with you.
and ALL THE TIME i thank jesus for you.
and, well, i could stare into your blue eyes for hours, for days, for years.

thank you little romes, you make wanting 5 kids seem like a breeze.
thank you mr leif, you are my mcdreamy baby daddy.
thank you jesus, you give me grace.

oh, ps.
we have lots of nicknames for you:
rome, romes, romedog, romeroo, romedog millionare, roman candle, roman numeral, romano, romonster, squiggle baby, squiggle butt, squiggler, little love.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

moms don't really wear heels, or do they?

and............cue your confused looks. because those heels above don't really have anything to do with this post. i'm just weird. and also, i just really want those shoes on my feet, and now. and i would also like to be wearing them with a dress. and also i'd like to be holding hands with mr leif. and also, a glass of red wine would be a nice accessory. and also? we should be out on a date, with not a care in the world.

back to reality.

oh crappers. it's happening......
that time of year where SPRING! and SUMMER! are happening all around us...... yet as i look outside i see dark, gloom, and rain, boo? yes, boo.

however, the look of spring and summer seems to be pouring out of every magazine, every store window, and literally jumping right off the page and into my lap from the anthro mag.
and, i can't help but get the itch.
the one that makes me want to somehow gain a million dollars, and then get rid of my whole closet, and stock it new.

most of the time. like really about 85% of the time i delight in putting together random outfits, using articles of clothing from wayyyyy back, even from high school (yep, i still rock a pair of pants that i sported in my senior pictures) and i'm a sucker for anything thrifted.
i still get the itch.
and, well, could anthro just please lower their prices?
just for like, oh, a day?

they should have a "if you're a mom and can't typically afford our swag, come on in on this one special day.....and it's ok if you need to bring your kids along, heck you can even nurse in our dressing room" sale.
yep, that would be a good sale.
AND...........if they had that one day sale, i'd buy these two things.

for my sweet friend's bridal shower in march.
yep, i would.
oh you mustard shoes. i wanna give you a smooch.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

rockin the morning routine.

it's a madhouse these days :)

i used to use an alarm clock......i would set my alarm for 6:00. slowly roll out of bed, fumbling around deciding what to wear as i gradually made my way to the shower....

now? i don't need an alarm clock. in fact, i haven't set one since the day before roman was born. nope. i have no fear of oversleeping for work. no way. he gets me up between 5 and 6 daily.

i used to take a nice, hot, long shower.........i wouldn't worry about anything but standing, letting the water beat down on my back, head, face.......ahhhhhh........slowly washing my hair. enjoying how soft it felt after conditioning it. just when i was about to turn the water off...... i decide to stand there a little more, preparing for my day. i can get ready and be outta the door by 7! oh yeah.........oh, totally yeah...........plenty of time to stop for a hot chocolate on the way, and get to school EARLY. quicktrip has maginificient hot chocolate machines, by the way, yum? yum.

now? roman begins talking around 4:00. so, i tip toe into his room, give him his pacifier, rub his cheekies, and he falls back asleep.
it's back to bed i go. trying to fall asleep as fast as i can......then BAM! it's 5:00 before i know it. romedog begins sqeeling in his crib because he needs to eat, so its off to nurse him.
by 5:30, we are sittin' in the chair and he's so excited to eat that he nose dives into me multiple times before i'm even ready to begin feeding him.
that little silly man, he's a hungry fella! he eats for a while then takes a break to laugh and we play and cuddle and smile at eachother, and now its back on. finish that eating little romes. hopefully by 6:15 he's done.

i put him in his chair and start the vibration and music. now, quick! run to the kitchen to pack up my pump stuff and grab something for lunch! now, get the bottles out of the fridge and pack his bag! take out everything out to the car, and, if it's cold? start the car and crank that heat!

back into the house i go...........time to transfer romes into his carseat and turn on our praise baby cd. he snoozes off, or almost does.

quick! i hop in the shower, then run into my room. i have just enough time to throw on something to wear, apply minimal, yet presentable, makeup and brush my teeth.
oh crap, my hair? ehyyy, oh well. hopefully my new stella and dot collection will distract from my hair.

ok. grab romes and head out to the car. it's 7:10!
i drop him off at the babysitter's and rush off to school.
i dart in and out of traffic, getting a rush while passing cars and blasting k-love.
there it is!!! starbucks!!
i look at my clock, is it before 7:40?? if so? i can stop.
i get the only thing i've ever tried there, white chocolate mocha.
yummidy yum yum. holla gurrrrrrrrrrrrrl.

guzzle down da coffay as i whip into the driveway.
greet those kids as they start piling up out front of the school.
bell rings. it's 8:00. greet those little guys, all 400+ of them.
good morning. good morning. good morning.

one of romy's sitters sends me pictures during the day.
here's one from last week :)
hi! wanna roman-filled donut? makes that crazy routine worth it. he's smiling. he's fine. i'm fine. inhale, exhale. God is good :)
ps. my sissy and baby charlotte and momma are all staying with me this week.
YEP! this whole WEEK! they came with me back to KC.
its good. so very good. but i still have to work, blehhhhk.
but they've got romes all day. he's loving it. and charlotte is lovin him :)

Friday, February 18, 2011

wish me luck,

i mean....pray for me.

today. after work. i'm off to nebraska.
with roman, but not mr leif.

he has to work on saturday, because like me, he too is feeling way too swamped these days.

the romes and i are going to visit my momma. and MY SISTER will be there too. and her family. YAY??!!!!!

but back to the prayers.
its a 4.5 hour drive.
i'll be doing it alone.
in the dark.

meaning, nursing on the side of the road.
pulling over when the paci falls out.
pulling over to change the dipe.
in the dark.
with boogy men all around.

but really, i'm nervous.

i don't want our drive to take 7 hours.
and i don't want my car to break down.
not that it ever has.
but now wouldn't be a great time for it it happen.

but i promise.
when i return..................
pictures, pictures pictures!!!
fun fun FUN will reappear on this blog.

no more debbi downer lindsey.
life is good.
God is good.
family is good.
and well, this drive might be good...........maybe. i mean, i CAN stop and get a route 44 sonic on the way, ey????

ps. can i pump and drive at the same time? no, you say?
ok. better not.........

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

seriously, mrs leif?

working with kids, can be quite........

"well, gosh mrs leif, how'd your baby get out of you?"
um, well, do you really wanna know? jk. besides your male kindergarten teacher just gave me an 'oh this is awkward look', and.......moving on.

"oh mrs. leif, your tummy isn't round any more! what happened?"
thanks.....but ahem, you don't wanna see underneath my shirt!!! hello one-piece swimsuit.

mrs leif, they actually had walmart back when you were a kid, wow!!?"
seriously girls, i'm not that old. for real. like totally there was a jc penny back then too. boo yah.

"omg. when i say i like justin bieber, it's not that i want to marry him. i'm just being a fan. you know, like hang posters up in my room and buy his book, and listen to his music. now, if i said i like like like him, or like love him, then i really love him. but just one like doesn't mean love."
whoa. breathe child. breathe.

"and besides i saw him with his girlfriend in a magazine, and his arm was like this (she puts her arm around me) so yeah, he has a girlfriend. so of course i don't like like like him or like love him"
well duh. you totally aren't in love with him.

the storm before the calm?

that's how i feel right now.
i knew this would happen.
i knew i would end up in this 'place'
my life feels like a storm right now.
and i get myself in these situations all the time........i WORK HARD at trying to slow my life down. it literally becomes WORK.

no, i don't think it was a wrong time to launch my new stella and dot business. in fact, i think the time was perfect. i need to get it off and going so that when summer comes and my only responsibilty is little romes, i will be in full force with stella and dot. i want to be comfortable with it by summer time. i want to have it be a normal part of my life by then, so i can fully enjoy my summer with romes, and won't need to be learning the ropes to this new thing. i'll already have it under my belt.

but problem?
i'm still working.
and still going to school every wednesday night.
and still trying to pump and nurse.
and still trying to be a wife.
and still trying to figure out this whole mom gig.
and still trying to travel and visit family.

so, i'm looking at this as my storm before the calm.

most days i'm pumped with adrenaline, to dominate the day.
but a few times i feel defeated before i even get out of bed.

roman looks up and begins giggling after our 5:30am nursing time. and i shiver at the thought of setting him down so i can get ready to go to work. but i suck it up. and i do it. moms are strong. wow, we are.
then, i begin this really my storm before the calm? or is this my life. is this just how life is? barely stop to catch your breath before you go again?
regardless if i'm working or not.
regardless if i have one child or 5.
will life always be so challenging?

last week, mr leif and i started laughing in the kitchen as i said, "wow, the responsibilities in life never stop, huh! we just won't ever get a break or a timeout from here on out!"
life can be such a heavy burden on our shoulders.
IF we let it.

why do we let it?
or maybe its just me. why do i let it?
i close my heart off. i don't go to HIM for help. i don't accept his grace in the areas of my life that i need it so bad.

the beautiful thing about our FATHER, is that he wants to carry our burdens for us.
psalm 55.22 - Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you.

i typically don't have the tendency to be a 'downer'
i typically am quite the happy, smiley, goofy, full of energy girl.......
but it seems as if, in this season, i've let things get the best of me.
busy-ness and worry.

i don't know what it is about music. but it gets to me. every time.
i can be in the biggest funk and then a good song comes on and i completely do a 180.
that's what happened the other morning.
this song came on.
and, when i found it on youtube, i fell in love with this version.
each verse i read seemed to JUMP OUT and GRAB my heart.
saying, "hello, lindsey? you'll be fine. I AM here for you, quit freaking out. quit trying to handle life on your own. turn it over to ME"
a breath of fresh air.

i didn't want this post to come off as a complaint.
but i wanted to share. because i know so many of us can feel so burdened by the busy-ness of life. we let whatever season we are in overwhelm us to the max. leaving us tired, worried, and confused.

i want you to know there is SO much rest in HIM.
his grace is SO sufficient.
and songs like those can just re-vamp me.
making me feel confident because HE is with me EVERY step of the way.
at work.
at home.
in the middle of the night.
when i'm tired. annoyed. overwhelmed. and ready to throw the towel in :)
to stop, and slow down, and be still in the lord, can be difficult.
we get ourselves so consumed with over-committing.
i over-committ because i want to please others. i want to make sure i am meeting the needs of those around me. but really, its so unhealthy. my family suffers. my job suffers. my relationships suffer.
however. i'm trying to train myself to slow down.
sounds weird, i know.
but.........the other morning. a rare thing happened.
as i was looking up from feeding romes, i saw the sunrise.
and it was beautiful.
i don't remember the last sunrise i've in the city doesn't quite promote it.
but it was there, peeking around our neighbor's house. and bright pink.
it made me stop. think. and reflect on my day. HIS beauty is everywhere, reminding me anytime, anywhere that his grace is sufficient. one day at a time. i just have to look. i can't put my blinders on.
it's all around us.
we just have to stop and see it.

here's to being refreshed and ready.
here's to smiling. laughing. and being lighthearted in the midst of crazy.
here's to the storm. praying it brings calm :)

Saturday, February 12, 2011

from our romeo.

our lil' romeo wishes you a happy love day.

oh boy, miss molly has done it again.

yes, yes, yes.........
she did this one too.
i forgot to post it!

what are me and mr leif gonna do to celebrate our LOVE?!?!?!?
not sure yet.
but i've got ideas in the makin'
romes gets his 4 MONTHS shots on V-day.
yep, folks, 4 months!!!!
so, the mr and i may need to postpone our celebration. we shall see......

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

makes you stop and think...

today, on my way to work, there were three accidents on the interstate.

as i was driving by one of them, slowy, as traffic was way backed up, i witnessed a victim getting loaded onto a stretcher and then placed in the ambulance.


that totally rocks your world. in a scary way.
have you ever been on a stretcher?
in an ambulance?

i have.
almost 4 years ago.
i was in an accident. kind of a weird accident. i passed out (i had the flu) while driving. weird. i know.
but regardless, i was in SOOOO much pain and asked to be strapped onto the stretcher with one of my knees bent up, half fetal position......
while in the ambulance my pain was so severe i couldn't talk or try to answer any of their questions.
i thought, was i going to die?
the emergency room was crazy..........

makes you really stop and think.

but then i recovered and moved on with my life.

when i was finally released to drive (thanks sam for coming down to KC to drive me to the bank to sign the papers when we bought our house....crazy times!!!) i was a bit nervous. back on the raod? what if i pass out again?

it kept me on my toes for a while, in terms of evaluating life. my purpose. my goals. situations like those really make you stop and think.

but i quickly jumped back into the swing of things after a month off of work to recover. and after about 4 months i could work out and/or be active again. in no time, i rarely thought of my accident. and thus, rarely put my life into check, as seriously as i had that february, 4 years ago.

but today?
seeing that stretcher load up into the ambulance brought me back there.

as i passed the ambulance, i turned up k-love even louder.
you can probably hear the music blaring in the car next to me (and both of our windows are up)
you probably know what song i'm listening to by watching me sing at the top of my lungs.

but today, there was a song with the lyrics:
As the hands and feet of Jesus, I’m called to serve the least of these.

then...i began thinking, how am i "serving the least of these?"

HOW am i acting as the HANDS and FEET of JESUS?

that's where i am right now.
focusing, praying, thinking, about how GOD is going to use me.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

and one more thing...

....prayers for my momma today...
she's undergoing surgery, as i type.
she's having her thyroid removed.
may our Lord be guiding the doctors hands :)

update> surgery went great!

don't mind me...'s my day off.

and i'm busy cleaning this

Monday, February 7, 2011

so, what's up with romes?

well hi guys! so glad you asked....
mom's just uploaded a bunch of pictures from her cell phone, for your viewing pleasure, hehe :)

i like my slippers, yep i do. sometimes i wear them to take my naps in......and when mom comes to get me, she finds that one or both have fallen off during my nap, so she laughs and kisses my piggies!!

i still get swaddled for ever nap or sleeptime. i liked being wrapped up tight. but.......if i'm not wrapped tight enough, then......

walaaaa........i'm bustin' out yo! when i break out of my blanky, mom sings, "i want to break free'eee......i want to break free....." to me. then i giggle.

a couple nights ago i wiggled all the way over to my puppy.
mom saw me in action because her and dad were peeking on me for about 10 minutes watching me giggle at the animals in my bed!

oh. this hat? mom always puts it on me, and then takes a bajillion pictures.
i don't mind it.....i like me some fluffies :)

ahhhhh, yes. the hat. again. while i'm getting my diaper changed? come on mom!

yep, it's no lie. i'm a giggle monster. especially when i make eye contact with mom.......or whenever she makes her silly noises. i giggle at dad too, he likes to talk to me in a high pitched voice. hehehe

diaper head.

bath time? gettin' fresh for the babes, what's not to love?

happy monday.
i'm hoping this week flies by, i miss my mom when she's at work. is it summer break yet?

Saturday, February 5, 2011

a postpartum series: part 2

i'm not sure where i left off last time, and for some reason i don't feel like going back and reading part 1 to see......i guess i'm being lazy :)
but the truth is, romes just fell asleep for a napperoo, and i only have so much time before he needs me, you know....for a snack :)

so let's see....
i've been wanting to share about coming home from the hospital.
and, although my last post about postpartum was more about the emotional experience, this one is going to touch on some of the physical things. actually just 3 things. but i think they are important. so there. :)

i've obviously only experienced giving birth once. thus i have only went through it one way....
i have spoken with lots of friends who have had different experiences. but. either way, i want to share mine. because if i can even help just one other girl out there be a little more prepared because she read this and ended up experiencing the same thing, that cool. tadaaa. awesome.

ok, let's get started.
i wasn't really into reading books during my pregnancy. i mean, i liked the idea of sitting cozied up on the couch with book after book, expanding the my knowledge of everything baby. but it didn't happen. actually, mr leif did more prepping then i did. he received weekly email updates from 'what to expect'....and actually learned a lot through them!
however, i did try to stay pretty up to date with one of those week by week preggo books. i would take it to the pool with me (partly so that when people saw me in a suit, there was a little justification for my pouch / aka / not quite sure if it looked like a baby bump yet - see, they could see my preggo book and think "oh, ok, she's preggo) idk. just another one of those body image issues i went through (i guess i shouldn't say went, because it's not quite in the past yet) while being pregnant.

talk about interesting. it's so fun to learn how your little babe is growing each week, and it's great to find out that your symptoms are normal, or that heartburn is expected, and that i should be eating healthier..... yes. great book.

what i found that really isn't out in the 'if your pregnant, read this' world....are books preparing you for the physical and emotional parts of labor and recovery.
i mean, there are those chapters in the ends of those weekly books that take you through the labor and delivery, and recovery.
but they just aren't really that great.
and to be honest? by the time you hit week 30 (remember non-moms, preggo is 40 weeks) of being pregnant, not much changes with the baby, so most of the time you, or at least i, stopped reading the book.

i'm truly thankful that my older sissy asked me to be in her delivery room when she had charlotte. it opened my eyes and my heart to SORT of prepare myself for what to expect. and i'm assuming, all of you non-momma's reading this, that you won't all get to have the experience of witnessing a birth, so that's why i want to share with you!

one: ouchie.
wow. i should tell you, i just wrote a big paragraph about things that are entirely too graphic, and then deleted it all. i decided that it was way too much for this blog. eeeek! but what IS for this blog is that i want you to understand when you come home from the hospital, you will have to take care of yourself. chances are you had some sort 'ouchie' down there and it will need lots of care. why do i say that? because so many friends have shared with me that they didn't know about that part. that no one told them about the awesome netted granny panties they have to wear along with the other stuff........ lets leave it at that. but warning: coming home isn't easy on your body (down there).

two: maternity clothes - don't baggem' up too soon.
when you come home from the hospital, you want comfy clothes. but you won't be able to hop right back into those cute little jeans you wore before you were preggo. nope. truth is? for those first few weeks, you are still deflating. and obviously it will take months to get back into those jeans. so prepare yourself.
a week or so before i delivered, my sweet friend colette and i went to the mall. partly ,to walk around in hopes to get babyleif out sooner, but also to buy something cute and comfy and able to wear if breastfeeding, for the hospital.
yes, buy something cute for the hospital, DO IT!
you just had a baby, you are sick of your maternity clothes, but you WONT fit into those 'real' clothes buy something cute and loungy that is new and crisp, to put on after that first shower at the hospital. i still grab my cute zip up from american eagle when i run out the easily masks my horrible saggyness while wearing a nursing bra........and looks cute at the same time. haha. hehe.

three: you're going to be starving.
especially if you're breastfeeding.
buy some snacks for those middle of the night feedings.
i went through animal crackers like they were goin' outta style.
remember this picture? yep. i lived off of animal crackers.

ok. i feel like this post is getting REALLY boring.
gag, i almost want to just delete it.
so i better stop here. before i just keep rambling.
hopefully some of those things help you (you, and you, and you who are pregnant or you, who aren't quite preggo yet, but will be someday, hehe)

and i still have two posts knitting themselves together in my mind.
one is about stella and dot.
coming soon.
maybe tonight?
(and in case you are wondering what stella and dot is, scroll down through the bottom of this post i JUST saw on a blog i follow!!
way cool.
see you soon.
cheese pizza for dinner.
thank you papa johns, you never fail to impress me :)

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

the past. the present. the future.

the PAST, like just the last couple weeks......
oh man, holy snow day after snow day.
did you know i've only had ONE week since xmas break that i've actually worked a full four days (because i'm only working 4 days a week now. praise the LORD)
yep, we've had that many snow days.
also, did you know that colette had her babies? yep. she did. two boys.
and they're cute. SO cute.
and she's really good at being a mom. relaxed. a natural.
let's seeeee....
oh yeah.

i got sick. and realizing i hadn't showered or changed in over 2 days. whoops.
i learned pretty quickly that staying home from work, trying to get healthy, isn't like it used to be.
a good sleepin' in, lazy morning, filled with a hot shower, and maybe a trip to panera for a yummy breakfast or soup lunch, accompanied by a lazy afternoon nap, a couple law and order reruns, and then snuggles under the blankets until mr leif comes home to rescue me from the sickness with hugs and dinner and well, anything else i want.
sick w/ roman:yikes! roman is hungry at 5:00am. what? roman, not today. even though you always get up around 5, when i'm sick you must skip this feeding. no? ok. fine. so i nurse him and while we walk back to my bedroom, burp him on the way. then it's back to bed. swaddle him up like a bambino. and go back to sleep, together. then he's hungry again in a few hours. back up to nurse. OH man. head pounding. body aching. quick nurse. (oh crap. he wants to play???) what in the world, he's HAPPY? and must think i look like a freak (i did, if you caught the picture above) because he wants to laugh all day long. but ya know what? even when i'm sick, he can make me smile. and laugh. and even bounce around doing really embarrassing things just to get him to giggle. alrighty, i'm hungry. and it's lunch time.
oh yes, chili in the fridge.
warm up the chili, and what do ya know? spill it all over my legs.
and i musta put it in the microwave a tad too long, i burnt my legs.
i said OH FRICK! which is like a cuss word.
and then i felt bad. roman was staring at me.
strip down naked to get the hot hot chili off.
it landed on my shirt, pants, AND socks.
(ps - still have a big red burn mark on my thigh)
moving on.......
the afternoon was filled with a giant nap.
roman held my hand while we were in bed.
oh, everything's better now.

so yes......... romes stayed healthy throughout the week, and weekend.
but just yesterday he turned piggy.
snuffy snuffy nose.
but guess WHAT.
he LOVES getting his nose suctioned. yeah, who woulda though!?!
it makes him giggle.
so i suction his nose a lot.
we have fun.
and just this morning i squeezed the suctiony thing after i sucked a boog out, and it went flying....and stuck to our wall. HAHAHAHAHAH.
i'm leaving it there until mr leif gets home.
it's going to be the first thing i show him.
can't wait.
(ok this is funny...........i can hear roman giggling in his crib. i have 4 stuffed animals hanging over the edge and he thinks they are so funny. he's supposed to be sleeping, but instead has been literally squeeling in laughter for the past 10 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!)

the PRESENT. like, today.
i'm soaking up my 5th day in a row home with rome.
sat, sun, (monday my day off) tues snow day, and today snow day.
really, it could snow up until May if i continued to get snow days.
then we'd have to go on longer.... so, nevermind.
ok, seriously? roman is SO much fun.
you guys.........he is so happy!
doesn't have a fussy time. nope. from morning until night, he's such a little squealer!!!
makes life as a momma pretty fun :)
makes these snow days THAT much better :)
makes this season of life SO sweet.
people always say, oh THIS is my favorite stage, and then the next stage is their favorite and then the next and the next........
but so far, THIS is the best stage.
romes is like my little doll.
i get him dressed.
he LOVES to play with little toys, and the mirror, and drooling.
he LOVES when i am really weird
he LOVES when i sing
he LOVES when i make awkward noises
he LOVES when i bounce around like a crazy person
he LOVES almost anything we do.
he loves life. and i'm in love with him :)

the FUTURE. 
well, not sure.
just trying to take it one day at a time :)