Thursday, May 19, 2011


this post is going to be really random.
you've been warned.

  1. i just heard a commercial about losing your muffin top, BAHAAAAAAAAAA.
  2. tonight for dinner, we made a lasagna that my mom had frozen for us back when roman was born, and it was yummy.
  3. roman is now 7 months old. and i haven't done his monthly [cheesy/homemade] photo shoot yet. but i will. soon, probably. (and yes, that means the lasagna was frozen 7 months ago)
  4. case just fell asleep to the E true-hollywood story about dog the bounty hunter. o goodness. these people are a mess. [am i judging? sorry.]
  5. who names their kid dog? or maybe that's just his nickname. dunno.
  6. in one week we'll be leavin on a jetplane. YES, roman, too. we're off to denver.
  7. on the same day we are flying out, i will be completing my last day of work. for the school year. (matter of fact, i have a 2:00 meeting and a 4:45 flight...........not sure how i'll be making all that all work..........oh dear)
  8. we are having someone come clean our house on tuesday. (i know, i know, i should probably do that on saturdays) but truth? i haven't cleaned in a long time. and another truth? i have an event every. single. evening. until the day we fly out, so i won't have time. and plus, mr leif is totally on board. so i'm not going to feel guilty.......i'm not going to feel guilty..........i'm not going to feel guilty.
  9. our school is being remodeled over the summer. so i have to pack up everything in my office by wednesday. uh oh. i haven't started. uh oh.
  10. my contract for next school year has officially been changed to 3 days a week.
  11. YES, that's right folks. i'm only working 3 days a week next year! boy, God is good. amen? amen :)
  12. i suppose i will have to cancel our cleaning lady after the first time she comes because a) i'll be home for the summer and won't have any excuse and b) i'm ONLY WORKING 3 DAYS next year so i should probably find time to scrub those floors.
  13. we like to buy little mini haagen daz ice creams, dolce de leche to be exact, and snarf them down. very fast.
  14. i miss roman during the nights and sometimes just want to tip toe into his room, snatch him up, and sneak him into our bed :)
  15. i'm tired.
  16. goodnight.
  17. i love that every time i push
  18. enter
  19. it adds another number
  20. twenty
  21. haha, did it again!
  22. oh my, i'm losing it.
  23. i don't like cats
  24. or squirrels.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

right where i need to be.

this past semester has been a challenge for me.

brand new momma + working out of the home + finishing my final semester in my master's program + all my family at least 4 hours away = a worn out girl who is way too often desiring to move back to the small town livin'..........the simple life.............closer to my momma.........

BUT having just completed my degree, (YES!!! i did!!! last week was my last class, EVER!!!) i have felt the biggest weight sucked right off my shoulders up into the sky.

and, a few days ago, roman and i took a walk around our block.
the Lord opened my eyes to the beautiful life He has created for me, RIGHT here in kansas city.
i'm right where he wants me.
i need to live fully where i'm at.

on our walk, it was made clear that if i slow down.
if i simplify.
if i take the time to recognize the beauty around me, that i won't be wishing we could run away back home where i've created this 'made up easy life' in my mind..........

here is what i have RIGHT outside my doorstep:

a corner shot of our home. our cute, little, quaint TINY home.
one bathroom/two bedroom it may be. but it's cozy. and there is SO much love here.
come on over. i'd love to have ya. we've got left over champagne from mother's day in the fridge!

our cute little neighborhood, "countryside".
did i tell you we got yard of the week once? we did.
and we think it's because we finally planted a few flowers and pulled some weeds.
they were trying to reward us for FINALLY doing SOMETHING to our yard.
we were very lazy for the first year of home ownership (actually we were just driving back to nebraska every weekend for wedding marathon summer.)

and looking a few houses to the right... this grey beauty. (i tell mr leif i want to copy their color scheme on a regular basis.) but the best part of this home? the lady living inside. i haven't met the rest of her family yet, but she's a sweet one. and i hope to meet the rest when i bake them some lemon bars!!

and looking a few houses to the left... an older couple. i meet the husband regularly walking his dog as i'm off to work in the mornings, he always gives a big wave to me........they should get some lemon bars too.

and across the street...a playground. swarming with potential mom friends......should i bring some lemon bars to the park?

and caddy corner...(aka. summer hang out. roman=fish) lemon bars for the lifeguards? OK!

oh man, the trees are beautiful......but trees really can't eat lemon bars.
(am i taking this lemon bar thing too far? ok, sorry.)

and, eeeeeeksies. the quaintness of our little bridge.......
who's that baby?!

oh, the trees......

the giant trees............
i'm in love.

this walk was good for me.
so revealing.
it put me in my place.

and to help me focus on living fully even MORE?? this book that i'm reading.

i also gave one to my momma and motherinlaw for their mother's day gift :)

so, a toast to my summer....which starts in 16 days:
may it be one that challenges me to "leave the parched ground of pride, fear, and white-knuckle control and abandon myself to my God, who overflows my cup" (taken from her book)

Monday, May 9, 2011

baby's lookin' gooooooooooooooood.

to the barber shop we go,

with my pacifier in tow.

upon daddy's lap i sit,

thinking this whole haircut thing is the shiznit.
(is that a bad word? i didn't intend it to be, i just needed something to rhyme with sit, K? no judge.)

my hairstylist let me play with a comb,

i'm thinkin, dangggggg, i don't have any toys like this at home.

holla at'chur boy.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

mothers day.

this past week, mother's day has been on my mind.....
it has a whole new meaning for me this year.
one that speaks of strength, patience, bravery, and love.

in just 6 months, i've changed more than i could have ever imagined.
i've been stretched, and yanked, and tugged in every direction while trying to take care of, love, feed, and make decisions - all part of this new gig i'm doin - motherhood.
it's scary but it's beautiful.

but what makes this whole motherhood thing do-able, what makes it so enjoyable, is to have a partner to do it with.

this past week, i was speaking with a colleague who is currently a single mom.......while i was sharing how helpful it is when mr leif washes my pump stuff in the evenings and gets it ready for the next day, she shared that she is lucky if she can get the father of her baby to buy a ream of diapers and bring it over.........

motherhood is so unbelievably hard and trying, yet the most beautiful thing at the same time...........i've come to learn it's best experienced with a helper, with a leader.
someone to bounce ideas off of.
someone to help with those middle of the night wake-ups.
someone to change a dirty diaper so you don't have to do each one.
someone to cook dinner because you are busy nursing the baby.
someone to tell you, you're doing a great job.

my someone met me with this, this morning:

and this too.
he was my gift, on this, my first mother's day.
my baby.
my little roman.
i can not explain the love i have for him.
not a day goes by when i literally want to nibble a piece of him.
not a day goes by when i squeal to mr leif saying, ahhhhhhh i just can't even explain how much i love this kid!
not a day goes by that i don't just stop, stare and glow in love for him.
he made me a mother.
he is my firstborn.

mr leif is lovely.
he even brought me a mimosa.

and made me pancakes.

they were really good.
even romes needed a bite.

it's been a beautiful day.