Saturday, April 23, 2011

6 months.

i always thought, "oh how cliche" when i heard others say..."they grow up too fast.......
but it's true.
terribly true.

i keep restating, "i wanna freeze this stage.... this one's the best."
but then the next one comes, and it's better.

he's half a year old. 6 months.
he's changing so much. every day.

we finally stopped swaddling you sweet baby.
you see, you began rolling over. so when you were all swaddled up and rolling over onto your tummy, causing you to face plant and have no arms free to help support your face up.........well, it was an issue.
safety first.
no more swaddle.

what else came with no more swaddle?
no more long stretches of sleep.

it's been a battle. a struggle. but we are making progress (i think...)
dear roman, you just love to pull your paci out. then you love to cry and stick you lip out and be all sorts of sad because you can't quite find it and get it back in.
needless to say,
we make lots of trips to your crib during the night to stick it back in.

some moms might judge.
some moms might say to let you go.
but i'd rather make you happy.
i'd rather help you out until your hand coordination gets better.
i'd rather assist you until you can do it yourself.
i'm your momma.
that's what i'm for :)

to add to your new sleeping drama, my sweet baby, is your love for all things soft and fluffy.
your crib? no so soft and fluffy. because that darn (and rather pricey mattress) isn't as soft as mommy and daddy's bed. and that stinkin' sheet is nothin' compared to mommy and daddy's fleece sheets...... roman, you MELT when you hit our bed. you love it. it's your safe place...
you love to snuggle in our bed.
you love to giggle in our bed.
you love to play in our bed.
and.........yes, sometimes we let you sleep in our bed.
but your our baby, so we can do that.

my little love, you can sit up! yes, all by yourself :)
and my oh my, just this week, you've begun to prop up on all fours, rocking back and forth........oh, SO close to crawling!!!
i'd rather you just stick with sitting for now, though....
i already know, once you begin crawling, there will be no stopping you.
a man on a mission.
time to baby proof :)
roman's a cute little wiggler, mover, scooter, and a groover.
yep, you gonna have sweet dance moves just like momma some day.
we be rockin to the tunes. shakin it left. shakin it right.
dad will just watch.
he doesn't like to dance much.
and that's ok!

only rarely are you serious.
just when you wake up for a brief moment, and then again when you get sleepy.....
and just when there is something so cool and neat to watch - then you get very focused.
but normally?
most of the time?
how we typically see you?
blowin' bubbles.
making high pitch giggly squeals.
and smilin' up a storm.
you're so happy.
happy. snappy. wappy.

little keep me on my toes these days.
you're so fun to play with! picking things up!
transferring things from hand to hand and then always into your mouth :)
no teethies yet. but still teething like a madman. drooling....gnawing on anything you can get your little pudgy fingies onto!!! are ticklish!!!
yes, you are!!!! under your armpits. your feetsies. your neck. your belly......
and your laugh?
well, it's the sweetest noise that i've ever heard.
almost sweeter than when your daddy tells me he loves me :) are resilient. you go to two different babysitters each week, and just this past week, you went to a third one :) you can acclamate to your surroundings very easily.
people make you happy.
hanging out in the grocery store, the mall, the park, or church is the highlight of your day.....any day.

but the highlight of your life? me and your daddy.
you love us.
and we love you.

and what the heck, these next 6 months are gonna be a blast.
crawling.....walking....maybe even a bit of talking.....
my little romanator, life is good.

we pray that God molds you into a leader, dear roman.
a strong, and humble leader.
a strong, humble and brave leader.......with a little side of silliness.


we do.
we do.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

bluebells are back.

i'm sort of excited that these are coming back in style.

for a short girl like me? these are just what i need.

elongate those legs, momma.

now, i just need to keep my exercise plan going (aka breastfeeding)........and then i can squeeze in a pair ;)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

i wish i was here.

with mr. leif on one side, and romes on the other, and a glass of champagne in my hand.

i like champagne.

it makes me feel like i'm celebrating.

and i love to celebrate.

good work olivia :)


he's 6 months old today............ohmanohmanohman............

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

on my current season of life.

is anybody out there???
is anyone reading this???
did you all run away and flag this blog as "boring blog"???
it's ok if you did!!! i've been a bit boring lately, i know :)

well. i'm here. i'm still here. and, i'd like to warn you: this post is long. (and it's sort of all over the place......)

let's see. where shall i begin?
ok, let's back up to my spring break, in the middle of march.

have you ever driven a 4 hour trip with a baby? by yourself?
well, it's actually about 5.5 hours. because you have to stop for him to eat. and poop. and play.

but don't worry. the drive time you waste while stopping is clearly made up for when you realize your foot is pushed, pedal to the medal, because of the intense cry coming from the backseat. yes, i used to 'drive fast' because i was listening to some fly beats. now? its when roman is using his 'baby talk' to tell me he is DONE being in his carseat, aka: screaming.

roman isn't typically a screamer, he's a rather happy baby. but no one likes to be in a carseat after 4 hours. so, 5.5 is pushin' it.
needless to say, we were greeted with a very excited grammy. and a new pair of shades.
romes, you're cool. so very cool.

roman got some great giggles in.
anytime you start nibbling on him......whether it's his belly, his ears, his neck, his toes? yep. he's a giggle monster.

and when he wasn't giggling with grams? he was chillin with gramps.
just catchin a little fox news. nbd. (nbd? oh, that's short for no big deal, k dad? hehehehe)

roman decided that he is, in fact, infatuated with the bath tub.
especially the one at grammy's house.

and what the heck, he now has two new bff's
blog friends: meet rubber ducky, and octopus.

we even had a fun visit from roman's other grammy, and his uncle cameron!
boy, that cam, he's sure entertaining, huh romes?!!
you could play with him for hours :)

one morning, we went into town. let me parents live in the country. and our town (of 1300 people) is about 5 miles away. so for 'civilization', aka bakery/grocerystore/gas/subway, we 'go into town'.
we met my cousin kate, and her little hudson (on the right) and our friend whitney, and her little brexton (on the left) at the bakery!!!

and the other guest?
the guest of honor?
great grammy rath.
the bakery is totally her hangout. so we got to spend a sweet little morning there with her!

then, on thursday?
dun..... dun...... dun.......
cute, loveable, happy, goofy, giggly baby?

romes got sick.
like, i won't sleep - sick.
like, i wanna scream - sick.
like, i will drool everywhere and slam things into my mouth it hurts so bad - sick.
like, now i have a rash on my face - sick.
like, i won't nurse - and mom couldn't pump enough - so must run into town and get some formula - sick.
like, i won't do anything but be pushed around in this stroller - sick.

yeah, so what's harder than trying to make a sick baby feel better at home?
trying to make a sick baby feel better when you are NOT home.
and you don't have your husband.
and you don't have any teething medicine.
and you only have a little tylenol. and you don't get sleep......... whoofta.

but as i look back, i realize, it wasn't just the 'roman is being really difficult right now'............
no, it was that he was fussy all day on thursday. and thursday night, all night. and then all day on friday.........and on friday night. AND i was supposed to be in lincoln on friday night.
i was supposed to be helping prepare for carrie's shower.
i was supposed to be making food
i was supposed to be hanging out with the girls.
it was friday night - i hadn't planned to be at my parents house, having not showered for 2 days, trying to maintain sanity with a sick baby. but i was.
and that's where i was supposed to be.

that's my season of life right now.

it's hard for me to hear about my friends, doing things that i can't do, because i'm a mom now.
i have a priority..... another life to take care of.
in the past, i was the social queen. there wasn't an event i would miss.
it's hard now. i've put events on my calendar, only to watch them drift by, unattended.

well............. saturday morning rolls around. and thank goodness God gave me a bit of grace - roman seemed to be feeling a bit better. even though we were up all night......we were off, on our way to lincoln, by mid-morning.

we met at the shower venue. i was so excited to hang up the bunting roman's babysitter and i made :)

and lay out the poms, and the extra fabric for our center pieces :)

finally, the room was ready to go. it looked great.
AND........we had about 3 hours until we needed to back in time for the shower.

all the other girls went home. to shower. to freshen up. to WASH THEIR HAIR.....
what should i do. what should i do. that phrase rang through my mind........ i don't know, i don't know!!!.......i forgot shoes to wear with my dress - so i needed to go get some. my toenails hadn't been painted in who knows how HAIR!?? i hadn't showered in now 3 days...... and YUCK i'm so white. i don't wanna wear a dress with this pasty skin!???.........oh WAHHHhh but i have ROMAN! he needs to take a nap, and YIKES! i need to pump so that he will have a bottle while i'm at the shower........and my HAIR!?!??! and breathe. breathe. breathe.........
one. thing. at. a. time.

so i went to have some lunch with sam.
and what'do'ya'know, God gave me a little more grace - roman fell asleep on the way.
next, it was off to von maur. get me some feet candy.
sam was going to bring me some polish.
mom and dad were on their way, and would meet me at von maur.
dad watched romes while mom helped me pick out some shoes.
then it was off to the hotel room. mom and dad were going to watch little romes, while i was at the i QUICKly through on my dress.
touched up my makeup.
and still didn't shower........shhhhhh...........
let's not discuss my hair.

arriving at a wedding shower with 3 day old hair. that wasn't fixed. and white pasty skin. and feeling fat? (just added the last one for kicks) well, that's just my season of life right now.

and, even though i felt SO self-conscious the whole evening.....
and, even though i despised my peek into the bathroom mirror, because i felt yucky about what i saw......
and, even though i felt surrounded by bronze beautiful, young, vibrant women who weren't wearing nursing bras, who had fresh bouncy hair, and who weren't secretly fretting about how their sick little baby was doing back at the hotel..............

even though i was feeling all of those awful things,
i had a blast.
it took a bit (yes ashley, i WAS a bit out of it for a while....) but i snapped out of my pitty party.
i had a blast.
i snuck away to the hotel for a bit to pump a bottle for romes.
and then i went back out with the girls.
i had a blast.
we stayed out til 1am....... 1 AM!!!!!
i had a blast.

needless to say, my 1:30am bedtime was greeted with a 5:00 am wake time by little rome.
yep, we were up and att'em. WAY.too.early.
we had some breakfast with my parents, and then we hit the road. EVER.
mr. leif welcomed us home, with open arms.

moving on...........
why else haven't i been blogging very often??
well, i've been quite preoccupied.
with this little boobiebutt (i know, weird name, but it just rolls off my tongue)
we're raising a lil' hawk fan. rock chalk, jayhawk, go KU!!!
(mr. leif would say he's total husker. but i'm not opposed to ku)

and guess what else is cool?
this blanket.
she made it.
she sent it to romes.
she made my heart happy.

romedizzle is quite fond of it too.
look at the little 'R' on the tree :)
and it says 'little leif'

......for the past month, i've been in hiding.
i've lost touch with friends.
i've been rude to mr leif.
i've been stressed out to the max at work.
i've been overwhelmed with all of my final assignments before my may graduation.
i've been on overload trying to prepare for my comprehensive exams.
i've been a bad friend (did i say that one yet?)
i've felt guilty about the pathetic job i'm doing at work.
i've been missing roman each day i'm not home.
i've been slowly losing my milk supply, due to not having enough time to pump at work.
i've had mastitis (WORSE.PAIN.EVER).
i've had strep throat.

and that is all just a part of the season of life i am in right now.

i don't like the person i am right now.
but i know i will improve.

he makes me happy.

his sweaty, bead-head, nappy-hair-after-naptime makes me happy.

a visit from grammy abbi makes me happy.

an insta-smile baby makes me happy.

a little cheesehead makes me happy.

skyping with my sissy and niecey charlotte makes me happy.

a chill little dude, hangin on my couch makes me happy.

and a husband..........
who loves me,
who takes care of me,
who is proud of me,
who loves his baby,
who loves his babymomma,
makes me happy.

i've been absent from this blog and i apologize. it's just a busy season of life for me.

i feel the weight lifting though. i do i do.
the first weekend in may i GRADUATE!
the last week of may our elementary school lets out for SUMMER!

i've recently added a goal, to my 'lifegoals' list:
that would be to simplify my life.
what better time to set this goal, then when it's at it's busiest.

i'm really looking forward to the weekend.
we're off to omaha for a wedding.
a wedding that my WHOLE family (on my mom's side) will be at.
a wedding that will have us ALL staying in the same hotel at the same time.
a wedding that will allow romes to experience his first big swimming pool experience.
a wedding that will promote dancing. and laughter. and fancy dresses and high heels.
a wedding that i will wear red lipstick too. or maybe pink?
a wedding that will bring a smile to my face.

i'm in love with this season of life.
it's where God has me right now.
i'll live it to the fullest.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

i remember when facebook just began

does that make me old? maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. regardless, I was going through an old junk-email of mine (the one in my maiden name that i use to sign up for things online) (the one that i check once in a blue moon to delete the million emails i get about junk) (the one that i USED TO actually use) and i found this......... an email sent to my friend celia in new zealand, telling her all about facebook and asking her to join........ lol.
.... almost 6 years ago, SIX YEARS AGO!!!!

Mon, December 12, 2005 9:03:47 PM

hey !!


To: Celia Mandeno


hey ce ..... u need to do this.... go to and sign up using your school email and all that i searched on it and there is an aukland and an aukland tech........ its the coolest thing ever if you wanna see mine.... go to my name is password is caseyjoe love ya....i was just telling lauren we are freaking out if it would work for you its a college website that connects colllege kids across the world, or at least the US love you linds

lol-ing over here.
oh the joy of going through old emails. was i really that dorky? maybe i'll post a few more later........ you know, for your enjoyment.

oh and in case you are wondering where i've been. and why i just post mini blogs of pictures of romes, well, i'm here. i'm alive.

but i've almost drown multiple times in my swarming sea of "crazy busy job/finishing my masters degree and graduating in may/trying to be a new mom/baby who strangely doesn't sleep very well anymore/and i have a messy house"
yep, that sea.
but don't worry. i've just found a floaty and it's countdown.
til graduation? 30 days.
til work is over for the summer? 49 days.

and to go with my floaty is a fake tan. yep. i'm fake tanning. and it makes me feel better, judging? go ahead :) girls gotta do what a girls gotta do it's 15 minutes to just lay there, and not have to think about anything. it's peaceful (and the tanning salon plays country music, so i get to catch up on the latest honky tonk. padonkadonk, sorry, had to)