Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
have you ever tried yoga?
if you're like me, you may have been hesitent with the whole yoga thing.
GO! try it. you'll love it.
however. i'll warn you. it's weird at first. i remember hearing them do a few chants and calming techniques and thinkin, "what the heck? am i joinin a cult?"
but then, you try it, and you realize how relaxed, how stretched, how tone, and good you feel when you're finished. and you are HOOKED! i instantly wanted a cute mat, a new yogi wardrobe, and to be able to put my nose to the floor - you know - be crazy flexible.
i fell in love with 'hot yoga' about a year ago, and then after my 30 days for $30 deal ran out, i had to stop. i was heartbroken. why so expensive??? ugh.
i've never been good at working out from home. i need to go somewhere, and i need people around me. classes are my ideal :) not treadmills. or jogs alone.
so. i've always thought, surely i can connect both my 'quiet time/devotion time/time with the lord' to yoga? i mean they are both about focus, and your mind, and your devotion.....RIGHT!?
hello new obsession? yes. i think so!
(other than babyleif - that i'll of course be drooling over 24/7)
i'm gonna do some research.
i'm gonna look around KC.
i'm pumped about christian yoga.
You are the light of the world... Nameste.
(little confession...i was running really late for work today, so i brought this along in the car with me.......and i ONLY took bites at stoplights - you know, when they were red)
Monday, September 27, 2010
i should tell you that i went to the dr today and i'm 2 cm dilated! yay! and 50% effaced, yay! and i can definitely say there's been some 'different feelings' ......cramping ones........but probably not contractions. i did, however, have 4 people tell me today at work that after they got checked the first time, they started having contractions within next day or two, ah hah!!!!! wink wink!!!!.......goodness......i'm probably being ridiculous here, but hey, it could happen :)
(yeah..........i totally didn't know what dilated or effaced meant 10 months ago.....)
so my agenda?
1. go to the mall and walk around. a lot. and wiggle this baby down down downnnnnnnnn...... (while looking for a nursing tanktop)
2. make puppy chow (actually have mr leif make puppy chow after he's done with monday night football at with the guys from church)
3. make my puppy chow baby leif gifts
4. take pictures of the puppy chow baby leif gifts to show you just how cute they are :)
5. pout that the last thing for the nursery hasn't come in the mail.......hence the fact i haven't posted any pictures of the babyroom yet.......
6. get off the computer THIS instant so i can get going to the mall, gotta get my walk on, and i'll be swinging these hips back and forth, wiggle that baby down!
afer work today we went to have our carseat inspected/have them install it for us, and we got showed up. yup. the cops stood us up. so pshhhhhhhhhhh............
(watch me go over my due date..............you know........now that my hopes are up........i'll probably be at a 2 for the next 3 weeks..........a girl can dream, a girl can dream)
Sunday, September 26, 2010
i know its coming, that first contraction.
the one that will suddenly make me more nervous than i was while getting into my blocks at state track. the one that will make me feel hot and dizzy, because i'll realize ITS happening. the one that will make me think 5 million things at once, then force me to calm myself down and call mr leif. or if we are together at THE TIME then, its the one where i'll turn to mr leif and do a crazy happy freakout dance, letting him know that yes, i had one. the one that may send me into a crazy spin of emotions......that makes me cry at first, because i'm scared, but then it's the one that will cause me to wipe my tears and smile so big because i'll know its THE TIME.
each day i wake up and wonder, is today going to be THE DAY?
each day as i leave work, i tidy up my desk and think, will this be it? will he come tonight?
but. how will i know when it is the one?
i mean........with every little tug, pull, pain, cramp i feel..........i wonder. is this it?
i won't know until it's time. no warnings. no getting out of bed and knowing that yes, today is the day..........
only God knows.
pretty cool huh, that it's already planned out.
pretty comforting :)
because ready or not........he'll come at the most perfect time imagineable.
waiting is hard.
due dates schmoo dates.
it could happen any time.
we're ready, LORD, we're READY!!!!!!!
well not completely........we dont have our babyleif-puppychow-gift-snack-bags ready. we don't even have our list of names squared away, and we REALLY don't have middle names picked out............we don't have our bags completely packed......we don't have baby's 'going home outift' bought(because babyzutano will NOT do online orders at the moment. ugh. until mid october........ugh. and i had one picked out from there like months ago. ugh)...............we don't have the carseat in........and eeeeeeeeeeeeek........i haven't decided how i will do my hair for the big day (very important. lipstick too). braids? pony? straightened and smooth? curly and kinky? (i probably won't care........i probably won't have time to even primp........i know.......but i can pretend to plan for that right??!!)
ok. breathe. whewwwwwwww.
it could still be up to 3 more weeks (don't worry, doc said she wont let me go past 41.)
tomorrow i get checked :)
i've never been more excited for an exam.........tmi? so sorry.
ok. thanks for reading this gobbledbobbled mess of my thoughts..........
i'm off to go snarf down a runza.
mr leif made some :)
mmmmmmm mmmmmmmm gooooooooooood.
Friday, September 24, 2010
yep! earlier this week, i had my bloganny. september 23rd to be exact.
i like this whole blog thing.
i think i'll stick with it.
and to be honest, i had quite a nice time looking back on my year...
well, here's just a few of the tidbits from september to september...
what a rollercoaster of events :)
last september, 2009...
i wrote my first post. mr leif was gone...
i was a mermaid.
i became an aunt. oh yeah, and i got to be in the delivery room for it :)
i tried to create 450 peacemakers.
our house was attacked, by ice...and i cooked a good meal.
i got a 10 year delivery from mr. leif
and we found out we were pregnant.
i thought about wearing a tube top to school.
i ran 5k's in my sleep.
mr leif came home :)
i celebrated the last day of school...with blueberry pancakes.
and i made a video.
we discovered we're havin a minimrleif.
we celebrated 4 years.
i found my dream job.
and i talked about cleavage.
in september 2010....
and mr leif....well, he's been busy practicing his swaddling. i'm his victim.
in all seriousness though......
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
you can get yours from orbit. right here!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
back in JULY we cancelled our cable.
(you know.......savin those pennies.......one less cable bill at a time)
and without a 'converter box', that means we get not a single channel.
just fuzzzzzzzzz when you push power.
however a few things to help with those times when we really just need to vege out are........
- colette and her hubs, quinn, gave us a cord to hook our computer up to the tv. we've only used it like 3 times........but it does work, and its a nice little back up.
- there are 2 redbox locations within 4 blocks of our house. one is inside hyvee, which is just a block to the left, a block to the right, then two more blocks to the left. and the other is inside mcdonalds, which is a block to the left, a block to the right, then another block to the left, and lastly, a block to the right. (because you really needed to know those directions. right?) so anyways. we rent movies on the weekends :)
3. we do this:
not sure what that is?
Monday, September 20, 2010
i mean, come on........you know you are with me on this one. if you have never been pregnant, and you ask someone how far along they are you want months! why? because we all know the '9 months' part of being pregnant (which is actually more like 10-ish or something weird like that)
and. when the preggo lady you're asking responds with "23 weeks"........ you're totally like "oh.....??" because 23 weeks means NOTHING to you. except for the fact that you are quickly dividing that by 4 and then trying to convert those weeks into months so you can both be on the same page.
but. once you are 'with child' you become a 'week-er'. EACH week is a success. EACH week is worth celebrating. and EACH week is a week closer to that magic number: 40 weeks.
there are many mini milestones, like the trimesters, the 20-week ultrasound, the 36ish week declaring you full term........etc......but EACH week is truly a celebration.
then. when you get to the 30's......and specifically that 36th week........you begin counting down days. and that means its so close you can taste it.
although, that's a bit freaky. because you don't taste babies.
but, well, actually, wait! you do taste them. i mean.........who hasn't wanted nibble on their little chunky arms and legs, and cheeks, and feet, and EVERY inch of them!?!?!?!?!
i, for one CAN'T wait to snack on my babygoodness :) (and yes, that sounds so wrong, yet SO right) if you haven't tried nibbling your lippies on a baby's skin. you can try it on babyleif. i'll let you. its better than rootbeer floats.
ok. but back to the whole week thing.
so back on FRIDAY i hit the 36 marker :)
and here, i'm trying to smile.......because yes, 36 weeks brings all sorts of "wow i have a basketball in my belly. and i can't bend over. and i can't sleep. and i pee too much" feelings......
so now.......cheers to 36 weeks AND AND AND (wait for it..........) 4 DAYS!
and in 3 DAYS i'll be to the 3 week countdown.........(37 weeks, ehemmm, your translation)
yeah, yeah..........someone's excited to meet this minimrleif.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
it's the book that i'm reading, for a bible study i'm so graciously indulging in on wednesday nights.
after just one night........after just one chapter.........i've quickly realized it is everything and more i've been needing. it's everything and more that i've been lacking in. it's the Lord, working in me, and it's the most amazing feeling ever.
i couldn't wait to delve into chapter 2 just moments after finishing chapter 1. but when i still had to answer my questions, and memorize my verse, i decided......i'm going to stay on schedule, and just indulge in one chapter a week.
so yes. each week along with reading the chapter, we are being challenged to memorize a verse. the verse is found within the chapter :) and i'm so excited to begin memorizing. i've actually experienced quite the blessing my lifetime.......for 9 years (kindergarten through 8th grade) i was required to memorize a bible verse each week of school. you see, i went to a private/christian school growing up, and that was part of the curriculum. however, it saddens me as i've come to the realization, that i've lost so many of those verses somewhere up in my mind.......they aren't easily flowing from my lips..... but now. as an adult. i can relearn them. and they will be the treasures of my heart. golden words that will flow into the hearts of my children. (so yeah. i better get memorizing.........or the only thing that will be flowin is my rootbeer smelling breath. because, you know, i like rootbeer. and i have rootbeer floats. a lot)
back to the b-study.
calm my anxious heart. wow. just the title speaks volumes.
now is the part of the post where i wanted to link to all the anxieties i've been struggling with lately, but then i realized, i would be here til at least midnight (and its only 7:23) trying to link them all. in other words. anxiousness has consumed me lately, and its not good people.
as i look at my past. i would NEVER, yep NEVER say that i've dealt with anxiety. i've never been much of a worrier. but then, as i examined further........i realize that the Lord has blessed me with such an overflowing abundance of blessing, that i haven't been challenged to confront worry. i haven't been challenged to confront anxiety. i haven't had to. i haven't had to work towards contentment. i've been content. because the Lord has, so far, set a life before me which has been quite easy to be content with.
i am facing a battle with contentment. and i'm not winning.
however, just when i felt as if i was slowly drowning in discontentment, just when i felt like i was rounding the last curve of 300 hurdles race (which, if you haven't ran one, is brutal.......especially that last curve), the Lord swept in.
it's my intent. (notice i say intent, not plan) to post a weekly digestion of each chapter in my book. and as my heart is transformed. as it becomes content. i hope yours will too. but really.....in all seriousness........i'll pray that you, my readers, will find your contentment in him :)
ok. so that was my intro.
let's get down to business.
"i am not saying this because i am in need, for i have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. i know what it is to be in need, and i know what it is to have plenty. i have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want. i can do everything through him who gives me strength. philippians 4.11-13
did you know he wrote that as someone who's been imprissoned. in a dark and dreary dungeon, chained to a guard. (amongst being beat, misunderstood, and deserted)
i challenge you to learn that verse. tape it your mirror. do it!
the thing with contentment is that its something we can learn. we have to make it a happen.
contentment is infused into us through His word. if we are in his word, we become more content. it will consume us. we'll be infused. (dillow says its like a tea bag sitting in your mug, the tea gets stronger as it seeps in)
how do i find contentment when i battle with such control issues? its funny isn't it, as we look at our lives. we want control, but the amount of 'uncontrollables always out-weigh the controllables'. i laugh as i think about how i find this a fault in my life. you see.....when i work with students at school, one of my goals is to channel their focus onto the things they can control..... can they control that their parents are divorced and their mom and step mom are always fighting? no. but they can control how they handle this situation in terms of their reaction and how they get through it. sooooo.......its just funny. that i preach it. but i can't do it.
i am control hungry.
i want to find the perfect childcare.
i want to finish the year and then stay home with the baby.
i want to raise the baby doing this and that and this and that.
what i've realized is that through most things i can trust god. i can surrender. BUT when he seems to be moving at too slow of a pace, then i try to step in a oragnize the situation a bit, you know, make a few phone calls, miss a few prayers, take a few things into my own hands. the author, linda dillow, has helped me realize that when i'm tweaking things 'a bit' and trying to 'help god along' that i'm developing my anxious heart. i'm basically saying, and i quote her "god you're not doing what i think needs to be done, so i'll help you out!"
JI Packer says.......contentment is accepting what God sends because we know he is good, and so it is good.
i've been trying to trust. to surrender. but i'm mixing my own strength and desire in, and its not working.
when i pray, i do ask for the lord to do his will........but deep in my heart, is where my desires resinate. asking for only his will to be done is something i pretend to do, but not really do. really, what i'm usually saying is, 'lord show me your will, your plan, for our child and who will care for him. show me your will for me in my career..........but please let your will be for me to be home. ok thanks god'.
why do we think our contentment is related to circumstances? i do it all the time.
however, i learned that true contentment is seperate from our circumstances, its a state of my heart and not of affairs.
i know i've blabbed on.......
and its been quite the helter-skelter blabbling post.........
i want to leave you with something quite concrete.
actually 5 things.
5 things that make up a prescription for contentment, straight from linda dillow's book:
- never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather
- never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else
- never compare your lot with another's
- never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise
- never dwell on tomorrow.....tomorrow is God's, not ours.
i can't wait to nestle into chapter 2.
i can't wait to experience transformation.
i'm on my way to contentment.
i'm on my way to a calm heart.
(baby steps, people, baby steps)
this will take years.........but i've gotta start somewhere :)
and join me in a prayer of thanksgiving for THIS post.
(ps. i heard all about this on klove this morning......and was practically sobbing on the way to work as they read his post about the morning of sept 14th........i just couldn't not share!)
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
ps. if he begins to feel a bit rusty with the ole' swaddling techniques, mr leif said he'll practice by swaddling me........suppose we need to round up quite the large blanket for that.
don't worry though. if i do get swaddled. i'll be sure to have my photo taken, you know, by the swaddle-pro.
Friday, September 10, 2010
and just about the time I felt so worn out....
just about the time i was ready to give up....
(because racin down these school halls is a bit tiresome for a 35 week preggo)
He came through.
He gave me grace.
and now i can keep on truckin'.
i'm glad i serve someone like that.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
(are we not the most diverse family you've ever seen!? love it!)
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
christmas card photo!?!? probably not.
i'm sure we'll want to show off the 'real thing' then :)
i have more to say than silly jokes about mr. leif's manbaby-weighted-attachment thingy.
you see, the purpose of having the baby-daddy's put on this vest, is to give them a better picture of what the baby-momma is experiencing, so they might be more sympathetic towards them. to understand the uncomfortableness and awkwardness of carying a child :) they ask them to lay down, switch sides, bend over, tie their shoes....etc.....
why? because sometimes men need a little push in the whole sympathetic category.
not mr. leif.
he's everything a sympathetic baby-daddy should be :)
really though........i'm so thankful that this vest wasn't really an eye-opener for him, he's already showed his appreciation for what i'm going through long before our childbirth class.......and i know he'll continue to show it into the wee hours of labor and beyond :)
Saturday, September 4, 2010
on this, the first husker game day of the season............
i'm not with my besties. not crashin' tailgates. not rompin around lincoln.............. BUT, i have a babe on my right and a babe in my belly :)
so i'll take the trade..........
Friday, September 3, 2010
kinda like this fine female:but now i'm in a pretty good place, emotions-wise.
i mean heck, i think i can really do this whole pregnancy thing at least 3 more times.
then our 4 kids can share a room.
you know, like this cutie patootie below:
hold up...... i'm dreamin.......
i have this strange feeling i'll end up with all boys......
so it will probably look more like this.
and i'd be ok with that:
i'll still make their lunches into faces.
because i'mma be a cool mom like that.