how do you wait...

...to go into labor?


seriously.

i know its coming, that first contraction.

the one that will suddenly make me more nervous than i was while getting into my blocks at state track. the one that will make me feel hot and dizzy, because i'll realize ITS happening. the one that will make me think 5 million things at once, then force me to calm myself down and call mr leif. or if we are together at THE TIME then, its the one where i'll turn to mr leif and do a crazy happy freakout dance, letting him know that yes, i had one. the one that may send me into a crazy spin of emotions......that makes me cry at first, because i'm scared, but then it's the one that will cause me to wipe my tears and smile so big because i'll know its THE TIME.

each day i wake up and wonder, is today going to be THE DAY?
each day as i leave work, i tidy up my desk and think, will this be it? will he come tonight?

but. how will i know when it is the one?
i mean........with every little tug, pull, pain, cramp i feel..........i wonder. is this it?

i won't know until it's time. no warnings. no getting out of bed and knowing that yes, today is the day..........
only God knows.
pretty cool huh, that it's already planned out.
pretty comforting :)

because ready or not........he'll come at the most perfect time imagineable.

waiting is hard.
due dates schmoo dates.
it could happen any time.

we're ready, LORD, we're READY!!!!!!!

well not completely........we dont have our babyleif-puppychow-gift-snack-bags ready. we don't even have our list of names squared away, and we REALLY don't have middle names picked out............we don't have our bags completely packed......we don't have baby's 'going home outift' bought(because babyzutano will NOT do online orders at the moment. ugh. until mid october........ugh. and i had one picked out from there like months ago. ugh)...............we don't have the carseat in........and eeeeeeeeeeeeek........i haven't decided how i will do my hair for the big day (very important. lipstick too). braids? pony? straightened and smooth? curly and kinky? (i probably won't care........i probably won't have time to even primp........i know.......but i can pretend to plan for that right??!!)

ok. breathe. whewwwwwwww.
it could still be up to 3 more weeks (don't worry, doc said she wont let me go past 41.)

tomorrow i get checked :)
i've never been more excited for an exam.........tmi? so sorry.

ok. thanks for reading this gobbledbobbled mess of my thoughts..........
i'm off to go snarf down a runza.
mr leif made some :)
mmmmmmm mmmmmmmm gooooooooooood.