so where were we.......
.....oh yes, i was floating away in epidural land.
you know, i was actually quite scared to get the epidural. however, the IV was acutally worse than the epidural. the pain meds i had received prior to the back-stab, totally took the edge off. before i knew it, it was over, and i was feeling numb. it was 6 am.
i didn't think i'd be going through this. the epidural part. you see, a couple months ago during our childbirth classes i became empowered to try and birth this babe the all-natural way. epidural-free. i began thinking that my labor would be faster, and i would 'know when to push' because i would be able to feel the contractions coming......... i really was convinced i would at least try to last as long as i could before screaming 'numb me!!!!' well. i DID make it to 5 cm before the epidural came. but i wasn't going to last any longer. i am so glad i made the decision.
mr leif opened the computer and went to my playlist.......he played some of my favorite songs, and i drifted off into a sleepy relaxed state for a while.
the nurses checked my every hour. my body worked like magic - doing just what it was supposed to. opening a centimeter each hour.
it seemed to follow this type of schedule - give or take a few minutes :)
6 am - 5 cm
7 am - 6 cm
8 am - 7 cm
9 am - 8 cm (call dr. nichols at the clinic and have her head to the hospizzie. time to deliver baby leif!)
10 am - 9 cm
11 am - 10 cm
at this time, i was feeling a strong STRONG urge to have a bowel movement (sorry, i know, tmi) but really, with every contraction i was like, "ohmy ohmy ohmy - this is awkward" however, i knew that it was a sign the baby was as low as he could go, and would make his debut soon!
the nurse says its time to get ready.
its almost time to push.
uh. oh. lindsey has mini panic attack.
really, i did. i got scared. they were setting up the table, positioning my bed, bringing the big overhead light down from the ceiling, and in came dr. nichols.
it was happening. the moment that we'd been waiting for. could i do this? was i ready? ahhhhhh????!
i quickly asked if i could have a popsicle. (they offered me one earlier, and i turned it down)
YES they said! so mr leif went to the dad's refreshment room and snatched me a popsicle :) i ate it like i eat my mac n cheese, chomp chomp swallow, as fast as i could..... so mr leif got me another one. and another one.
3 popsicles later, i was shaking in nerves, but my tummy felt calm. my lips were now purple. (the 3rd popsicle was grape). and i had no choice but to listen to their cues. it was time to push. time to have this baby.
mr leif was on one side, a nurse on the other, and dr nichols straight ahead.
before i even began pushing dr nichols suddenly exclaims,
"oh we can see his head already! do you want to touch it?"
at that point i thought to myself, oh my goodness, this is totally like the kardashian girl. what is she going to ask me next? if i want to catch my own baby?
mr leif went first. then i did. eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!! that was his HEAD!!!!! and wow there was lots of hair!!!
ok, i can do this.
i pushed about 7 times. pausing to look at mr leif and smile. i wanted him to know that even though my face was screaming 'im in pain' that i really wasn't. that i was ok.
then, out of no where, my dr. explained the baby was having major stress. his heart was beating WAY too slow. he was sitting in the birth canal. and it wasn't good. she quickly rambled off that she was going to either need to use forceps (sp?) or we would need to have an emergency c-section. WHAT? i wasn't prepared for this. she followed up her sudden news with the comment that she would highly suggest forceps. so - we went with it. we love our dr nichols. so we trusted her. we said forceps.
she responded with, "ok, i'm going to give you one more chance to push. if you can get his head out with the next push we won't need to do forceps. if not - we will"
somehow, somewhere, some sort of crazy womenly strength came over me and i pushed as hard as i could. a push that would declare everthing was fine. his head was out. we did it. no forceps. no c-section.
and with one more push...
our baby came.
he was here.
hairy head and all :)