Monday, June 11, 2012

cheap love

yeah i know, risky title.
but let me explain...

a few years ago, mr leif and i spent time hoppin around from places like chicago, to florida, to jamaica, to puerto rico.
we'd fancy ourselves with fun happy hours down on the plaza quite frequently.
we'd join sand volleyball leagues, and we were over at the siner's {hi colette!} at least once a week for a dinner and some wine.
things were fun.  things were easy.  things were good.

[fyi, obvi it wasn't all perfect.  i mean, throw in both of us working long hours, me going back to grad school, and him working in st louis for almost a year.   and, also the fact that life isn't perfect.  never ever.   it's not easy.  sin always finds a way to creep in.  
even then in our easy days, there was jealousy, exhaustion, boredom, discontentment.  and i could go on.]

but i'm learning the secret to happiness. to contentment. {less of me, and more of HIM}

where was Jesus in all of that.  where was the gospel.  and what of all that was for his glory?
yes.  the trips were fun.  [MAN were they FUN!!!] 
and yes.  we had a great time together going out, playing on teams, hanging with friends.

but, social life can be a black hole for me.  always sucking me in further.
i always want more.  
more trips. more friends. more events. 
none of them, if they aren't centered around His truths, fulfill me.

{less of me, more of HIM}

there are still times now, in our new life as parents, that we crave the old days.
as our anniversary comes up in a couple weeks, once upon a time we had planned to go to the dominican, next.  or maybe back to chicago.  maybe a roadtrip to the coast?
and, theres a ginormous part of us that wishes we could just hop on a plane and go.  like we once did.
and as easy as i tell myself those things won't fulfill me.  or us. or our marriage, i can easily tell myself they will.  i go back and forth.  i try to keep focused.  but i'm so easily swayed.

i'm so thankful.  so grateful for the Lord's grace.
it fills the gaps of discontentment.  it fills the gaps of jealousy.  and it fills the gaps of wanting more.
the gospel of grace is enough.  more than enough.
it overflows me.

and i'm thankful for our community here in kansas city.  our friends and our church.
they fill our gaps too.
i've been joining in with this amazing movement []:
and, our passage for this morning was perfect.  just what i needed.
which doesn't surprise.  the Lord always knows what we need from His word.  and he takes us there:

“But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.” I Timothy 6:11

but back to my title.
cheap love.
mr leif and i are having fun substituting our international vaca's and weeknight hotspots for a new kind of fun.  and it's JUST as good.  trust.

sometimes, it's just in the form of little lovetankfillers.  
donuts, for one, is a cheap way to my heart.

it's convo and coffee, by the firepit.

and it's impromptu lunch dates at home, in the backyard, a walkin through the creek. 

it's quick makeup applications, so he continues to fall in love with those ruby lips,
and it's sippin on a brewsky together.  [we have a hankering for mexi beers :)]

a couple years ago, i would have said BORING to all of those things.
but it's so beautiful, how the Lord works in your heart.
He helps you learn how to be still.  slow down.  and appreciate what He's given you.
and it's right there in front of you.

yes.  we still dream to someday pick up traveling again.
we have hopes to go to europe, wine country, nyc, and the dominican.
but it may never happen and that's ok.
there's a glorious final destination waiting and i can't imagine anywhere more beautiful to explore.


Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.


  1. Thanks for writing this. Amen to all you have said. Sometimes even my lofty plans for what we can do with future money can be distracting and disheartening to me, thanks for the reminder of God's bomb grace and the reminder that its OK if we never get to do those things, bc Something FAR greater is in store. AWESOME!. ps I swear I don't even remember how I stumbled upon your blog, but every time I read it I say, "I swear if we didn't live millions of miles away we would SOOOOOOOOOOOOO be friends":)

  2. i just love you.
    and i'm [trying] to keep up with that soul detox too. so good!, didn't you just go to jamaica, mun?

    oh yes.
    you totally still travel thilly!

  3. molly junesy. while yes it was a huge blessing, traveling to jamaica with a 16 month old and my in laws wasn't exactly the kind of romantic gettaway case and i crave ;) ;) ;)
    we'll have to start getting creative in KC......we don't got no sweet resorts round these parts.
    HA! just holiday innnnnnnnnnnnnnns.