Wednesday, February 19, 2014

ready to write.

oh hi!
it's been so long. too too long.
too long since i've let my fingers loose on this keyboard.  and i've missed it.
there's been a gaping hole in my routine, the way i process life, and i attribute it to my absence here.
writing, for me, is my therapy.

not only do i find freedom in releasing my thoughts, my dreams, my joys and my sorrows, i also find that it fulfills my desire for a connection on a deeper level with people.
people fuel me.
being vulnerable and honest, is like fresh air to my lungs.

in this small space online, i feel free to be me.

now hold up.
before you all go, "whoa. who is this insane person and what did she do with sane lindsey?"
let me explain.

i've battled with the desire to write and write and write over this past year, but my desire has been met with the most forceful insecurity on what to share.
i'm an all or nothing kinda girl.
should i just put it all out there?
or should i just keep it in my private circle?

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

how do i boast in my weakness without being real?  
how can His power be made perfect, if i can't accept, embrace, and celebrate my areas of weakness? 

so then, i found myself with a craving to share.
but i couldn't just share my story without making it about my children, and husband, as well.
and there's a part of me that is willing to be REAL about myself, but hold back out of "respect" for my boys and my love.  i mean, who am i to reveal their messy stuff?

well, i've prayed, and stewed, and prayed, and am confident in what has been revealed to me.

I know the Lord will be glorified in my mess, if I use it to point back to Him...His perfectness...His Son who came to rescue....and His grace that so incredibly meets not only me BUT my boys, and husband, right there in our mess.
and. well.  i guess i feel like i'm blowing out my flame if i don't share it.

it's our story.  so i'm ready to share.

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