i can't help but keep reading...

...Cole's Post over and over again.

i know i linked to it before, but i really really am obsessed with it at the moment...

so, i'm posting it below. with COMPLETE props to her, she's a beautiful writer.

cole writes.......
"So right now I’m studying Daniel. It’s about a young guy who was taken captive away from his home and brought to Babylon. Now when I think of someone being taken captive I think of someone dressed in rags, and treated as a slave. But this wasn’t the case. Let me paint a picture of Babylon-think rich, seducing, overindulgent, and incredibly self-centered. Daniel was brought here and because he was young, intelligent and handsome he was offered more than just a taste of its intoxicating world.

Picture yourself in your teenage years being taken from all you’ve known and thrown into a very foreign and luxurious life living in a palace, feasting off the king’s table and being “enlightened” by all the best scholars and sages. Imagine having every temptation, every possible manner to indoctrinate your beliefs thrown at you. Could you stand firm against such an enticing culture? I asked myself this question and I’m not sure I would have at 15 or 16. But Daniel did. He resolved not to defile himself and then practiced that resolve every day. He was consistent in his integrity. This is such a deep story and I am learning so much from it. I could talk about this for hours but I will keep it as short as I can for attention span sake.

I can’t help but see parallels between the Babylonian mentality and our culture today. Babylon philosophy- younger is better, appearance is everything, you have to be intelligent, social status matters, 'I am and there is none besides me.' Sound familiar to you? The first night I started this study I ran into the store to pick something up and I noticed coffee mugs for sell by the register that read I LOVE ME (lindsdey inserts: 'GAG' to the coffee mug.....seriously people).

A light clicked on inside of me. And ever since that night I’m noticing the similarities everywhere. I really want to be like Daniel. I want to be able to resist the charms. I don’t want to be so absorbed that no one knows I belong to Jesus. The past few weeks have not been easy. It’s hard to let go of something that feels so good. It’s an everyday challenge to resolve in your heart not to compromise and be deliberate in your actions to make sure you know which influence will win out." -cole

lately, my weight gain and body image are really starting to bother me. i didn't realize i would be affected so much by 'getting bigger' during pregnancy.

i know i know, you all think 'but pregnancy is beautiful, your supposed to grow, its for the babe, etc...'
but,

i wouldn't be honest with myself, with you, if i didn't admit to this struggle. to think i'm only 23 weeks, and to know that i will get bigger is hard for me to comprehend. i'm not talking about my belly. i think that's cute. but my butt, chest, and thighs are hard for me to accept right now....but i'm trying, that counts right?!?!!
so,
cole's post about daniel is refreshing for me.
why am i so caught up in my body image?
why am i comparing myself to my cute/nonpregnant friends?
why am i letting the issue of weight gain bother me?
i wish i wouldn't
but i do

so, like cole wrote:
"I don’t want to be so absorbed that no one knows I belong to Jesus."
and to tack this onto my 30 day challenge....

i want to radiate to those around me that i belong to Jesus.
that i am happy, joyful, thankful, and OK with my body image.
i will stop responding to, "your such a cute pregnant person" with..........
"yeah, thanks, but i feel huge and have gained a lot of weight, and i don't like my butt and thighs...."
instead.

i will say thank you. and smile.