well, yesterday i wokeded up feeling great. the Lord filled me with peace while i slept.even though the day was long, and i didn't seem my romeo until 9pm, i made it through..........even if it meant pumping while driving to my night class and then having a brief freak out moment when i realized i was sitting next to a semi truck at a stop light. but, that's where i am in life right now. balancing lot's of stuff.
i've come to the conclusion, that i hit a low, really low, and now it's time to crawl back sanity again. crawl back to a place where i feel competent. a place where i can breathe. a place where i can cross things off my to-do list like no other.
strangely, dumping out those thoughts was therapeutic. however, once i reread the post, i was a bit embarassed, and wanted to delete it. but no. it's me. it's real. it's where i am/was/still am...........
anyways, please join me in celebrating the good things in life :)
i do best with plans, tasks, and lists................ so i'm giving myself homework. tonight.
this just looks yummy. it has nothing to do with this post.
homework:
I can't take another step in this game of life without complete surrender. i'm at a point where i don't feel like i will make it through the semester. so, Prayer. like, really long prayer. on-my-knees prayer.
In thankfulness for my cozy little home, i will tidy up - not crazy, but just enough to calm my 'ick, i don't like a messy house' heart
to break free from my down in the dumps thinking, i will Write down 10 things that i am happy about. scratch that...... i will paint them onto a canvas. and i will hang it in my home.
Listen to some good music, duh.
i'll write 5 random thankyou notes to friends who might need a pick me up or just a hello.
PS. roman's babysitter is sick today. gotta call just before 6am. when it rains it pours, ey? mr leif is playing daddy daycare, hehehehe!
PSS. i was wiggled.
Linds! I meant to commment yesterday & must have gotten distracted b/c apparently I didn't ever do it! But what I wanted to say to you was this: You are an amazing mother, friend & person. There's always going to be the low moments in life & when those come around (which they do every time that I am on a work trip) what helps is if I call a friend (call me, I will make you smile!) and write 5 things that I am grateful for in my life. It will make you push the crazy thoughts to the back of your mind & remind you of what's good in your life. Thank you for being so honest in your posts....sometimes I feel like you are speaking right to me!!! And you know which post I am referring to :) Love you!!
ReplyDeleteSO good sister. loove this. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteLinds- I read yesterdays post on my phone and my heart broke for you as last week I was having some of the same feelings. Please remember that you are doing an AWESOME Job! My sister once told me that after you have kids you will feel like a bad mom a bad wife and a bad employee, and to remember that you can't give 110% to everything so do the best you can and don't be so hard on yourself. Just know that thigs will even out as you continue to get used to all the new hats you are wearing.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear that someone else pumps in the car. Once I went back to work I pumped while I drove more times than I can remember! I have to tell you once you are free from the pump you will feel like you gained a ton of time!
My homework for the month is to schedule a time with you and some other moms we/I know and have an hour break at starbucks or panera. I think it would be so fun to just sit and chat while the daddys take advantage of some quality time with their little ones. :)
Have a great day!
Wrote a little post on surrender recently. It's been on my heart too.
ReplyDeletehttp://mcdonnell418.blogspot.com/2011/02/surrender-and-trust.html
Continuing to lift you up in prayer!