cheers.

this weekend, a dear friend of mine practically begged me to watch roman.

for FREE.

and we had a gift card to dinner.

so, with someone LOVING on my child, and a free dinner?

i'm in.

so is the mister.

we're TOTALLY in.

makeup and boots and jewelry, oh my!

we had way too much fun.

and we ordered drinks.

and we shared our meals.

and we bar-hopped like we were youngins.

and we had SO much fun.

did i tell you we had fun?

oh MAN, we did.

... but then we came home, to our sleeping babe. and we tiptoed into his room. and stood there with hearts so swollen in love for him, our little one.

we miss our old life.

but our new life is crazy-beautiful, amazingly good.

and now, hotDANG we appreciate our date nights!!!!

so thankful.

it doesn't take much for me to spark memories of our young love that once was,

the days of passing him in the halls, between classes at the ripe age of 16.

the days of emailing 5 times a day when he went off to college.

the days of being newlyweds.

the days of having nothing but time and each other, traveling, going out....

beautiful memories.

sparked by just a few hours of time together.

times we'll cherish forever.

but now?

these times, too, we'll look back on.

in a few years......

and we'll remember life with just one little dude :)

daily, i can get drudged down with the ugly, the cold, the dark.

but it's there,

the BEAUTIFUL.

we just have to slow enough to see it.

take the time to enjoy it.

look for it, to be thankful for.

so thankful for my man. my partner in this life.

my brain is working again.

as i opened up the fridge today, staring at each shelf,

intently searching for just the right snack,

the one that might appeal to that darn sweet tooth....

or the one that might strike up my cheesy side.....

perhaps, the one that might load me up carb-style,

i realized something.

how full my mind is.

ideas are flowing.

one thought to another.

thinking, wondering, pondering.

{and i'm not talking about pinterest ideas.}

{these aren't diy ideas, folks}

{these are real life, WOW God...you're speaking to me, ideas}

i've never really slowed down [in life] to experience this.

but i knew i wanted to.

i remember, wishing SO badly that life would relax a bit.

and though, as a momma of a toddler boy ON.THE.GO, i'm not necessarily slowing down physically.......

i'm definitely not strung out in 8 different places anymore.

rather, i'm learning to be intentional about just a few.

when i was working, and going to school, and being and mom, and a wife, and well....a sister, a daughter, and a friend? i was tapped out. emotionally.

i could attend here and there, but really?

truly?

i was surviving.

survival mode.

get up, get dressed. feed the baby. pack the bags.

speed over to day care. rush off to work. leave work, some nights, off to class.

home to cuddle baby, eat something. shower. goodnight.

repeat.

lots of times.

truth is though?

i thrived. i thrive with having to compete.

and for a while there, i was competing with life.

every day was a marathon, and when i hit the pillow, i knew it would happen again the next day.

now let's be real, most have it way more tough than that.

some are battling illness, or balancing the schedules of multiple children, or single-momming it, or whatever other trying things there are going on out there....

but,

for me?

i was at my max with thriving.

though i was making it through.

that's all i was doing.

the motions.

now, however, i've discovered that something so significant was missing.

my thought process.

i didn't know what it was like to truly think or ponder.

i didn't meditate on His precepts.

i just acted. go. go. go.

but now?

i'm learning what it's like to be still.

thinking, pondering.

it's as if i can breathe a bit better.

.....

i've been wanting to blog like crazy,

but i'm torn between what to put out there and what to keep in the comfort of paper and pen, in the privacy of my own journal.

the intention of blogging......for me?

what is it that i'm after.

i don't know.

for the most part?

it's an outlet.

even as i type now, my fingers just go, and half the time i wonder if what i'm saying is crazypants.

i don't picture a particular reader, or audience.

i don't hope to be the next megablogger.

i just type when i have a moment.

i suppose i'll just keep on, keepin on.

i do however have one guideline for 2012:

"may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, o Lord, my ROCK, and my REDEEMER."

psalm 19.14

and because this post wasn't random enough.

or just in case you are bored out of your mind with my rambling.

here's entirely way to many photos that i've dumped from my phone.

let's get you up to speed with the life of the leif's here folks.

before the holiday craziness.....birthday celebrations! and painting with friends! and sitting in cars at costco! and radiating with joy over the littles singing at church!

and in the heart of holiday prep......running errands with mom in my christmas sweater! and reading books with daddy by the tree! and trying on mommy's old high school volleyball shorts! and picking up a prime rib for dinner! [YUCK. i don't like raw meet] and trying out my early gift from grammy!

and smack dab, right during the most wonderful time of the year......road trips to the NE! and snuggles with charlotte! and dumping out grammy's puppy's water. everywhere! and getting happy meals, because we drove across the whole state of NE! and enjoying the great weather!

and now that it's january?...........chuckling at baby's shoes / daddy's shoes! awwww! and dumping out the parmesan cheese EVERYWHERE, and then licking it off the floor! oh, a few days before the cheese? dumping the rice everywhere! and most importantly? playdates with friends :)

whew.

there ya have it.

good night ;)

PS-i bought ONE veggie tales dvd for roman. and now?

i WANT ALL OF THEM.

the end.

a little confession.

today i wanted to shove roman's broccoli and beans and peas {and all the other MILLIONS of things i tried to feed him} INTO HIS MOUTH.

i didn't though.

DUH.

but the thought came across my mind.

how IS IT that he can snarf up noodles. and ice cream. but spit out and throw his veggies all over the place. and his fruit. and yogurt [COME ON, yogurt used to be our go-to food!!!!]

all of his food. ALL of it. ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE.

i KNOW he's teething.

i KNOW he's just testing my limits.

i KNOW it's a little phase.

but, hotdang.

today, i thought, "hmmmm, i'm going to pretend like he hasn't been boycotting food and just make him a nice little well balanced lunch" [like normal] [normal=2 weeks ago....when things were going good].

so this is plan A

a few blackberries, some applesauce, a few peas, some noodles and sauce, some water, yogurt, and cheese. ALL nicely placed on a cute little plate in front of ME. because goodheavens, you don't wanna see what happens if i let him get his paws on the plate. FOODFIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yes.

there i was, pretending like we were going to have a nice little lunch together...

....."mmmm blackberries roman!! you love these!!!"

he opens his mouth, in goes the berries....

......"pfffleeeh"

OUT go the berries.

repeat that little stint over and over and over with ALL OF THE THINGS on his plate.

fail. fail. fail.

except plain noodles.

breathe lindsey, breathe.

plan B.

turn on the lion king.

i know, i know, it's not good to put tv on for the kid when he's eating, BUT FOR THE LOVE OF TIMON AND PUMBAA, i was desperate.

so there we were.....

jammin out to the circle of life, simba has just been born, and NOW I ATTACK, in slips the pea. {hehehe, i chuckle to myself. im so sneaky. he'll surely eat the pea now!!!}

BAM!

the pea is thrust through the air, by romans (adorable) little fingers

followed by the one word that makes a toddler mom shiver, "NO!"

WHAT?

yes, he said NO.

{he learned that over our 10day stint back home in the NE}

plan C.

inhale, exhale, chuck this one up to "he must be teething like a madman".....

and pull him out of his chair.

cue: afternoon tickle session. milk. and NAP!

afterall,

i LOVE this kid like crazy.

even though he's boycotting all things nutritional.

i could SMOOCH him all.DAY.LONG.......

oh, the joys of parenting.

well, what-dya-do? dust myself off and try again tomorrow ;)

a 3 hour adventure.

so yesterday, roman's molars were raging war against us. yep, him AND me.

teething children are just a sad issue altogether. pain. slobber. no appetite. no sleeping.

and....... a momma who wants to sneak off to the mall and sit in the nordstrom's shoe area [just to look!] while sipping a latte.

but yea.

so, it was 50 degrees. which is technically "warm" for the midwest this time of year.

and it was sunny. double bonus.

so i packed up our STUFF.

diaper bag? check!

coat and blanket for the stroller? check!

momma's coat? check!

snacks and water cup? check!

purse? check!

ok, then. let's GO!

oh, one more,

camera? check!

......

phone? no check.

keys? no check.

the phone would just HAPPEN to still be in the house,

the keys would just HAPPEN to still be on the counter, in the house,

the garage keypad code thingy would just HAPPEN to not work. at all.

the car with garage door opener would just HAPPEN to be locked [i dont always lock my car, ahem....small town habbit.]

.... good news is i don't panic in situations like these. actually, i feel like i'm quite rational and calm. and goodness. we needed that frosty to freeze his gums. [that sounds so mean] so off we went. to wendys. with a quick first stop by our bank to use their phone and let mr leif know we were locked out....and then he said, i'll come home soon, but then i'll have to go back to work, and all those 25 minute drives didn't make sense to me, but he said he'd come when he could, and well, i guess just find us walking the streets? HA!

so we spent about 45 minutes in wendys.

frosty.

fries.

YUM.

i decided to call mr leif and let him know to just wait until 5, we would just go to the community center and kill time. after all, i packed up ALL of our STUFF. pshhhh.

however.

the wendy's lady wouldn't let me use their phone.

but, a nice man in the ordering line did.

...

so after wendy's we were off.

on our trek.

to the community center.

the sweet lady didn't make us pay for our time there, because of our "predicament".....although i was prepared to pay with debit card out! nice folks round these parts, i tell ya.

oh man,

oh man,

OH MAN,

roman was INLOVE with watchin the guys play bball.

he was hootin and hallerin BIGTIME.

so excited everytime they ran down the court!

and holycow. i was just as excited as i imagined him playing some day {and me being the psycho mom fan in the stands.....} {i'll probably make a shirt, something like, "roman's #1 fan", you know....}

but it wasn't 2 minutes in, that he chucked his pacifier over the railing and down onto the court.

thankgoodness, the sweet bball boys stopped their game [with quite the chuckle] to toss his paci back to him ;)

... we killed about an hour and 45 minutes at the community center. roman was not happy to leave. he threw a fit. a huge one. awesome. ... but not long after that we went to a different bank. used a sweet teller's cellphone. called mr leif. he was just walking out to his truck. to come get us! it was 4:50. crap. {with traffic} we now had to kill at least 30 minutes walking around the neighborhood. the sun was setting. it was getting cold. but romes was cozy. and quite entertained by the candycane from the bank. so while i walked and pushed. he slept. all was well. and with the toot of a horn, i turned my head to see mr leif's maroon bomber, i mean beautiful truck, coming down the street. ahhhhh. homeSWEEThome. we had fun. and it made me totally realize how simple life can be when you're just forced to just roam around. sounds weird, i know. but, countless times i stopped so roman could watch the cars go by, and just prayed. all of my blessings in life were being constantly revealed to me throughout the afternoon on our little adventure. i was pouring with thankfulness. happiness. joy. and content. contentment can be a battle for me. but yesterday was so refreshing. the simplistic allowed me to relish in what i've been given. living for HIS glory ;)

christmas 2011

we spent christmas in nebraska :)  with our families :)

10 days, 7 gatherings.
whew.

but it was soooooo good to be "home" again!!

and the back:

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