Saturday, May 26, 2012

last week, our family experienced heart throbbing devastation.

[part of our big gang]  {taken last week....exhausted, yet trying to help celebrate our grandma leona's birthday}
in our giant family,
there's more than just the beautiful relationships, the trust, the love, the support.
there's more than the memories of playing school in grandma's basement and spending every sunday at her house...all of us..... {that's a lot of roast dinners and mac and cheese suppers}
there's more than just our christmas sleepovers, and random weekend gatherings.
there's more than riding down steps on mattresses, playing with each other's pets and nintendos.
{my cousins kate, megan, and vanessa totally had a horse named spanky. HA!}

{i got to spend THREE days with charlotte. my favoritest niece ever ;)}
there's what happens when tragedy strikes.
there's the beautiful way we all pull together, driving in, flying in, whatever it took.
we gathered together.
and though it was long, difficult, emotional, and was good.
[a few of the little 2nd cousins.  romy's in the middle! charlotte on the left, hudson on the right!]
{entertainment during a late night hotel stay, the night before the funeral}
together, we got to process the amazing journey jamie was on,
and how her smile, as beautiful as ever, was even MORE beautiful in heaven,
and how her love for music, would be blown out of the water, with the music she hears in heaven,
and her dancing? that too would be maximized to the millionth in heaven.
we helped each other find comfort in the idea that she, dear 23 year old jamie, would die and now live, 
forever young.

[we did lots and lots of driving]

and we celebrated that she knew Jesus as her savior, finding comfort in psalm 139, knowing the lord knows our heart, our anxious thoughts, and that HE will lead us in the right direction.

{and baby pieper snuggles}
and though it all went so fast, and we were off on our own ways once again,
our hearts are still aching.  and yet they are rejoicing.
our ways are not the Lord's ways.  and while we want to be angry,
we stop, take a deep breath, and remember, Jamie is with Jesus.
and then we pray.
we pray everytime we think of her dear sweet husband.
we pray everytime we think of her momma. of her 3 sisters. her 2 nephews.
we pray for them.  their hearts. that they might find comfort. that they might find the strength to put one foot in front of the other, moving forward, without their dear jamie.  
we pray, oh Lord, thy will be done.

[romy was DONE being in the car.]  {just as we pulled in to KC late tuesday, he took to gnawing on his own toes.}

yes, always praying Lord, Thy will be done.

the song, Wildflowers, by tom petty, was played at jamie's was one of her favorites.
i love that song.


  1. my heart grieves for your sweet family, what a heartbreaking loss. :( But, I love that you find your comfort in all those beautiful truths, and that even in the midst of the loss and the pain and the sadness, you can REJOICE!! amazing. You'll all be in my prayers over the next weeks and months as you continue to miss your dear one here on this earth. I didn't know her, but her story is amazing and she was beautiful.
    beautiful post, dear girl. hugs to you. xoxoxoxoxo

    P.S. your family really is amazing, and I've always loved how close you all are... and secretly I used to wish I was your cousin too so I could come to those Sunday family gatherings. ;) I'm SO glad you have all been blessed with each other and that closeness, especially now. love to you all!

  2. i am so sad and devastated for this tremendous tragic loss.

    my heart just feels so so heavy.

    and i know Jesus is's still just hard.

    hugs dear friend.

    thinking of you and praying for you.