archery henry leif :: a birth story

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my birth story with archer was not the most pleasant experience.

it ended beautifully, and there were no life threatening situations.

just weird complications.  

you might think i'm silly for writing about it, but i want to remember it, for some crazy reason :)

i guess crazy birth stories just make the gift of life, of a new itty bitty baby, that much more miraculous. 

and, this is my blog, so i get to write about what i want, right? :) 

and if you are like "ahhh stop now! don't tell us the hard parts! then i'm sorry. 

maybe just skip to the bottom? hehe :) 

also,

someday when i have more time, i'll upload more pictures and the video from this day!

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march 28th, 2013.

today we would meet our baby.

it was hard to say goodbye to roman that morning, i felt like we were leaving him and my mom in a disaster zone, to go have a baby, and continue to disrupt his little life even more.

we got going late.  

who is late for their baby's birth? we were.

but you know, it's not like they could start without us or anything :)

my range of emotions went from anxious, to nervous, to excited, to scared, freaking out, and HUNGRY all on the 15 minute drive to the hospital.

and then i realized i didn't have breakfast.

yay, a sonic cheeseburger the night before, and no breakfast...let's have this baby, ey?! ha.

we checked in, and they broke my water, and then we started walking the halls.

i didn't get to do that with roman, i was in active labor when i went to the hospital with him!

but this time was different.  my contractions were very few and spread out.

so, mr leif and i had a little date right there in the halls of the labor and delivery floor.

hand in hand we strolled around, it was actually a really sweet time :)

blessings, ey?!

after walking around for an hour and a half, we returned to the room and found this little bed.

swoonage.

i think i could have a million babies, just to see this little bed all ready and eagerly awaiting new life :)

oh my.  heart flutters...

they decided to give me a hint of pitocin, to get things going.

my doctor said i was already to a 5, so just sniffing the stuff would send contractions more regularly.

so i sniffed some and bam! there was archer.

kidding.

(bad joke?)

but really, they put a tiny bit in, and whoa, contractions came roaring in like a freight train. 

at the same time i got the pitocin, i asked for the epidural, i knew i needed one to have the other.

and. . . i waited . . . and the epidural didn't come. . .

and my contractions were getting worse. 

and it still didn't come . . . 

so we called for the nurse, and reminded her we were still waiting!

finally he walked in, the anesthesiologist.  [the man i would come to dislike.  a lot.]

he gave me the details of the procedure, and reminded me to how to sit on the bed, hunched over, etc...

and so we began, i hunched over and tried not to move.

he put catheter needle in, and turned to the nurse to get the anesthetics.

she didn't have them. they were in the closet.

whaaaa????

i continued to have contractions, sitting there with the needle in, and tears just started pouring out.

it was horrible!

finally, the anesthetics were in, whew.

what probably was just a few moments, seemed like for.ev.er.

and then the anesthesiologists proceeds to tell me that there was a leak, or "wet tap" and i would probably end up with spinal headaches from a "brain sag".

whatttt?????  why are you using these weird terms??  not now.

why are you telling me these things while i'm still sitting up right WAITING for the numbing to kick in and feeling every single contraction.

cant it wait?

so i responded with, "cool".  

because that's the only word that i could mutter out to get him to stop talking and leave so i could lay down and get through these contractions until the meds kicked in.

and i guess he didn't like my response, because he looked at me and said, "no ma'am, it's not cool".

haha.

oh dear.

whatever dude. 

i just need you to move out of my sight now so i can get on with this baby having stuff. ok? ok!

. . . 

the epidural brought the itchies.... like, everything itched.  

(this didn't happen with roman, what the what?)

and though my sister warned me about her itchy stint, and getting Benadryl and feeling SO groggy....

i still got the Benadryl.

i couldn't stand the itching!

not too long after it was time to push.

however, the Benadryl knocked.me.OUT.

i couldn't even complete a set of three pushes without my heart rate slowing down and feeling like i would pass out.

so, while dilated to a 10, and after several pushes, my doctor said we needed to stop.

the Benadryl needed to wear off, and she thought we could rest for about 30 minutes.

so, i rested.

literally.

i fell asleep for 30 minutes, while they hooked me up to a sugary IV substance to try and give me some energy, and 30 minutes later i woke up, downed two popsicles, and we resumed pushing.

as soon as i began pushing, my nurse needed to leave because she got a phone call from her kid's school, it was urgent.  so a new nurse came to take her place.

it was like God knew i needed to be done with that nurse.

and the new one He sent me?

she. was a GIFT. from God. 

for reals.

she coached me right through, and just a few pushes later, little archer was in my arms :)

and look at him!

my little sweet archer man.

oh man.

i'd do it all over again.

i would i would!

what a wild ride.

and yes, as cliche as it sounds, my heart expanded to a size i didn't know was possible.

more kids, more love :)

i ended up getting those darn headaches, and so i had a blood patch done before leaving the hospital.
after about a week of bed rest at home, i was starting to feel better.

i always knew there were epidural risks,
but i didn't really ever think to worry about them.
i know next time i'll be a bit anxious, but the chances of it happening again are so slim.

i will still get an epidural, if i'm blessed with more babies.
but i think next time i'll try and advocate for myself a little better along the way.
i'll ask for the epidural sooner, and i'll probably ask way too many questions throughout the laboring process.  but hey.  you do what you gotta do.

looking back on archer's birth story, i have such a grateful heart.
was it a bit chaotic? yes.
but when i got to wheel out of that hospital with a new little baby?
gratitude poured over.
God is so good, and i know he gives us these "bumps" to teach us to lean on Him.

i find a reoccurring pattern in my life, whether it's this crazy move, or a wild birth story, or just the struggles of parenting on a day to day basis....
i'm brought to a place of desperation, and i'm left with one choice, to cry out for help.
i'm learning i can't do life on my own.
my Savior wants to walk with me, every step of every day.
it's hard to surrender control sometimes.
we women like to think we run the show :)

but He does.
and it's a beautiful show.