the rest of may.

may was my "getting back to normal" month.

i started feeling better.  more capable as a momma to two littles.

i was spending less time pondering feelings of "i can't do this...i can't do this..." and more time feeling empowered, and strengthened by the idea that when i am weak, my God is strong, and He is enough.  

mr leif, by the grace of God, didn't seem to skip a beat.

he even took up painting, with a baby.

haters gonna hate, but we made sure no paint drips fell on arch.

and the room was well ventilated.  BOOM!

 and with every home renevation, comes lots of accidents.

like this one here:

mr leif broke the leg to my favorite mustard chair, while standing on it, and also dropped the gallon of paint onto our brand new wood floors.  thus destroying a chair, a coffee table, and part of the floor.

but i still love him.

i do, i do.  i love him like crazy.

we spent the next morning with a razor blade trying to save the floors.

and other than a few white cracks...we did a pretty good job.

so naturally, this one goes down in the memory books.

and can i get a fist pump for watching a daddy with his son? presh, i tell ya.  just presh.

ooops! did i say fist pump? heh.  just through an elbow up if you're cool like these two:

may also continued my love affair with this little babe.

i'm infatuated with him.  from head...

to toes. 

all ten of 'em.

may was also a month for adjusting.

adjusting to life with a toddler and a wee little babe.

i tried to take them on a walk one day, with plans to have a picnic in the park

(ha! who knew a walk would be such a scary thing for a mom)

so romes got his little baby and stroller, you know, to be just like momma.

and we were off to the park.

but after multiple meltdowns and a deep down fear we literally wouldn't make it back home and i would be stranded at the park or something irrational like that, i made the decision to stop right there in our tracks and eat lunch on the walking path.  before we even made it to the park.

and then roman asked the whole way home where the park was.

and i lied and said there was no park.

and i held back tears as i just hustled them into the house and felt like a failure.

but as mr leif came home from work i pleaded him to take romes to the park, as i had promised earlier, and they were off.  

oh, such funny stuff, this post partum hormonal stuff.  it's weird on a girl, i tell ya!

very quickly, though, i learned that eating pie right out of the pan would always balm those weary feelings of insecurities in motherhood.  i don't even like cherry pie.  but dude, it helped.

we did, however, make it to the park.

and thankfully we made it a few times before this nasty heat wave set in.

dang girl. it's a sweaty mess out there at the moment.

bananas are mandatory park snacks.

there's no trash. no cooler needed.  and heck, they're healthy.

plus one for the momma team!

oh.  and then there was this one day in may, romes boycotted his nap.

and it was one of those days that i really really needed a little break.

this was not good.

he thought it was funny, momma did not.

momma needed so much chocolate that day.  or hot tamales.  or milk duds.

but romes and I?

we're doin A-ok.

this whole transition on him is going pretty well.

and to make sure he felt special, we even played hooky from church one sunday and daddy took the baby, so we could walk around old navy and eat candy.

it was all sorts of fun.

and good for the momma heart.

and good for the toddler heart.

i hope to never forget how important these one on one dates are.

i used to tell many mommas and daddy's to do this back when i was a counselor, and now, i'm seeing first hand the benefits of this sweet time with my child, alone.

oh may, you were good to us.