a busy boy {21 months}

[disclosure: i wrote this about two weeks ago, but ran out of energy to post it]

[thus, romes is now 22 months]

a fact your really needed to know, i know.

...

oh roman, you're 21 months old.

i know, i know.

why am i still counting  months?

it just seems like i can't quite grasp that you'll be TWO in just a few months.

so, you see, i'm clenching my fists around each month as if the harder my grasp, the longer the month might last.  

you're now ordering your own meal.

here, at RJ's BBQ you precisely asked for hotdogs and cookies.

you're asking for BOB

{bob the builder}

for your morning cartoons.

and i think it's so cute how you sit there all snuggly, watching a show.

{and, well, let's be real, i love the extra sleep i can get as i snuggle in next to you}

 but, it's not too far into BOB, that you're up and ready to roll.

typically, you stack up all your big trucks on the coffee table about 6 times a day.

to say you have an obsession with trucks would be an understatement.

backhoes, loaders, dumptucks, semi trucks, airplanes, helicopters, ambulance, fire trucks, buses, are just a few of your favorites :)

but coming from your mouth, it sounds more like "backees, dumper, shemitruCKs, helicopy, ambuuyance, and busssssss"

did you know you colored all over my clean fresh august?
yep.  i sat down at the table, to fill in our schedule.....and then,
i step away for a moment.
and you? you created a masterpiece, right there on august.
my OCD wanted to go buy a new calendar.
because, i mean, a new month is a FRESH new page!
but then my momma heart sort of loves that i get to see your art, every time i check the calendar.
maybe i'll have you draw on september too?

it's amazing what you've started soaking up.

it seems like i can teach you something new, just one time, and you remember. what the whaaa?

your budding vocabulary is proof fo sho.

we'll do puzzles, and i'll label each piece, and then before i know it, your labeling them on your own.
you da champ, romeslice.

your attention span is nothing longer than really short, but boy......if you could last a wee bit longer,

i'd get my little teacher fingers moving and set up a little preschool sesh for ya.

oh romes.  you've become my bff.  

i'm quite certain i've never spent so much time with anyone else, in my life, ever.

from the crack of dawn until sunset, and even a few moments during the night, it's me & you, kid.

and i love it.

EVERY single day, i'm grateful i was given the opportunity to stay home and raise you.

even the when we are on trip number, outside to go dig in dirt. reeeeeeeaaally fun for momma.

i may not be doing the most perfect job,

{you still have a love affair with both paci and bottle, whoops}

{you enjoy throwing yourself down in a full body slam during a temper tantrum, eeeeeeeee}

{you sort of boycotted veggies, and i sort of give you way too many fruit snacks, yikes}

but i know even with the countless splatters of sin that find their way into our days, we're given grace.

and as a momma, i can't really imagine clinging to anything else than my savior, 

who sees my failures and matches them with a batch of compassion, forgiveness, and grace.

romes talks, like all day long {and i love it}

"outside peeeeese daddy"

"what do you say?", as mr leif opens the door and they walk out onto the deck.

"taaantuu" {thank you}, romes so glady replies.

and then what happens next melts my heart even more than the little conversation that just happened.

i get the glance, from my love. 

the one that says, with a twinkle in his eye, "did you hear what romes just said?"

the one that says, with so much love bursting forth, "that's our little boy" :)

i haven't been able to write down my thoughts for the past couple weeks, because it's all just swarming around me so fast.

first there were all of his little single words he threw out here and there.

but now? there are phrases.

little buds of dialogue, bursting forth from his mouth, begging to take part in conversation.

it happened right before my eyes.

i didn't even blink, it just happened.

words became phrases, and tomorrow we'll be chatting away like the best of friends.

it seems as if i'll keep saying it, that each stage is better than the last, but all of the sudden the stages hit speeds that are going far to quick for my momma heart.  slow down.  oh, how i wish they would slow down.

i'd be fine with just hearing "read, read"  

and, while it's music to my ears to hear "momma read?  momma read peeeease?"

it's just going so fast.

it's a beautiful thing to get the glance from mr leif

it reassures me that it's all ok.

no matter what kind of tantrum he just threw,

or no matter how many vegetables he is now on strike from eating,

he just said "outside daddy peeease"

and his tender little voice, it's like a balm to our weariness.

a summer's day.

i love him.

i guess i just didn't know my heart could keep expanding like this.

sometimes when i stop and think about how much i love him? 

i could just bawl my eyes out.

thank you LORD for the gift of children.

their soft skin, their tender voices.  their innocence, their eagerness.

their joy, their giggles, their mind that is constantly soaking up new things.

though raising a child can stretch you so thin, you might think you'll break?

it's true, the good always blows the hard stuff outta the water.

children are an indescribable gift.

thank you dear roman, for loving me even when i have no idea how to parent you.

thank you dear roman, for adoring me even after i have an ugly moment. {or 13 of them}

and thank you dear roman for being the tool that my heavenly Father is using, to refine me, so I might shine for his glory.