sitting here in my...

...bra and undies.

because i just came in from soakin up the sun on my deck.
because i needed to study and finally had a somewhat clear mind to do so.
(unfortunately its the day before the test)
(unfortunately this is the first time i've had a clear mind in 2 weeks)
(so, subsequently, the first time i've 'really' studied)

oh the bra and undies?

well, to put a positive twist on things..........

it's GREAT that it would cost $4000 to do a proper tree trimming

in our backyard. so we are keepin the trees bushy. realllll bushy!

it's GREAT that i can lay out on my deck. in bra and undies.
.........because i dont feel like pouring myself into a swim suit
(no, no, no, i dont have a maternity one yet. ugh)

the view from my deck. like 4 seconds ago.

so.
while i was out on my deck. bra n' undies style, studyin.
i thought.
hmmmmm
how will i explain our dr. appointment today.

mr leif and i had a quick lunch together after it to which i asked him that same question.
"how should i tell people, this is really confusing, even to us?"
"how will i even explain it?"

so we talked about it a bit.

and here is my best shot and putting confused thoughts into words
(something that normally is quite easy for me, and now...isn't)

today eased our minds.
the perinatologists was quite blunt
and he called our baby 'the kid'
but other then that, we left feeling better instead of worse

through this pregnancy, we have definitely found out quickly that in the medical field, there are many, many times when they just can't give you a guarantee.
but rather
it's a waiting game. it's a statistic.
you know......there is always that "1 in ____ chance."

so with our little babe.
there is infact, a 1 in something chance that there will be some
abnormalities.
(i hate that word by the way)

but we aren't even going to discuss nor dwell on the the chance. the statistic.

because life isn't about statistics.
its about WHO has it all planned out, already.

there really are no chances, cuz He knows, and thank goodness.

i've come to the conclusion, already, that mr leif and i
would be perfect parents to a baby with downs.
with his compassion, selflessness, and ability to care for others
and my passion, energy, and eagerness to learn
we would make the perfect team.

if that is what God has in store for us?
then we will work to glorifiy him through that journey.
if not?
we will rejoice in the fact that we didn't spend the rest of our pregnancy worrying.
but, that we were ready to embrace what God had planned.

and, so many MANY people notice things on their scans, and so many, MANY times it turns up to be nothin! so we aren't too worried :)

i feel quite free right now. not to say that won't change or i won't get a bit whimpy.
but for now. i'm good.
we're good.

and besides........ i think we are "in for it", regardless.
because the doc said over and OVER again how the baby is
"so quick! and so agile!"
(and thats exactly what the lady said 2 weeks ago.)
so
i better get me some new tennies......looks like this one is comin out runnin!!!

can't wait to meet my quick, little yoga baby!!

and ps.
the perfect song came on the radio after our appointent.....
the lyrics were:
"every knee will bow, every tongue confess........."

mr leif and i got all giddy just thinkin about that day.
how mini mr leif will be bowin too, right there next to us
and so will our other 5 kids.
(mr leif wants 6)
(i haven't quite decided if im jumpin on that band waggon.......)