Monday, February 28, 2011

the ole' switcheroo. (a part of my postpartum series)

mini sidenote. i've been super sick this weekend and won't be working today......just in bed
trying to recover, pausing to care for romes :) i didn't feel like writing anything, so i dug this out of my 'posts that never got published' pile....

did i ever tell you that i switched doctors mid-preggo?
i can't remember, but, regardless, i did.
i switched, at 28 weeks.
here i am at 26 weeks, just two weeks before i switched.
so clearly you can see i was well into being preg.

don't stare at my butt. it's still deflating, btw.

why is this part of my little postpartum series?
well, it's a warning. and a little piece of advice.

and i should probably let you know, i'm in a bit of a sarcastic/rowdy/goofy/silly/crazy mood. SO.....this post might sound a bit attitude-ish. but know, it's out of love. from me, to you. SMOOCH!
oh yeah, and it's also based on my experience. my one experience. others may have different ones, but this was mine.
SMOOCH, again!

let's dig in, shall we?

when you first find out you are pregnant, you have this crazy/excited/i wanna shout it from the rooftops feeling................. but you can't, because it's too early to 'share' with others. for multiple reasons.
so, your first real 'attention' in pregnancy is the first doctor visit.
the one where you do a blood test, and pee test, and well, i can't remember what else.
but it's the one that confirms your pregnancy and gives you your DUE date, you know, the date that is now stamped into the backside of your eyelids. you can see it and think of it every time you blink. literally.
you march right into the doctor's office, (thinking that you already might be showing, because you are THAT excited about being pregnant) and it happens.
what happens?
you wait forever in the waiting room, then you do all sorts of routine tests, and you find out you're preggs, and you look radiantly happy, and you expect everyone you pass by in the clinic to notice you and congratulate you and tell you your baby is going to be adorable, and you are going to be the most bestest momma. and the nurses? they will be so excited for you that they almost pee their pants.
but nope.
it doesn't happen.
i mean, you get a few congrats, some smiles, your doc might even hug you, but you are definitely not the 'talk of the town'.
and, that makes sense. because they DO see like 2,000 preggo girls a day, so you ARE just another one of them.
but, for a first time mom, you are a bit let down.
you thought the doc office staff would all do cartwheels and jazz hands as you exited the office to send you on your way out into the world as a declared new momma.
but they don't.

so, you go back to your next appointment A WHOLE MONTH LATER.
yeah, seriously.
you wonder if everything is ok with the baby for that WHOLE month.
with every symptom you have, or lack of symptom you thought you'd have, you wonder.
is the baby ok?
is it growing?
is the heart beating?
am i squishing it?
am i doing everything right?
etc. etc. etc.
and your hormones are raging, so that just makes everything even more peachy.

then FINALLY your next appointment comes,
and you go, you wait in the waiting room for an hour, you enter the patient room, you sit and wait for the doc another 20 minutes, then she comes, you pee in a cup, you chat a bit about your questions, and the doc says "alright, anything else?" and you can't really think about anything else at the moment, and then BAM! your appointment is over. and you realize it took about 5 minutes.
so, WHAT???? you wait a WHOLE month for a tiny, itty, bitty 5 minutes with your doc?
and then it's off to waiting again. for another. whole. month.

well, sometime, somewhere your appointments should.............(and here's what DIDN'T HAPPEN TO ME)
  • last longer than 5 minutes. mine never did.
  • and when you tummy begins to bulge out and you are showing, you get measured to see if you are growing appropriately. at 28 weeks, and VERY much showing, i still wasn't measured, (although this one might not be a biggie to others, it was to me)
  • you may discuss your weight gain, but if you've gained 15 pounds in the first 3 months, you really shouldn't be warned about future weight gain. i was already having body image issues. this was hard to hear!
  • you shouldn't be told by your tiny, cute, little doc that she jogged up until 32 weeks, when your boobs are way to big to even think about anything close to a brisk walk. again, cue major self consciousness here.
  • if you puke your guts out for more than 24 hours and can't even drink a sip of water.........than your call to the on call doc that evening should be met with understanding, compassion, and tips on what to do next. my phone convo (while i was in NE visiting fam) was rude and all they said was, "well, you might need to go to the ER if you are still puking tomorrow." and that's all. nothing else, just a blunt statement. then a goodbye.
  • if you have a high fever, accompanying the puke flu, and your body is aching so bad, you really think you might die, and this was all made note of in your file..........then at your next appointment, your doc shouldn't say, "and you are still feeling fine? no morning sickness or other issues? nothing else we need to talk about?" clearly, my doc wasn't reviewing my file. and clearly she didn't know that i was drinking carbonated water by the hour to calm my tummy, and that the isles of the grocery store felt like a haunted house i was SO SO SO nauseous.
  • and when you tell your doc that NO you aren't feeling fine! she should ask if you want any meds for nausea. not just ignore your cry for help.
  • and when you have an irregular scan, and your baby has multiple soft indicators for downs, and you are a scared new should receive a kind, thorough review of the high level scan you were asked to have done. when i went in for my appointment after that scan, she skimmed the perinatologist's report of my scan and didn't really answer questions we had.
(ok. remember i am in a sarcasting mood and i'm not usually so negative sounding, k? k. k!)

so, i shared all of this to my sweet book club. and an OUTPOURING of help was received. "switch! it's not to late! you need to switch!" so i did.

i wanted a doc that would listen to me.
i wanted a doc that would chat during our appointments.
i wanted a doc that would make me feel special because i am PREGNANT!
i wanted a doc who would not talk so fast and use such big words that made me feel so so small and dumb.
i wanted a friend.

so i switched. docs. and clinics. and the whole shabang. i even needed to fill out all new hospital paperwork and tour a different hospital because my new doc would deliver me at a whole new place.........

and guess (oh the power of prayer, oh how my GOD works wonders) who called me on that next SUNDAY night from HOME to chat about my file that was placed on her desk earlier that week!?!??! yep. you guessed it. my new doctor. she called me from HOME! we chatted about her recent beach vaca she just got home from. we chatted about my bad experience thus far. she validated my feelings. she reassured me things would be different.
and they were.

it was love at first visit. my new doc. my new clinic. the rest of my pregnancy.

moral of the story my preggo and future preggo friends?
love your doctor.
feel validated.
feel special.
feel listened to.
feel understood.

and if you don't? then switch. it's never too late. and it's worth it.

and, ps.
did you know during my week of pukecrazyness, that i was in NE and mom had to pull the car over and i puked on some random person's yard in lincoln? and it was total daylight, like 2pm. and my sissy rushed out to hold my hair. and it was like a college party gone bad. but not. because i was preggo. and people were driving by. and i made my mark in someone's front yard.


  1. Hi - Thanks so much for posting this. I am 6 weeks pregnant with my first. My husband and I have been married for 8 years. I go to my first doctors appointment this Thursday. I am excited, yet also so scared thinking "can I really do this"? Knowing full well there is no turning back now... :-) Anyway, I have been following you for over a year now, found you from Band of Brothers. I appreciate this post as I will take it all into consideration as I meet my doc on Thursday. Thanks again!! - Kim

  2. Thanks again for thise delicious morsels of information goodness. Something to keep tucked away for when it's our turn to journey down this road. I like my current GYN but am not really a fan of her partners (they've treated me like I was crazy and I wasn't even preg). The more I think about it, I may just have to suck it up and go somewhere out of network and pay the extra cost out of pocket. It'll be worth it I think.