Saturday, August 25, 2012

baby#two

{9/40 weeks}

yikes. when i post it like that, it seems like this pregnancy will take forever.
30 more weeks? cray.
but obvi, as i had to already go to my calendar to even check what week i am, it will fly by for sure.
especially with the cute little distraction
it's definitely different being pregnant, when your already a momma :)
different.  not horrible.  but not the easiest either.
some days he provides the perfect distraction to not feeling well or being exhausted,
and then some days he almost adds just the amount of "toddlerness", causing me to think irrational thoughts, like "i can't do this"
but i can.
and it's gonna be rock n roll awesome.

...

roman loves momma's doctor's office.
there's some massive construction goin on down below, and he can't get enough.

i think i could actually leave him in the waiting room at the window, while i go back.
i mean, i won't. duh.
but i could. 
although, he's still attached to me almost awkwardly much, so he'd notice i was gone after 3 seconds.


...
 it seems i'm figuring out how to beat this nausea.  most days i have relapses.  but there's a light :)
mr leif, is totally winning my heart over and over again by stepping up in the food department {again}
this week i got 3 breakfasts in bed.  a muffin.  pancakes.  and a donut.  
he's a sweet one.  but the poor guy probably thinks i'm falling apart after the sob story i gave him about how hard it was to be in charge of roman from 6:30 am to 6 pm..... and that i just couldn't do it.
HA.  pregnancy makes you go a little nutz.
but really.  for a while, i didn't know how i would make it through some of those days.
now?  i'm on the up. 
i've got lots of remedies, like those little apple candies below, ginger ale, ginger chews, green apples, nausea meds, 
and, unfortunately for my butt, but fortunately for my tummy.....lots of fast food places nearby.
{why is it a burger king chicken sandwhich actually sounds good when the thought of cooking chicken for dinner makes me wanna hurl? a mystery folks}
 but really, it seems like i have this thing figured out a bit better :)
i can't allow myself to go too long without eating.
plain water is gross, i need carbonation.
i like sour stuff.
and as much as i adore pizza.
it just never sets well.

...

i'm slowly coming out of my dark cave.  out of hiding.  
because, well, it turns out if i actually get out and do something, i feel a lot better than sitting on the couch wondering how i'll make it through the day. HA.  

but really, we are SOOOOOO excited for another child :)  
this momma thing just keeps getting better and better.  
even though my pregnancy hormones cause me to have mini anxiety attacks about having 2 small children in a very small house, it's not hard to calm myself down and find gratitude.
and that's the place i find myself at right now, at 4am, because i can't sleep,
just grateful.
for my husband. for my child and another on the way. for my home.
but mostly? for jesus.  because even during the long days, the ones i am not sure i will get through?  
it's my savior that gives me this calm wave as i begin to panic.

sometimes i think we view weakness as a bad thing.  especially as mothers.
we can't be weak, our children need us. right?
i'm learning weak is ok.
2 corinthians 12.9 is telling me so :)
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

He's powerful, when I'm weak?  sounds like a pretty awesome relationship to me.

3 comments:

  1. Oh I shudder at how I will handle a second one, but you're right, God will provide.

    Are you taking zofran by chance? I was losing weight and not keeping anything down and it REALLY helped me. I've now finally gained 2 pounds at 20 weeks.

    What is it about fast food? I scarfed a ton of mcd fries those first few weeks.

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  2. i'm so sad that you're sick. nothing worse in the world.
    you have the BEST attitude about it.
    i really don't know how you do. ;) you crazy.
    that feeling to me is the worst in the world.
    BLECH.
    but, thank goodness for mr leif bringing you yummies in bed!
    happy, happy day for the baby on the waaaaaaaaay!
    there's my poem of the day.
    welcome ;)

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  3. amen. being weak is just somewhere God needs us to be.

    and i had major chicken aversion when i was preggo. like cooking chicken.

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