Wednesday, November 10, 2010

4 weeks ago, to the minute...

...i had my first "real" contraction.

at that moment, couldn't have imagined that in 4 weeks,
i would be playing dress up with this handsome stud.......
on this chair...........
the same chair we took photos on earlier this summer
seriously, becoming a momma has been the best thing ever.
look at him, i mean, come on............who wouldn't be in love with snuggling up on this little hunk all day. every day.

these last 4 weeks have been such a rollercoaster of emotions...........defeat, confidence, confusion, frustration, loneliness, scared, helpless, in love, overwhelmed, consumed, needed, passionate, tired, happy, complete........need i go on?!

i feel like we are on the right track though. finally.

everyday, i put myself through this battle in my mind. i've wanted to blog and blog and blog.......but i've been so stuck. all throughout the day, i search for things to strike up attention in my mind.......things that i can ponder upon and then release with my fingers at the keyboard later.....but nothin. no such luck. i'm in a fog of baby. a fog of new momma. and it's captured my abilities to think about things, to contemplate.

i just survive. i live and breathe on 3 hour shifts. eat, change, play, sleep.........quick! do a load of laundry and shower! then its eat, change, play, sleep...........quick! eat some lunch! switch the laundry, sweep the floor! then its eat, change, play, sleep........quick! try to take a nap, but whoops - you forgot to make a phone call, or send an email, or oh! you have a houseguest!.........

so this fog of babygoodness has me trapped. i've been unintentionally absent from my blog and i don't like it. i miss it. but my mind is consumed. and for now, that is ok. for now - it is where God has me - He is training me to be a momma. He has me focused on the task at hand, raising my son for his glory. and..........soon, very soon, i think i'll be back to the regular blogging again........i can feel it. the fog is clearing. life seems a bit more normal. things are making sense again.

so thank you for stickin around.

i know i've got TONS to write about. and once the fog clears, my fingers be rollin' YO.


  1. Lindsey - Little Roman is so cute! It will be fun to use that yellow chair to see how much he grows over the years. :) Let's get together soon! xoxo

  2. you rock!!! keep it up girl! so excite for you :)

  3. i would just take a little break from blogging and do it when it seems fun again. too much going on right now for you and you don't want to miss it, all hunched over a keyboard and computer. enjoy the tininess of Roman. We will all be here when you return. But his teensiness will be gone. Cherish it.

  4. look at him in that chair!!!! you'll hafta put him in it & take a pic every month or so :) i love his dark hair. he's gorgeous, linds. the fog will clear soon, i promise. until then, soak it all in & don't worry about lil' ol' us..err, me. :) i miss you though!!! wah.