these last 4 weeks have been such a rollercoaster of emotions...........defeat, confidence, confusion, frustration, loneliness, scared, helpless, in love, overwhelmed, consumed, needed, passionate, tired, happy, complete........need i go on?!
i feel like we are on the right track though. finally.
everyday, i put myself through this battle in my mind. i've wanted to blog and blog and blog.......but i've been so stuck. all throughout the day, i search for things to strike up attention in my mind.......things that i can ponder upon and then release with my fingers at the keyboard later.....but nothin. no such luck. i'm in a fog of baby. a fog of new momma. and it's captured my abilities to think about things, to contemplate.
i just survive. i live and breathe on 3 hour shifts. eat, change, play, sleep.........quick! do a load of laundry and shower! then its eat, change, play, sleep...........quick! eat some lunch! switch the laundry, sweep the floor! then its eat, change, play, sleep........quick! try to take a nap, but whoops - you forgot to make a phone call, or send an email, or oh! you have a houseguest!.........
so this fog of babygoodness has me trapped. i've been unintentionally absent from my blog and i don't like it. i miss it. but my mind is consumed. and for now, that is ok. for now - it is where God has me - He is training me to be a momma. He has me focused on the task at hand, raising my son for his glory. and..........soon, very soon, i think i'll be back to the regular blogging again........i can feel it. the fog is clearing. life seems a bit more normal. things are making sense again.
so thank you for stickin around.
i know i've got TONS to write about. and once the fog clears, my fingers be rollin' YO.