Wednesday, November 10, 2010

4 weeks ago, to the minute...

...i had my first "real" contraction.

at that moment, couldn't have imagined that in 4 weeks,
i would be playing dress up with this handsome stud.......
on this chair...........
the same chair we took photos on earlier this summer
:)
seriously, becoming a momma has been the best thing ever.
look at him, i mean, come on............who wouldn't be in love with snuggling up on this little hunk all day. every day.

these last 4 weeks have been such a rollercoaster of emotions...........defeat, confidence, confusion, frustration, loneliness, scared, helpless, in love, overwhelmed, consumed, needed, passionate, tired, happy, complete........need i go on?!

i feel like we are on the right track though. finally.

everyday, i put myself through this battle in my mind. i've wanted to blog and blog and blog.......but i've been so stuck. all throughout the day, i search for things to strike up attention in my mind.......things that i can ponder upon and then release with my fingers at the keyboard later.....but nothin. no such luck. i'm in a fog of baby. a fog of new momma. and it's captured my abilities to think about things, to contemplate.

i just survive. i live and breathe on 3 hour shifts. eat, change, play, sleep.........quick! do a load of laundry and shower! then its eat, change, play, sleep...........quick! eat some lunch! switch the laundry, sweep the floor! then its eat, change, play, sleep........quick! try to take a nap, but whoops - you forgot to make a phone call, or send an email, or oh! you have a houseguest!.........

so this fog of babygoodness has me trapped. i've been unintentionally absent from my blog and i don't like it. i miss it. but my mind is consumed. and for now, that is ok. for now - it is where God has me - He is training me to be a momma. He has me focused on the task at hand, raising my son for his glory. and..........soon, very soon, i think i'll be back to the regular blogging again........i can feel it. the fog is clearing. life seems a bit more normal. things are making sense again.

so thank you for stickin around.

i know i've got TONS to write about. and once the fog clears, my fingers be rollin' YO.

4 comments:

  1. Lindsey - Little Roman is so cute! It will be fun to use that yellow chair to see how much he grows over the years. :) Let's get together soon! xoxo

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  2. you rock!!! keep it up girl! so excite for you :)

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  3. i would just take a little break from blogging and do it when it seems fun again. too much going on right now for you and you don't want to miss it, all hunched over a keyboard and computer. enjoy the tininess of Roman. We will all be here when you return. But his teensiness will be gone. Cherish it.

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  4. look at him in that chair!!!! you'll hafta put him in it & take a pic every month or so :) i love his dark hair. he's gorgeous, linds. the fog will clear soon, i promise. until then, soak it all in & don't worry about lil' ol' us..err, me. :) i miss you though!!! wah.

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