when you pray the wrong prayer...

...nothing happens.

well actually, we aren't in charge of what happens anyways.
but, still, when you don't pray for the right thing, it doesn't happen.
does that even make sense?
oh, heck, it doesn't really even make sense to me.
so, i should probably just move on with this post...

lately, been praying for the wrong thing,
asking God to please make me a stay-at-home-mom, and ASAP.
although there have been a few options come across our minds...in all reality, i must finish the school year. i must return to school and complete the year. i enroll in my last semester of grad school, and complete my ineternship, so i can graduate in may. i must finish what i started. a sense of completion.
all the while, feeling as if i'm choosing the 450 students over my baby......
all the while, scheeming that i never want to go back to work again anways, so why finish my degree.....
all the while, wondering why i'll be paying someone else to smooch on my baby for 9 hours, 4 days a week, when that's my job.....
but?
like i said, i've been praying the wrong prayer.

clearly, God has me in this place to finish the year. to finish my degree. to entrust my baby to two friends from church.
why am i praying for something else, when all i need to do is pray for the GRACE to enure the semester. and the clear eyes to see His plan for our family in the next year.

big things are brewing for us leif's :)
we are considering lots of different options in order that i can stay home with rome. (that rhymed. totally nice) as well as the other 3-4 kids we want to have. yep, it's gonna be a full house here folks. or maybe a full townhouse, or heck even an appartment for a while....we'll see what GOD has in store.
and,
for now?
i'll just pray for the grace to get through the semester.
it's where HE has me.
it's in HIS plan. (not mine, but his.........just gotta remember that.)

anyways, did you know you could stare at a baby for hours upon hours?
yep.
you can.
i do it daily.

well, cheers to getting neck-deep in prayer.
i'm gonna need it.
grace to get through the next 5 months.
grace to get through the first week back.
grace to be able to drop my baby off and go to work the first day.
grace for one day at a time.
if only grace was on sale at costco, i'd buy me a bulk pack for sure.

isn't he cute?
i know, every mother is biased of their own offspring.
but, no one said you can't publicly proclaim your addoration of them.

and because i'm still obsessed with the first song on my music player:

some of my favorite lyrics....

"though hast not left me, though i oft left thee..."
"i need thy presence, every passing hour..."
"what but thy grace, can foil the tempter's power..."
"through cloud and sunshine, abide with me..."
"shine through the gloom, point me to the skies..."

abide with me.