19 months old [he's closer to 2 than 1; hold me]

lately, my eyes are so hungry for the sight of my little boy.

it's like bottomless mac and cheese.  i can't get enough.

literally, i could stare at him all day.  

i watch him, his movements, his hands, the way he plays, how he walks, runs and hops

 i listen to his noises, his fascination in mimicking everything he hears in the great outdoors.

 i giggle at his words. so precious, so ripe.  he will try to say anything i ask him to, and he does it with confidence.

 i'm in awe at his abilities.  the natural way his little body grows, stretches, bends, and moves.  

he constantly reminds me of the wonder of our Creator, the Lord created this!  my child! and look, isn't he adorable?  the way his fingers curl up into fists, and his little feet that point inward!  the way his eyes light up at the sight of any truck, and his mouth says "oh!" when he hears an airplane.  the way he scrunches his face when he smiles, and how he laughs when he toots. 

 it's all so good. so very very good.

thank you Jesus, for giving us the gift of children.  they're a wonderment to my imagination.  

  oh romes, you've become my little best friend.  we spend every waking moment together, i know your every move.
the signs that tell me you're sleepy, and when you need a snack.  

or how your cheeks get rosy when you're hot. 

 i know every momma says it, and i'll say it too.

i wish i could freeze time.

right here.

little boys have this zest for life

no wonder Jesus said, let the little children come to ME.....
He too could see their excitement, their energy, their eagerness.

 i study you up and down, i know how you intensely search for your owies on your knee,
just so you can point and say "owie, owie".  

and your obsession with dumptrucks "dumper".... cement trucks "men mut"..... and back hoes "bab bee"

 your infatuation with trains "choo choo"...... and sticks "thick" ......and shoes "sooooz"

the way you examine my face, saying eyes, and nose, and mouth "mous"

 these days are so good. they are a blessing over and over again.

 oh my child, sometimes i don't think being your mother could get any better, and then, tomorrow comes, and it does.

...

O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

i praise YOU because i am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
i know them full well!

good stuff.

sometimes there's those moments, those hours, and sometimes even whole days, where everything goes quite smooth.
when that happens.  it's a bit blissful.

saturday morning, bright and early, we were off on a little walk.

daddy said, "donuts", so romes and i sprinted out of the house like the jamaican rockstar, bolt.

we never pass on opportunities for a donut breakfast.  even if it's only 7am.

...

a quick change of clothes, and it was go time.

the little guy thinks he needs to work on the fire pit every. single. day.

obvi he knows his dad is quite the stud, and wants to be just like him.  i'll encourage it.

so, each morning when he bangs on the door saying "utttside uttttside"

i open up the patio door, and little bolt heads out do to work.

he gets his shovel and starts scooping up little bits of dirt, sand, and rocks.

and then, for some reason, he carries them over to us, and dumps them on our feet.

and laughs.

he's pretty awesome like that.

...

the pit needed some seating and i like colorful things, so we found some bright blue chairs.

perfect for lounging, or a perfect place for roman to dump his dirt piles.  it's a win/win.

and you wouldn't believe it, as we were in the check out line, the little master mind himself pulled a fast one on us.

i happened to glance over at the candy shelves {who doesn't?} and noticed a pacifier sitting in the m&m slot.  so naturally, i walked over, and investigated.  sure enough, it belonged to romy.

i turned around to see roman up with dad at the counter, trying to open a bag of m&m's.

the kid's a genius.  it was a logical trade for him: i give you my paci, i get the chocolate.

...

if i was given thirty six thousand cans of spray paint, i still wouldn't run out of things to paint.

spraypainting stuff, for me, is as good as a whole tub of dolce de leche haagen dazs.

not sure how long these flowers will hold up without any holes in the bottom of the jars.

but i'm givin' it a whirl.

for now, they're stayin strong, and lookin gooooooooood.

...

 and mr leif?  he's got a soft spot for spray paint too.

we were sprayin things left and right on saturday morning.

old nasty plastic flower pot, bam!

grungy rusty plant stand, wam!

ugly beige outdoor table, zam!

complete bliss......... complete donut/colorfulchair/flowery/spraypaintin bliss.

the romes does bass pro.

i don't really know anyone who would enjoy being strapped into a seat for four three hours.

i mean, i guess if that's your thing, than awesome.

but it's not for romes.

not at all.

last week, while we were on tour de nebraska.

we NEEDED to stop and stretch our legs run around like a crazy kid.

and, like a modern day miracle, bass pro shop just happened to appear right in front of us.

 so we went on in, with our sword from the target dollar isle.

and we snagged a hat off of the first rack we saw,

because every little boy needs to romp around in a fishing hat while browsing bass pro.

duh.

 why the sword?

well, why not? there's bears up in here. we gotta attack!  wack! wam!

but really, my child totes had a mini sword fight with a stuffed bear.

he's awesome like that.

 and then we sent daddy about 43 picture texts.

asking telling him we needed a new boat.

a yellow one!

 no actually this one! its a pontoon.  come on dad.  puhhhhhlease?

i'm on a boat!

and then, the highlight of our shopping spree, was the children's tshirt section.

romes would pull a shirt off the rack, set it down on the ground, and then kneel over to examine what was on each shirt.

after going through about four shirts, he finally settled on this cute number above.

don't let the blue color fool you......for on it reads, and i quote,

 "some girls play with dolls, real girls hunt.

[proud moment?]

oh romes.  oh romes. oh romes.

{and i so let him carry it around the store for the duration of our time}

...

thegoodlife.

nebraska is nicknamed "the good life"

and for me, because it's where our family lives, i nickname it "the extra good life"

trips home mean that uncle colton takes us to the farm

it means he takes romes up in the big machines.  backhoes? those are romy's dream. 

 it means petting the cows with grammy. or, ehhh. ahem.... the BULL.  {with a nose ring} so stylish.

 it means being carried across all the cow patties. nice.

and it means trips to town in the morning, dropping uncle cam off at school!

...

it means we get to visit momma's cousin kate :)  and romy gets to play in hudsons backyard.

{while mommy and katie sunbathe, and eat 5 rice crispy bars. each.}

 and, it means mommy gets to love up on wittle baby pieper :)

...

it means, exciting trips over to our other grammys! {just about 15 minutes away!}

(although, back in our dating days, i could make it over to mr leif's house in 10, totes)

and it means eating a schmorgesborg of nummy foods at grammys.

and putting our lions down for a nap on our plates.

it means i get to take roman out exploring.

{i grew up in a huge quaint village of 38 people}
...

ahhhh, yes.

and it means daytime dates for us two love birds.

when romes is with the grammys? mom and dad get to stuff their face with mexican food.

...

and of course, it means roman doesn't always sleep the best {hoppin from place to place}
so often times he "gets" to sleep with momma.

but, hmmmmph, that only goes well for one of us.

{and it's not me}
...

and then, yes, it means we come back home.
and unload everything.
and instantly our house becomes a disaster.
which instantly puts me in a really good mood.
obvi.

wink.

we.are.family.

last week, our family experienced heart throbbing devastation.

[part of our big gang]  {taken last week....exhausted, yet trying to help celebrate our grandma leona's birthday}

...

in our giant family,

there's more than just the beautiful relationships, the trust, the love, the support.

there's more than the memories of playing school in grandma's basement and spending every sunday at her house...all of us..... {that's a lot of roast dinners and mac and cheese suppers}

there's more than just our christmas sleepovers, and random weekend gatherings.

there's more than riding down steps on mattresses, playing with each other's pets and nintendos.
{my cousins kate, megan, and vanessa totally had a horse named spanky. HA!}

{i got to spend THREE days with charlotte. my favoritest niece ever ;)}

...

there's what happens when tragedy strikes.

there's the beautiful way we all pull together, driving in, flying in, whatever it took.

we gathered together.

and though it was long, difficult, emotional, and grieving....it was good.

[a few of the little 2nd cousins.  romy's in the middle! charlotte on the left, hudson on the right!]

{entertainment during a late night hotel stay, the night before the funeral}

...

together, we got to process the amazing journey jamie was on,

and how her smile, as beautiful as ever, was even MORE beautiful in heaven,

and how her love for music, would be blown out of the water, with the music she hears in heaven,

and her dancing? that too would be maximized to the millionth in heaven.

we helped each other find comfort in the idea that she, dear 23 year old jamie, would die and now live, 

forever young.

[we did lots and lots of driving]

...

and we celebrated that she knew Jesus as her savior, finding comfort in psalm 139, knowing the lord knows our heart, our anxious thoughts, and that HE will lead us in the right direction.

{and baby pieper snuggles}

...

and though it all went so fast, and we were off on our own ways once again,

our hearts are still aching.  and yet they are rejoicing.

our ways are not the Lord's ways.  and while we want to be angry,

we stop, take a deep breath, and remember, Jamie is with Jesus.

and then we pray.

we pray everytime we think of her dear sweet husband.

we pray everytime we think of her momma. of her 3 sisters. her 2 nephews.

we pray for them.  their hearts. that they might find comfort. that they might find the strength to put one foot in front of the other, moving forward, without their dear jamie.  

we pray, oh Lord, thy will be done.

[romy was DONE being in the car.]  {just as we pulled in to KC late tuesday, he took to gnawing on his own toes.}


yes, always praying Lord, Thy will be done.


the song, Wildflowers, by tom petty, was played at jamie's funeral....it was one of her favorites.
i love that song.

fire in the pit.

we're ALMOST finished with our backyard "project"

i like to think up projects, i've mentioned this before.

this has seriously taken some teamwork.

from day one.

teamwork:

while the two of them say, "it's go time"?

one momma says, "start diggin boys!"

teamwork:

one works, one looks on with approval

teamwork:
while one sleeps?

two enjoy the fire :)

teamwork:

while one momma sunbathes?

one little boy stops to check progress.

teamwork:
while one little boy eats sand?

one momma takes photos of him.

teamwork:
while one little boy digs just like "dada"?

one momma sunbathes, again.

and, more teamwork:

while one little boy jumps from rock to rock?

one momma winces with each hop, thinking he'll surely get hurt.

{nope, he's a tough dude}

well, there you have it.

progress is happenin so fast it's like roastin a marshmellow.

one moment your sittin there all nice a cozy roasting your mellow,

and the next moment its on flames, done. done. done.

yep. by tomorrow {mr leif says} this bad boy will be complete.

and tomorrow, i'll post a FINISHED photo :)
i might even have mr leif pose with a shovel.
because that's probs the cool thing to do.
and, well, we're cool.

he says he's gonna put an add on craigslist "you can have this done to your backyard for $4,000"
any takers?  come on!  help support our travel to europe fund!
or is it our buy a new truck for mr leif fund?!
or maybe it's just our let's just meet our needs fund.
yep, i think it's the last one.
#contentmentisabeautifulthing.
{but we can dream, right?}

...

UPDATE!

and, i just fell in love with mr leif all over again :)