the little things.

things are heating back up in the midwest again :)

but i can't complain. 

for some reason.... i'm like a moth to the streetlight when it comes to being in the sun.

my mom is in town this week :)

isn't it awesome how the Lord totally knows what you need, when you need it?

she is a blessing tenfold when she comes to visit.

let me explain,

this morning i was out the door by 8:50, WITHOUT MY CHILD.....

i spent the first 13 blocks of the drive listening to zacchaeus was a wee little man,

but by block 14?  i was jamming out to jj heller.  WITH a smile on my face.

the times that i get to attend bible study, meetings, etc...without romes in tow or going through the {strangely annoying process} of finding a babysitter.....are close to nonexistent.

but today?  

when i backed out of the driveway, realizing i didn't have to leave 38 posty notes with instructions on how to keep my child alive, because my mom just knows what to do with him and when?

it was glorious.

so i was off,

me and my rickety old toms.

"it's the little things" 

it's just so true.

it's the little glimpses of grace that get us through our day.

we simply can not get enough of "utssssside"

romy begs for it 48 times a day, and i typically oblige.

i mean why not? mr leif trapped both exits of the deck, so roman can't escape.

this way, i can actually wash a dish or too with him busy and not playing koala bear on my leg.

so as any other afternoon would have it,

we spent it outside, with grammy :)

and, i'm a bit of a happy girl.

because tonight my love and i slipped away {for like 20 minutes} on a date.

i mean it was quite romantic.

we stopped by three rock/stone places.

we're totes gonna bust out a sweet backyard.

we'll be roastin mellows in no time.

oh it's the little things, like dates to rock stores, that keep your marriage hoppin.

i have dirty floors. and it's OK.

so, we're in full swing of project: budget in the leif house, as a result of me quitting my job, to stay home with our little guy.

i've never scrimped so much.

i've never spent so little.

it's refreshing.

it's challenging.

but?

it's hard.

we knew it would be.

however, something is happening through the hardships.

i'm being transformed. i'm being refined.

something beautiful is happening in my heart, and i can feel it.

recently, there have been a few things "breaking down" in our house, temptations for me to pout, to have a pitty party, to be mad at this dumb budget thing, but i'm not doing it.

i feel contentment. i feel at peace.

i never would have guessed contentment would come after cutting our income in half.

but it has.

verses keep playing in my mind throughout my day to day.

.....do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself

.....keep your lives free from the love of money

.....set your mind on things above

they keep me going. they keep me focused.

especially when.......

.........i wash dishes over the sink, 3+ times a day, and instead of complaining that our dishwasher has been broken for over two months, i realize this is it. this is what i'm sacrificing to be home with my baby. and it's OK. washing the dishes actually gives me time to think. it makes me be still, other than the washing motion, and ponder, and meditate. it allows me to rejuvenate for a moment.

.........AND when i go to the closet to get out our vacuum and remember it's broken? instead of complaining that it's broken, and searching target for the perfect one, i am patient. this is what i'm sacrificing to be home with my baby. and it's OK. the carpets can get a bit dirty until we find a place in our budget to pay for the vacuum. will i have to wait a couple weeks, maybe a month? probably. and it's OK. i can wait. the floors can wait.

........AND when i answer my phone, the one with a shattered screen, and think...hmmmmm.....sprint has just unleashed the new iphone. i should get it. i mean, i need it. i mean, my phone is barely hangin on by a thread here folks. instead of heading out the door to sprint, i wait, i continue to use this silly phone, and joke about how the shattered screen is a resemblance of life - and how chaotic it can be at times. this phone is what i'm sacrificing to be home with my baby, and it's OK. i can wait for a phone. in this season, i'd rather be able to use my messed up phone as a distractor while i change roman's diaper anyways. i mean, if i did have an iphone, i wouldn't allow him to go near it, and thus he would be doing barrel rolls across the living room floor while i battle him to change his diaper.

the old lindsey would have justified why we need each of those things, asap, to mr leif.

and the old lindsey would have talked him into it.

and the old lindsey would have been talking on her iphone, while vacuuming, as the dishes were being washing in the dishwasher all at the same time.

but, this new way of life has been refining for me.

i know the adrenaline will wear away.

i know difficult days lie ahead.

but there is no pressure on me to perform.

there is no pressure on me to get through this season perfectly.

there's grace.

and the Lords grace is sufficient for us, His power is made perfect in our weakness.

amen?

amen.

and look at this shadow.

this shadow is not of a baby.

it's of a little boy.

a little boy, named roman joe.

he's growin up.

and i get to be home. to help him.

thankful.

happy.

and content.

time well spent...

...with grammy abbi.

on saturday, we spent all day doing this:

(shopping, and browsing the mall, and googling over the boots at nordstroms)

oh, and romes loved grammy's scarf. LOVED it.

oh, and i fed romy in von maur and nordstroms, he's quite the highclass nurser these days.

and on sunday, we did this:

rest up.

we were wore out!

all in all, we had the best weekend ever.

thankyou grammy abbi.

come back as soon as you can.

my 6 grateful things. from yesterday and today:

1. a warm house

2. more peppermint stick icecream

3. that mr leif got to go hunting, he loves hunting

4. a really yummy cheeseburger from freddy's

5. roman is smiling. like, all the time

6. that little charlotte is doing better, she's really been through the ringer lately. (oh and for her mom too, shes the bestest)

still grateful...

wow, it's just 10 days into december.....and i'm still going strong.

although, really, the hard part isn't trying to come up with 3 things to be grateful for each day........the hard part is blogging each day.

you might be thinking, oh dear, how hard is it to take care of a baby, you surely find time to blog??

well, it IS in fact time consuming..........because, i just eat his little cheeks, all.day.long.

but my excuse for barely posting today's in the nick of time??
well, my MIL is here.

and we've been out and about all day!

we even went on a walk to get groceries.

don't worry. we bundled up romes.

and now.......on december 10, 2010, i'm grateful for:

1. my two friends from church who are splitting the daycare responsibilities of little romyroo. they are each doing two days a week, and i'll do the 5th day. but the coolest thing? i had them over for a little pre-semester breakfast meeting and we prayed together. we prayed for this next semester. we prayed for their time watching roman. and, as much as i want to get sick over leaving my baby in 3 weeks...........knowing that he will be with two ladies that pray for him, that pray for me.........is powerful and brings so much peace of mind. thank you LORD.

2. my pediatrician's office. when i called in this week, wondering if it's ok that roman doesn't want to eat as often.........along with 23 other random questions, they simply answered them. and then reassured me over and over again that i was doing the exact right thing for roman. man. hearing that you are doing the right thing, as a new mom, is powerful. makes you breathe easy.

3. and, of course, roman's second chin. it's most evident when he's concentrating on 'going to the bathroom'.............wanna see?

oh roman. i don't mean to poke fun. it's just that you are turning into SUCH the character. i can't wait to see your personality begin to bloom. you're gonna be CRAZY fun. i know. i already want to ruff you up and throw you into the air..........but then i remember your just itty bitty. and i still need to be gentle. oh squishies. i love you.

oh elf yourself......

and for this.......

i'm grateful for

1. my sissy's baby charlotte

2. my cousin's baby hudson

3. and my baby roman

you know when you have that person...

...that you could laugh for hours upon hours with?

or, perhaps, you'd rather talk about the depths of your heart?

or, maybe, its a few glasses of wine, and you can just let the conversation roll?

well, heidi is my person.

though we don't get to see each other nearly enough........when we do, our hearts connect in the most beautiful way. we can be real, honest, supportive, and silly. and we do it all with honesty and love..........

yep, she's my person. and when we get together, i realize it over and over again.

and now, when she looks at my baby, it melts my heart.........

heidi has the most zest for life imagineable.

this is her jj.
they met, on account of me........hello matchmaker, YES!!!

and it was love at first sight......even though JJ was up on a roof, and heidi was, well, not on the roof.

they were here this past weekend, celebrating their anniversary.

yep, two years ago, she was the most beautiful bride

i miss living with you heidi....... i miss lifeguarding together, having wine together, watching sex and the city together (i remember watching it for the first time with her, thinking it was such a naughty show!!!).......... i miss getting ready to "go out" together...... i miss laughing at jj's clever christmas gifts with you..........and dreaming about our futures, living across the street?!? raising our kids together?!?! maybe someday........ thank you for loving my baby.

i can't wait to love yours someday :)

and......today, december 8, 2010, i'm grateful for:

1. when mr leif comes home from work. he is such a great help. plus, roman smiles at him so much, and thats the bestest.

2. peppermint stick icecream. mr leif takes the babe, i take my bowl. yummmmmo.

3. heidi. she's the bestest ever. and we can laugh for hours togehter.

ok. i'm not jumping on the bandwagon...

...i mean seriously. facebook amazes me over and over again.

but, before i continue, a small disclosure: i do not intend to offend anyone with my following perspective of the rampant "if you believe this, post this...." schemes on facebook. i guess i'm just venting?

but, then again, if i'm that annoyed by them, then why don't i just not get on facebook?

but, then i wouldn't get my mini dose of keeping up with whos who doing whats what.

so, i'll just keep getting on facebook, and keep getting annoyed. smiley face.

ok, where was i?

oh yes...........so lately, everyone has hopped on the wagon with posting their favorite childhood cartoon character, to "fight child abuse". ok now, im an elementary school counselor - i couldn't be MORE opposed to such an ugly disastrous crime, however, let's be real people. how is putting a picture of your favorite childhood cartoon picture going to do anything to stop child abuse? i just don't see the connection. i know i know, i suppose you are just making a public stand against such an awful action, so i guess i understand that part.

but, should i feel guilty? like i'm supporting child abuse by not changing my profile pic?

maybe i could change my status to........"i'm posting a picture of my squishy ishy goodness, baby roman, to show i am fighting child abuse" ???

ok.

so, i'm sure i've offended a few of you, possibly all of you......again, not my intent.

i just wanted to throw out some itty bitty sarcastic-ness about all this facebook status statements :)

if you have the worlds greatest mom, say so! its brag up your mom day. change your status to this!

if you have the cutest kids in the world, proclaim it! change your status to this!

oh goodness. they are just the funniest statements ever.

i laugh.

i'd like to start a few of my own..........

"if you haven't decorated for christmas yet, join the club! and repost this as your status!"

"if you like eating 2 cinnamon rolls for breakfast, and are still hungry, repost this as your status!"

"if you can't seem to make it to kinkos to get those darn xmas cards printed YET, repost this as your status!"

and here's the motherload............

drumroll please?..........

"i like it on the couch"

or maybe, to get some minds rolling even more..........
"i like at the kitchen table"

oh get your minds out of the gutter.

i'm just talking about where i like to eat my peppermint stick ice cream.........

but seriously. is the point of those posts to try and tempt the opposite sex?? oh dear.........i better stop now :) because, although i'm rolling in laughter over her at the leif residence, i might be stepping on toes. your toes. and that is not what i desire to do.

alright, just for kicks.

"if your mom rarely let you watch tv as a child, but when she did you loved one particular show........post a pic of it, and now!"

don't worry. i AM still grateful :)

today, december 6, 2010, i'm grateful for:

1. leftover cinnamon rolls. for breakfast. and leftover chilli. for lunch.

2. an occasional saved by the bell re-run.

3. realizing the lights on my chistmas tree are just the beginning of the resemblence of the TRUE light of the world. our JESUS. who was born, so many years ago, to come and save us. and everytime we plug those strands of lights in, it reminds us of the star, that marked where the birth of our JESUS was, so many years ago. and now.......mr leif and i get to start such lovely christmas traditions with our new little family. so cheers to putting lights on the tree. and cheers to getting giddy to celebrate HIS birth. amen? amen!

i'm still grateful...

...even though yes, i skipped a day.

i'll write about our weekend later......maybe tomorrow, maybe tuesday........and just so you know, it was a fabulous and busy BUSY weekend, smiley face.

but for now,

today, december 5, 2010, i'm grateful for:

1. warm chili soup. and cinnamon rolls. on a cold sunday night.
2. finding one of roman's newborn diapers. man they were tiny. he's now in costco's size 1-2.....not much bigger, i know, but still......i'm glad i found that newborn one. i hugged it and ran out to mr leif immediately so we could ooooooh and aaaaaaaah over how tiny it is.......and miss how tiny roman was just weeks ago.
3. friends. friends who are new moms, just like me, who share in experiences. friends who are experienced moms, who can give me advice. and friends who are almost moms, who are glowing in their pregnancy, making me miss my belly :)

and.........here's three for missing yesterday,

1. my school district's human resources department. i've been talking with the head of our HR and she has been so sweet and flexible with my request - which leads me to........
2. my principal. she's been so understanding in my most recent news that i've shared with her - and now i should let you know i'm so, SO grateful for........
3. my new PART TIME status :) yep. it's not major part time, but it's still something - i'm going back to work, just 4 days a week! YES! that means i am only away from my baby 4 days, instead of 5. and that, my friends, is glorious. praise THE LORD.

isn't music the greatest?

for me, it speaks straight to my heart.

makes me laugh, cry, and even occasionally, it tempts me to drop it like its hot.

BAM! shake it.

well, unfortunate for us, we have one cd player...in our whole house.

and it's broken. major sad face?? :(

i have a few christmas cd's that i love to play, you know, during this time of year.......and bummer dude. can't play'em.

and, i haven't taken the time to upload my music player in ages..........

and, long story short - i don't have itunes or any other downloading device......

SO the grateful part? (come on now, i had to set the stage........)

oh yes.........

today, december 3, 2010, i'm grateful for:

1. molly's music player. it's always been my fave. and now she's supplyin me (and you!) with the bestest christmas selection ev's.

2. roman's love of music. it's true, he loves it. matter of fact, i think he heard it so much in the womb (i'm a bit of a music addict) that he feels 'at home' as soon as i turn some tunes on. another kudos to molly? well yes, he fell asleep about 5 minutes ago listening to her snowy collection :)
3. this. below. this amazing flash mob. i just LOVE flash mobs. don't you? and my friend colette was in oprah's flash mob earlier this year with the blackeyedpeas. she's cool like that. this one is so cool though. cuz it's one of my favorite songs, evah.

oh dear. here's another!

special thanks to bethany. she told us all about the macy's one last night at wine club. and CHEERS to my return at wine club. oh it was good to be back. so good :)

things have changed... (and gratitude day 2)

...since roman joined me as my little side-kick.

like bigtime change. but it's ok. i don't mind :)

• i don't have time to eat. you know, when we have something planned to do that day. of course, if we are home all day, i can munch around when he's down for a nap....however. when we leave, its 1)quick nurse him 2)quick change him 3)get him in his carseat 4)hit the road because the time until he needs to nurse again is extremely cherished and must be used to the max - so there is no time for YOU to think about feeding yourself. that can wait until........you get home later........OR
• you happen to buzz through a fast food drive in. but when you realize it's not too safe to eat and drive, you decide to quick snarf your chicken sammy down in the parking lot before taking off. well, guess what?! then the babe wakes up and begins to fuss because, dangit mom?, you stopped the car and he prefers the car to be moving :) SO...you throw the sammy back in the sack and hope that it's at least a little roomtemp when you get home to enjoy it later......however......
• once you're back home its time to nurse again, duh!? remember that time in between feedings that you used to the max? well, times UP. get out the ladies and feed your baby......and then you realize.....
• oh i wasted money with the fast food sammy, because now i am back home and i could have just found something here to munch on instead. oh well, mr leif will just enjoy (sarcastic) adding my cold chicken sammy to our 'eatout' budget.....does that really qualify as eating out? huh. yep. now it does :)

ok. i actually wrote that whole little blabble with a smile on my face, and even chuckled a bit. so please, OH please don't think i mind this CHANGE. seriously i'm embracing it with open arms. i know its the life of a momma, and for me? it's only just begun. so bring on the cold chicken sammys..........and da happy babies :) AND......... it's 3:11 in the AM. because yep. things have changed. i'm not sleeping like some of you are........nope. i've just put little rome back in his crib. he DID sleep from 9:00 - 2:00!!!!!!! so he DID need to eat, because it had been 5 hours!! and since i went to bed at 9:30 - that gave me 4 and a half ours of beautiful SLEEP.

thank you ROMAN!

dont you think i forgot...........

today, december 2, 2010, i am grateful for:

1. chicken sanwiches. from burger king. with only ketchup. warm? or cold.....they're GOOOOOOOOD and they're one of my fave's. judge if you wish health nuts! jk. i know i know.....gross, right? nahhhhhh i love em.

2. mr. leif's love of pizza. because if i had to love it alone, i wouldn't get to eat it enough....but since he loves it too........then we get it lots :)

3. roman's new found love to talk back to me. yeah yeah........i love that my kid talks back to me??? sounds like he needs a spank. haha JK. but really. someday i will laugh in despair that i used to love it when he 'talks back'........ but now? now i could eat it up like ice cream. i talk to him, saying things like......."open up or i'll wack your cheek with this nipple shield my lovie" (said in super cheesy, smile for me voice) and then..........he babbles back!!! it's the greatest. and there's something about the 'nipple shield' word, it gets him every time....... (yes. i use a nipple shield)

cheers to december...

...it's my last month home with little rome.

oh goodness. in 32 days, i will drop my baby off at someone else's house. for 9 hours.
9 HOURS?!?!?!?
yep, 9 hours, each day.

and it will be brutal.

however, my sweet mother in law has suggested that rather then spend this last month dwelling on the misery of what will be my return to work, - i spend my time constructively. she challenged me to come up with 3 things i am grateful for, about my life, and the reality of where God has me right now - so as to channel my thoughts into positive things rather then the negatives that threaten to consume me as i get closer to january 3rd.

how funny is this. i just wrote, yesterday, about how i was GOING to do some sort of thankfulness theme in ode to thanksgiving throughout november.....but never got around to it. and now, this door has been opened.

so here's to day one.
and these will be in no particular order - just randoms as they pop in my head.

today, december 1, 2010, i am grateful for

1. roman's little lips. i kiss them a lot. i am glad i've been able to for 7 weeks and counting.
2. my office at work. it's big enough i can have a couch and three lounge chairs, and a table for my groups too.
3. picture texting. because i text pictures of roman to my family on a daily basis - and they love it :)

oh yes..........and i reserve the right to play catch up. you know, if i miss a day - then the next day i'll do double :)